


SEAL TEAM - I'm here for you Clay.

by MirandaForever



Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Boys In Love, Bromance, Brotherly Love, Canon Gay Relationship, Clay Spenser - Freeform, Control, First Kiss, First Time, Forbidden Love, Foreplay, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Jason Hayes - Freeform, Jason and Clay Sex, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Male Bonding, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, Massage, Military, Mutual Masturbation, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Public Hand Jobs, Sauna, Sex, Sex Toys, Shower Sex, clayspenser, mature - Freeform, seal team, sonnyquinn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-13 07:04:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 66,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21490333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirandaForever/pseuds/MirandaForever
Summary: Clay can't help the feelings he has, but with Jason his Team leader its a secret he knows he must keep. That's until a massage & Sauna reveal that Jason feels the same way. Now will they risk everything to take it to the next level? And can Clay keep control of his emotions or will his desire to be with the man he loves, give them away?***WARNING M/M Mature (explict in parts) 18+ *****
Relationships: Jason Hayes/Clay Spenser
Comments: 68
Kudos: 119





	1. Spilt coffee

**Author's Note:**

> After some comments I received I feel I need to add ***Warning***  
This contains Male NSFW stuff so please I'm adding this in to remind you. I know there is a lot of Love for this story out there so please don't be leaving Neg comments just because M/M is not your thing or you don't see Jason/Clay together (we know it's not gonna happen on the show doesn't make it less interesting idea as a story)  
I don't mind criticism if my writing sucks or something constructive or even requests for the characters but not because its M/M  
The story is tagged so please if this isn't your thing (I get that not everything is for everyone) just back out and don't read
> 
> My stories tend to go where the Characters lead (I don't ever really have a plot when I start out) and this is going to get pretty steamy between these two so you are **Warned***

**requested story  
**

**Does contain MATURE themes and a M/M sexual relationship so if that's not your thing, then please don't go any further with it! **   


** **

**warning - Does contain MATURE themes and a M/M sexual relationship so if that's not your thing then please don't go any further with it!**

**Chapter 1 - Spilt coffee**

  
Clay's slouched in his chair as he sits at the desk. Lost in his own thoughts he's annoyingly tapping his pen against the side of the table as he stares at Jason.

Deep inside his own head, he's watching as Jason leans back in his chair. His strong arms, crossed behind his head. The positioning makes his biceps bulge in the short sleeves of his shirt.

He has this deep frown set in on his forehead as they all discus their new infil plan, for the mission they've just been assigned.

Clay takes another deep breath, sighing as he smiles contentedly to himself.

He's thinking about the way he notices that Jason, always takes his cap off , rubbing his hand through his hair, then turns it around and places it back on his head. It's like a nervous trait that he does when he's overthinking, and it always makes Clay smile.

Now, his eyes move down to his face. Studying the deep frown lines, the worn ruggedness of time etched in patterns on his cheeks. The years of danger he's seen written all over him.

It makes Clay smile and unable to take his eyes off of him, he's thinking about how strong he looks, how powerful and sexy....

"Hey... Golden boy, are you listenin' over there'"?

Clay immediately snaps back into the room. Sonny throws a ball of scrunched up paper towards him, hitting him on the cheek. Seeing him zoned out he calls to him "Clay... Hey! Are you even in there?"

"Um .... Yeah!" he frowns, realizing he hasn't actually heard a single word anyone's said for at least the past half an hour. He's spent the whole-time watching Jason and fantasizing in his head about something that can't be.

"Sorry man, I was miles away. What?..."

"Jesus Clay..." he laughs "where they hell'd you go?" he frowns watching the look on his face "Are you alright?" he questions.

Clay's shifting slowly and uncomfortably around in his seat "Yeah, I'm fine!" he awkwardly , replies. He was trying to, subtly, adjust what's happening in his pants. All that staring and fantasizing has give him a hard, like you wouldn't believe. _  
_

_Shit!!!.... _ He sighs to himself. He's so uncomfortable. Daring not too move for the of giving himself away.

"Clay, you okay?" Jason frowns, looking round at him and calling out. He notices how pale and uncomfortable he looks. That really doesn't help his dilemma.

"Yeah.. yeah I'm fine. I just.... I don't know, I was just having a moment. I think I'm a little tired, that's all. Don't worry, carry on." He smiles, awkwardly trying to deflect the unwanted attention " Look, I'll go make some coffee. You all want some?"

"Yeah, that be good!" Jason smiles at him. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asks concerned

"Yeah!" Clay nods. Then as he gets up he pulls at the crotch in his pants. Ttrying to cover up what's going on.

Ray frowns, watching him. He looks over at Jason on the other side of the table "You think he's alright?"

"I don't know..." Jason shrugs "he's sure got something on his mind. He got woman troubles or somethin' we don't know about Sonny?"

"No... " Sonny shrugs "Not that I know of. Though I don't think he's been getting _any _for a while"he laughs "maybe that's a problem. Guess he should go needs to go jerk off somewhere, unleash some of that pent up tension. Maybe he has got someone on his mind. If he has, then I don't know who."

Jason frowns, leaning further back in his chair, his hands still behind his head. He smiles. He can see Clay though the window. Watching as he makes the coffee.

_Ohhhh!.... _He sighs. Glad to be out of the intense atmosphere of the briefing room. _C'mon Clay, you need to get a grip!... _He berates himself. _ You know that can't ever happen, So why the hell do you keep thinking about it?_

Pouring the coffee into the cups, he smiles. Staring as he now pours the hot liquid steaming liquid into Jason's favorite mug.

Looking up he can see through the window. Looking staring, he can see the back of Jason's head. He lets out another long and wishful sigh. _Oh, God! Just stop it! _

He places his hand to his crotch, trying to stave off the hard on that's growing, each time he thinks about Jason. Adjusting himself. His semi hardness, now the main focus in his head.

_I can't keep feeling like this. _"It has to stop!"_  
_

"Stop!?"

_Oh, shit!... _ Clay jumps, spilling the coffee all over the table. Jason behind him repeating his words. 

He swallows nervously, tensing his body as Jason places a hand on his shoulder, massaging it "You okay Clay?" he frowns "I mean... you um... you look like you got a spillage going on!" he laughs, teasingly "You need me to give you a hand, cleaning _that _up?"

Clay takes a breath, Jason's words sound like innuendo. Even if they aren't, they're turning him on. He can feel a pressing need in his shorts now and he nearly chokes as he stifles the groan.

_Oh. god!!.... _ "No, no I'm good!" he smiles, unable to actually look Jason in the eyes.

"Look, I'm here for you Clay. Know that. If you've got a problem, then you can talk to me, right?" he smiles at him now, staring him deep in the eyes "I mean you can talk to me about _anything_. "  
He takes a breath "Look Clay, I know I don't always come across like I listen. But I am here for you....always."

He rubs at Clay's shoulders again, putting him on the arms and back.

Clay's hand shakes and he swallows nervously . Tensing up as Jason s hand guides fimly across is shoulders and down his back.

"You know, you need to relax." Jason massages his shoulders "Maybe you should go get a massage. We could maybe go together, after training?" he continues to manipulate the muscles in his back "I've had this tension in my shoulder for days. It would do us both good."

"Oh um....." Clay stutters " I don't know, I don't think I have time."

"Hey c'mon, Look, I know this great place. Does a full body rub down, and it would give us chance to talk, just me and you?"

Clay closes his eyes. Even the thought of watching Jason naked, being massaged, well, he's not sure he can cope with that "I. .. I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure"

Jason now places both his large, strong hands on Clay's shoulders. Squeezing hard, rubbing firm and deep into his muscles.

Clay smiles. He has a really good touch, strong, hard but feels really nice and Clay closes his eyes, he's enjoying it a little too much

_Oh, god!.... _His thoughts start to get lost in the fantasy that's playing over in his head. "That feels so.... good." he sighs. Then realizing the tone he'd used "I'm sorry. .." He apologizes, the words didn't turn up. ng the words didn't stay in his head.

"See.... you're relaxing already." Jason smiles "Tell you what, get this kit off, and have a full rub down. You'll feel like a new man. I'll call them now, get us booked in for later. I'll get the special, they do all your muscles,_ everywhere._ You'll feel great after" he slaps Clay hard on the back

"umm... Okay, yeah thanks." He swallows again " That'll be great."

"C'mon then. You getting that coffee sorted or not." Jason leans across him, brushing his arm across Clay's chest as he takes the cup from his hand. "You need to get the spillage you've made taken care of"

Jason's smiles looking at where the coffee which has has leaked off the table and on to Clay's pants.

"Oh shit!... Damn it!" Clay frowns. Wiping his hand on the front of his Khakis "Yeah I'll get cleaned up."

He smiles, looking up as Jason towers over him and just for a moment, he take the chance to stare him deep in the eyes. It sends an intense feeling down his body and horemoness racing around his body.

Jason smiles watching him.

"Great!" His look lingers a little longer than Clay expected, and he can feel the tension that it creates between them. Like an electrical connection.

Clay can't help but smile. Taking a deep breath. He length is so hard now that he daren't move. and he's not sure how to relieve the feeling.

Maybe he should go to the bathroom and relieve the tension that Jason's touch caused

  
_Oh shit! What are you thinking Clay! You're at work. He's your boss, and here you are thinking of jerking off in the bathroom. This needs to stop._ _I need to get out of this massage, there's no way I can get through that._

He closes his eyes, waiting for the rock hard swelling to subside.

He takes lots of deep breaths but nothing he does is making it go away, in fact now it's having the opposite effect and the more he thinks about it, the harder he's getting. He's really enjoying it.

Thinking too much about Jason's touch on his shoulders, his strong hands manipulating his back muscles. The rough firm massage of his shoulders._ Hmmmm!_ He closes his eyes, enjoying these thoughts.

"Okay, come on tell me, who is she?"

"Shit!... Clay jumps. Turning around he finds Sonny staring at him "Sorry what?"

"I said who is she?" He laughs "Oh c'mon Clay, you're standing there, lost in thoughts, smile on your face, and I'm not being rude here but...it's kinda _hard _ not to notice, the um.... " he coughs, looking down and indicating towards the large bulge he can see in Clay's pants.

"Oh, .. " he puts his hand down. Embarrassed he tries to "It's none of your damn business. Sonny... " he snaps "why can't you just leave me the hell alone!."

"Woah!" Sonny frowns at Clay's tone "Okay ..calm down. You know, I'm gonna find out what's going on you. Who it is, that's got you so tensed up."

He pats Clay on the back, taking a coffee from the table and then disappears back into the briefing room.

Clay takes a deep breath calming himself _No, no you're not. No one is. They can't. _


	2. Clay's in pain

Clay thuds his helmet down on to the floor of his cage. Thumping his fist hard, on the metal frame. "FUCK..." He screams loudly, "fuck it!" He takes a breath, rubbing his hands through his hair, trying to calm himself before slumping down on his seat, head in hands, _fuck !_ He grimaces with the pain he can feel in his leg. Rubbing his hand against his calf, he takes another deep breath. If he was one for crying, now would be a moment he'd do it.  
Closing his eyes, he has a hard lump of emotions stuck in his throat - it hurts so bad, and he drops his head.

"What the hell!" Sonny throws his boots across the room and with thud his helmet to the back of his cage "What the hell was that all about? What did Jason even think he was doing out there?" He sighs as he stands in the doorway of Clay's cage, looking at his forlorn expression and him with his head in hands. "Clay.... Clay, you alright, man?" Clay doesn't answer, just nods his head slowly. Sonny sighs. "Man, I'm sorry, I can't believe he was being such an asshole out there. I don't know what the hell he thought you did? But he sure had no right to treat you like that."

"It's okay, it's not your fault. Sonny, I'm fine, don't worry." Clay continues to rub at his calf, still grimacing with the pain.

Ray enters the room followed by Trent and Brock, "Hey, so how's it goin'? 

"What the fuck was that Ray?" Sonny's stands up closing in on his face with his questions. " Has Jay lost his mind? Pushing the kid like that, what the hell did he think he'd achieve?"

Ray shrugs, "I have no idea brother... I guess he got somethin' in his head. Look, I'll speak to him, man."

"Yeah well now's your chance." Sonny nods towards the door as Jason comes into the room. Without acknowledging any of them, he enters his cage, pulling his T-shirt over his head. The silence is deafening and he looks around at the team standing there staring at him. "What?"

"What?" Sonny laughs, "You say what! Jeez, I don't believe you! Jason... " Sonny frowns, hardly able to get his words out "what the hell was that about with Clay? You could have killed the kid out there in that heat."

Jason frowns and laughs "Yeah right Sonny, so I pushed him harder, so what?" he sighs "Look, he has to learn to deal with the pressure. He wants to run with the best, go up against the best, then he has to be the best and if that means pushing him... then I will." He throws his T-shirt down into his wash pile, "Look, I'm not here to give him special favors. He needs to pull his weight like everyone else. He doesn't get a free pass from me just because of his looks, you know."

Sonny laughs "What you think he thinks cos he's the pretty boy of the team, that we ease up on him?" Sonny walks forward, pushing his chest out and fronting up to Jason.

But before it can get serious Ray hauls him back, "Sonny man, leave it!"

"Leave it, Ray? Seriously? You saw the way he balled the kid out. What the hell was that about?"

Ray looks at Jason, "Man, you were hard on him, I have to admit."

Jason leaves his cage "Hard on him?" he frowns "So, what ... Sonny, has he come crying to you or somethin'?"

"No! I'm just saying it wasn't right how hard you were on him."

Jason pushes Ray out the way and stands in Clay's cage doorway "So they right? What they're sayin', that I pushed you too hard? Is that true, is that what you think? Is that what you told them?"

Clay doesn't look up, he's still rubbing his calf "No, no, I never said that. Everything's fine"

Jason turns around looking at Ray and Sonny, "See! Everything's fine. He said it himself." he laughs.

Clay looks up from where he sits, his eyes stare up at Jason. He's standing there, shirt off, in his space. He doesn't know how he feels as he watches the man he adores, the man he looks up to, but a man who's just treated him like shit all morning during training. He has to admit, inside, it hurts. Clay's heart pounds with the pain in his chest, the emotion trapped in his throat.

Jason turns back, looking at him, and for a fleeting moment, his emotions wavier. He can see the hurt and pain in Clay's expression and he regrets, the shouting, the scornful words and running him ragged up that hill. "So, you just gonna sit there looking all sorry for yourself?"

Clay takes a breath. He knows he should stand up to him, but he can't, he can't fight him right now because he's hurting, not only emotionally but physically too. "I need a shower." he hobbles up on his sore, aching feet. His leg is in a lot of pain now, but there's no way he' gonna let Jason know that.

"No! No, you sit down your ass down!" Jason pushes him back in the chair. 

Clay tries to avoid his gaze, looking anywhere except at Jason. "Jason, just leave me alone. I need a shower, and to go home."

"Go home? You wanna go home? What the hell is wrong with you?" he sighs, rubbing his hand through his hair "So I pushed you a bit, found your limits. You know why I do that?" He looks him deep in the eyes, "I do it because I see something in you. A potential to be the best. But to be the best, I have to see that you have discipline. That under the extreme pressures you won't crack. That at the first sign of it being difficult, that you have what it takes to keep control, and when the going gets tough that you won't just give in. But mainly I want to see that when you really want something, that you will do what it takes to get it."

Clay looks at him, doe-eyed, unsure from the way Jason talks, that the speech is about training. No this sounds more like he's talking about Clay's want for him. He's testing him, wanting to know if his feelings are real, and that he will do what it takes to have what he wants. It makes Clay feel better, makes his heart leap knowing that Jason's recognized the small subtle signs of his feelings. "Yeah!" he nods "Yeah I want it." he smiles "I've wanted nothing more in my life. But you know that deep inside you now that's what I want, so you don't need to treat me this way. You know I'd do anything for you. Run any hill, climb any mountain, take any amount of pain to just be part of your team"

Jason smiles "Well there we have it!" he looks around at Sonny and Ray "The kid understands, he gets it," he turns back "So, if you wanna be with Bravo, then you need to get tough, show me you're serious about giving me your all."

"I will." Clay smiles, "I will show you. I'll show you what BRAVO means to me! What_ you_ mean to me."

"Good! Now ..." he smiles, "drop your pants!"

"What?" Clay frowns. Looking around, the look on his face questioning Jason's order "Drop my pants?" he laughs, embarrassed.

"Yeah, drop your pants, and let me look at that leg. I saw you walking back, you looked like you've pulled something!?"

"Um... No! No, it's fine. It was cramp."

"Look, I said, drop your pants. I want to look, see if you did any damage." Clay gulps, feeling very awkward about having to undress like this, but slowly he does as he's told and undoes his belt, before unbuttoning his fly. Then he hesitantly pulls his Khaki combats down. "Come on kid, speed it up, we haven't got all day." Jason impatiently sighs, "Trent! You got any heat rub in there?"

"Um .. yeah!" Trent searches his medical bag and throws Jason the tube of cream.

Sonny shakes his head and sighs, rubbing his head in relief that everything has now calmed down. He picks up his towel, "I'm gonna get a shower. I'll catch you all later - at the bar. Cos, I sure as hell need a drink."

"Yeah sure." Ray frowns, "No actually, I'll come with you now, Sonny."

"Yeah... we um.. we might be a little late." Jason looks at them, then back around at Clay who's just stepping out of his pants. He smiles as his eyes scan over Clay's naked legs, "We've got a sports massage booked, so we might be awhile."

"You have?" Ray frowns, "Since when? You didn't say."

"I booked it earlier, though it might help relieve some of Clay's pent-up frustrations." he laughs, "We're still on for that right?" He frowns, questioning Clay who's standing, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot, nearly naked, wearing just in his white boxer shorts. Jason stares at him, he can't help noticing how tightly the white stretch cotton clings to his pert, muscly, butt cheeks.

"Um... I thought I might give it a miss, you know, um... after today. Just go home, get some rest."

"What?" Jason frowns at him, "No, I want you to _come!_" Jason smiles at him "And it'll do this leg some good. Now keep still and let me look."

"Look... Jason," he sighs "It's fine, I can manage."

"Will you shut the hell up and let me look."

Clay closes his eyes as Jason squeezes the heat paste from the tube. Putting it on his fingers, he then spreads it, with firm strokes, all over the back of Clay's calf. He grimaces, his body goes ridged at the touch of Jason's hand on his leg, and he lets out a long pain-filled sigh

"That hurt?" Jason frowns.

"A bit." Clay continues to grimace, "Not much, it's fine." He smiles, he's thinking how nice the touch is and how good it feels. Realizing where there are he coughs, "Really Jason, I can do it myself. It will easier"

"You don't want me doing it?"

Clay takes a breath, "No, it's not that." he laughs. In fact, if Clay's honest, he likes it. He likes it too much. Really, really too much. But as Jason rubs his skin, massaging his leg, it's having unintended consequences in his groin. He can feel his body harden in the wrong places and he puts his hand across his waist, trying to cover his growing bulge. But he's having difficulty maintaining control of his body, and the more firmly Jason rubs his muscle, the more his cock springs to life _Oh god! _He sighs as it dawns on him that if Jason carries on doing what he's doing, then the pleasure he's getting will be more than obvious to everyone. "Jason" he puts his hand on his and stops him "It's alright now! It's fine!"

"No, no it feels tight to me." he smiles "I need to loosen it up." He continues up and down his skin, massaging deeper into Clay's firm leg muscles.

"Awww" Clay cries out as Jason massages too hard.

"Hey!" Jason looks at him "What did I tell you about keeping control?"

Clay nods, biting his lip as the pain rips up his thigh. Now he knows Jason is massaging further up his leg, away from his calf, working for his hand up over the back of his thigh. He gasps, catching his breath at how pleasurable it feels, and he looks down, checking what he's doing. Jason notices his gaze and he smiles watching him. It's starting to feel better now, not so tight, and he hands the tube of cream to Clay. "I think that'll do ya, for now. Any more problems with it, speak to Trent. He'll have something stronger for the pain."

"No, no, I'll be fine."

"Okay, well get dressed then. We'll get to this massage appointment,"

"Um...yeah, yeah sure." he frowns awkwardly, he's still worried how he will cope with this massage. But as his eyes now criss-cross Jason's naked torso, his great looking chest muscles, and toned physique, he reminds himself about having control, that he can't give away how he feels and that he must learn to cope with the stress of his feelings when he can't do anything about them.

It's going to be a hard test, but if today taught him anything, it's that he can sustain emotional pressure. He looks at Jason and smiles. Jason notices his gaze and Clay awkwardly looks away.   
  
"Clay, what are you waiting for?"

"What?" Clay frowns. He's wondering if Jason can read his mind, see the thoughts he's having. The ones about running his hands over that chest, putting his kisses on it, and rubbing his own chest against it.

"Hey, I said, what are you waiting for? Get dressed!" He points to his watch, "We need to go."

"Oh um.. yeah! Yeah sure, I'm coming,"

"I hope so." Jason smiles


	3. That feels really good

**After some comments I received I feel I need to add this   
***Warning*** this does contain Male NSFW stuff so please I'm adding this in to remind you. I know there is a lot of Love for this story out there so please don't be leaving Neg comments just because M/M is not your thing or you don't see Jason/Clay thing (we know it's not gonna happen doesn't make it less interesting as a story)   
I don't mind criticism if my writing sucks or something constructive or even requests for the characters.**

**The story is tagged up so please if this isn't your thing (I get that not everything is for everyone) just back out and don't read**

**My stories tend to go where the Characters lead (I don't ever really have a plot when I start out) and this is going to get pretty steamy between these two so you are **Warned*** 😎**

Clay looks around the clean white reception area, the comfy looking couches, the large red pillows and the green plants that seem to fill every shelf and spare space.

The heavily made up woman, with long blonde hair, is talking with Jason at the desk and Clay sits himself down, fidgeting with his pants, leaning back on the couch. He's trying to act relaxed when, truthfully, inside he's really tense, almost terrified.   
Give him a gun and drop him in the middle of J 'Bad and that doesn't even come close to the adrenaline that's surging round his body right now.

Jason looks around at him and smiles "You okay?" he frowns, at the look of apprehension on Clay's face

Clay nods but doesn't speak. Jason leans his back against the desk, staring at Clay "You done this before?"

"What?" Clay frowns , he takes a deep breath "Done what?"

"Massage! Have you had a full body massage before?"

Clay shakes his head and nervously coughs "No! No, never"

Jason smiles a reassuring grin "First time eh! Well we better make it an experience you won't forget."   
He winks at him and with that one gesture Clay's anxiety goes through the roof. He can feel the sweat beading on his forehead and his heart pounding fast in his chest.   
  
He flicks through the magazines laid beside him on the small table. He's trying to occupy his mind, moving the thoughts of some woman laying her hands on him, massaging his body, out of his head. He sighs, looking up, watching Jason as he fills in the forms at the desk.   
  
As Jason walks over to his seated position , handing him the clipboard he smiles at Clay "You need to fill that in, before we go through for our session!"

Clay nods as he starts to write. His hand is shaking, and he looks up giving Jason a nervous smile. It doesn't help steady his shaking that Jason looks great in the tight grey Tee and dark, loose fitting combats he's wearing. Loose combats that Clay now wishes he'd kept on.   
The Jeans he's wearing fit very tight round the top of his muscled thighs and groin.   
He's worried that the pangs of hardness that keep pounding in his shorts will clearly be seen.

He stands up, handing the form back to the pretty girl at the desk. She smiles and Clay hesitantly smiles back.

The heavily made up woman, Joanne, is back "Mr Hayes, Mr Spenser" she smiles at them both "Your room is ready. Would you like to come through?"

"Room?" Clay frowns staring at her then looking at Jason "I um... I thought we were both getting a massage, no?"

She smiles "Yes, yes a massage for two" she looks at the form she has in her hand "Mr Hayes requested a twin massage, is that not correct?" she can see Clay's nerves "So you can talk together while you relax"

"Yes, that's fine." Jason smiles.

She smiles back, first at Jason then at Clay "Don't look so nervous Mr Spenser. We're very professional. We'll have you relaxed in no time."

_I doubt that. _Clay sighs to himself _Oh God! Let's just get this over._  
Clay's anxiety if full peak now and the fact that he's going to have to be with Jason while they get the massaged is making it worse. He closes his eyes _I'm never gonna get through this._

"Oh! Um ...Mr Hayes . Just tell Devon when you're ready for the Sauna, and he'll prepare it."

"Thanks Joanne." he smiles " C'mon Clay, let's get you ready for your first time."

"What?" Clay's was lost in his thoughts and didn't hear properly what Jason said he's more concerned about the "Sauna! I – I thought we were just getting a massage?"

"Yeah, well I booked the whole deal" Jason smiles, looking pleased with himself "Hey, you looked like you needed some time out. So, I thought we could make the most of it. C'mon enjoy it, I'm payin'. "he laughs

Clay nods and frowns "Okay, if you say so."

"Clay, trust me, you're gonna enjoy this. You're gonna leave feeling like a new man." he rubs his hands on his shoulders, digging his fingers deep into the muscles " All that tension that you've been storing up, will be gone."   
He smiles, then leading the way down the corridor Clay follows him to the open door at the end.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The room they enter, is quiet and sparse, all bright white and clean. There are two massage beds side by side, with just enough room for someone to stand between them, they have crisp clean white towels lying across them.  
_Towels! Thank God!_ Clay sighs to himself, realising after they got there that he'd forgotten to bring one.

Joanne stands at the door "Well if you're like to get undressed gentlemen. Devon and Yvette will be with you shortly"

"Great! Joanne.... thanks." Jason's smiles confidently, immediately pulling his grey coloured Tee over his head.  
Joanne hesitates at the door, watching as Jason starts to strip naked. Clay notices the smiles she gives him and the fact that Jason smiles back and subconsciously flexes his muscles in front of her. As her smiles widens there's something inside Clay that stings of jealous annoyance as he watches her staring at Jason. He coughs in displeasure and she looks in Clay's direction before apologetically closing the door.

Jason smiles to himself. He's secretly loving the fact that not only was Joanne staring at him that Clay was too. He undoes his combats then sits in the chair before slipping his sneakers off and placing them under it. "You not getting undressed then?"

"Um... yeah, yeah sure." Clay smiles awkwardly, now realising there's no getting away from this and he's trying to decide does he takes his pants off first or his Tee. He goes with the Tee, pulling the white material over his head, laying it on the chair and smoothing the fabric.   
  
He's now conscious of his naked body and as the cool air from the fan hits his skin it causes his nipples to peak. He turns away and he's aware that Jason's completely undressed and is lying on his chest, naked, on the massage couch waiting.   
He also notices Jason's watching him. That really doesn't help his stress levels as he unbuttons his jeans and he pauses for a moment as he pulls them down his legs because he can feel a sudden groan in his shorts _Oh no! Not now please!_   
  
He looks around and his attention is diverted by the naked curve of Jason's super fit butt lying there. Though that doesn't help his sudden dilemma and as he stands naked, apart from his tight white shorts, the treatment room door opens wide.

A huge, tanned, well-built muscle type guy walks in followed by a small pretty woman, her hair tied in a tight ponytail. Clay sighs as she smiles at him _Oh god she's so pretty._ _Can this get any worse?_

"Jason brah! How are you?" The guy smacks Jason hard on his bare ass.   
  
Jason smiles and sits up giving a fist bump "Devon! It's been a while man, how you doin' ?"

"Yeah, I'm good thanks." he looks around checking Clay out.   
  
"Oh! That's my _friend_ Clay, he's a been a bit tense lately, so I thought you could sort him out. Give him one of your _specials_ maybe?" Jason laughs

_Oh no!_ Clay looks at him and smiles "Hey! How you doin'?!"

"I'm good thanks" Devon smiles back "Oh, Yvette here is gonna be sorting you out. I'm gonna be giving this butt a good pummel!" he laughs at Jason "See if we make you cry like a girl, like last time, eh?"

Jason laughs "Yeah, yeah you can try! I'm ready for you this time."

"We'll see." he looks at Clay whose expression is confused "He cried like a baby last time I gave his muscles a workout."

Clay frowns at the dark-haired woman who's now standing by the couch nearest him. "Oh, it can happen! Crying" she smiles "When you're that deeply relaxed, when your inner worries come to the surface. That's why it's so good for you, let's all the emotional and physical tension release."

Clay nods. He hops up on to the couch and lays down. Yvette coughs and looks at Devon

"Oh um.... Clay" he frowns "You need to take your shorts off. This is a _whole-body_ experience. Can't do that in shorts." he smiles

"_Whole body_?" Clay frowns wondering what exactly that means. His head wrinkles with concern "I thought maybe... it would be okay, just to keep these on?"

Yvette smiles "Clay..." she puts her hand on his arm reassuring him "I know what you're thinking but don't worry. It happens all the time. It's normal and I'm used to it"   
She smiles again "It's just part of the relaxing process, not a sexual thing. So please don't be concerned. We're all here to make you feel comfortable and relax. But, please, you need to take the shorts off to make the most of the experience."

Clay takes a deep breath and stepping off the bed he slowly pulls his shorts down. He closes his eyes, and gulps embarrassed. Almost immediately that the material leaves his waist, his cock springs to life _Oh god!_ he frowns "Sorry." 

She smiles "Why don't we start with a back massage." She points to the couch and Clay nods as he lays on his chest. He's slightly more relaxed now as he covers the massive hard on he's experiencing.

Jason smiles at him.

Clay can't take his eyes off Jason's naked form and it seems Jason has no problem laying there fully exposed. His eyes wander slowly over his nakedness, watching as Devon puts oil on Jason's chest.   
Clay can't help following the movement of his hands as they move over Jason's stomach and down his sides. He takes a deep breath, imagining Devon's hands are his own. That it's his hands moving the oil over Jason's skin and he sighs as he looks again. _There it is! _   
There it is, all, must be twelve inches of it, standing proud from Jason's body, the largest, hardest man rod that Clay's ever laid eyes on _Oh my god! He's perfect. _He smiles to himself

"Didn't take long for him to relax did it?" Devon laughs, as he notices Clay staring at Jason's erect manhood.   
  
Jason smiles, loving the attention and closing his eyes to the feeling of Devon's hands working their magic over his chest. "Mmm!" he sighs "No! No, you're too good at this. That's why."  
  
"Well, we'll see if you're saying that when I start working my touch on those butt and thigh muscles." he laughs "I'm gonna give them an intense going over today."

Clay takes a deep breath. He can hardly believe that he's watching as Jason lets this guy just massage him like that. No matter what he thinks, he knows this is one huge turn on.   
  
He takes another deep breath, as he feels the smaller, but still firm hands of Yvette working her way down his back and over his own butt. _That feels good. That feels, **really, **good. _

What doesn't feel so good, is the stiffness he has underneath him. In fact, its awkward as his cock is wedged in the wrong position. It aches so much that its actually starting to hurt. He tries to breathe through the throbbing, but he can't, and he fidgets on the table.

"Are you okay?" Yvette frowns as he she watches him

"Um... kind of. Actually, no!" he frowns

"Oh!" she smiles working out the problem for herself "Would you like me to stop a moment so you can sort yourself?"

"Um.. yeah, yeah please." He puts his hand down underneath to his groin as he adjusts the position of swollen member. As his hand touches it he doesn't want to let go because he's so turned on. If he was here alone he would just keep feeling the swelling, but he can't.

"Is that better?" she smiles

"Yeah, better thanks."

"Good!" she smiles "Now relax. After all, that's what you're here for"   
  
She continues to work her hands down his body while he listens to the groans Jason's making on the table beside him "Oh god Devon, that feels so good."

"Can't believe how tense you are there Jay! Too much work not enough play is my guess" he laughs

"Yeah" he smiles "I guess I'm gonna have to do something about that."

Devon smiles "Okay time to turn over. Let's give that butt a go."

Clay nearly chokes. He can't believe the innuendo going on between them, but Clay's eyes widen as Jason slowly turns over. He does so facing Clay, and it's then that he gets a full view of Jason huge cock   
"Oh my god!" Clay can't believe the size or how good he looks. This must be the first time Clay's seen Jason fully naked and it lives up to everything he'd imagined   
"Fuck! That's great!" The words slip from his lips before he even realises, and Jason smiles.

Yvette looks at him as she pummels her hand into his butt muscles "You like that?"

"Oh um.. yeh!" Clay blushes as he realises his mistake "Yeah that feels good"

"Okay, well it's time for you to turn over too"

"Um ...what right now?"

she smiles "Yeah time to give that chest a good work out."  
Clay slowly moves, but he realises that seeing Jason fully naked has again awakened his cock, and he wonders how he's going to turn over with any dignity.  
  
Jason lays on his front, his eyes fixed on Clay "Come on Clay, don't worry. She told you they've seen it all before."

Devon smiles at him. He can feel his awkwardness "Maybe it's a woman doing it that's the problem. Yvette why don't you take over here, and I'll do Clay. I'd love to give those chest muscles a good workout."

"Do me?" Clay frowns

"Massage!" Devon laughs "I meant maybe you'll be able to relax more with a guy doing it."

"Um... yeah sure." He feels really awkward now and he notices that Jason's still staring at him as Devon and Yvette swap over.  
Jason's eyes light up with a glint of excitement as Clay turns his naked body over, and the large hard cock he's been hiding under him, springs out in full glory.

Clay can't help noticing Jason's smile broaden, and though he feels slightly embarrassed he also feels good that Jason smiles.

"Wow!" Jason laughs "So, that's what you've been hiding all this time."

Clay awkwardly lies on his back. There's nothing he can do now as he has no control over his body, and he can feel not Devon's gaze on his body but Jason's. As he looks over he smiles watching as Jason stares at him. It turns him on even more knowing that Jason is appreciating his body.

"That's better." Devon smiles "You seem much more relaxed now."

Clay gasps as Devon's large oily hands work their way over his taut chest. His muscles spasm and his nipples peak at the first feelings of the large, man hands, on his body.   
So many times, he's tried to imagine what he would feel like, a man touching his body, and now it's for real and he has to admit it feels good. He closes his eyes as Devon massages down over his stomach working each and every muscle.

He pulls at Clay's thigh bending his leg, massaging down to his calf and as clay opens his eyes he notices Jason is _still _staring at him.   
He's watching every hand movement Devon makes on Clay's body and Clay watches as Yvette works the oil from her bottle, over the rounded curves of Jason tight butt cheeks.   
Clay tries to imagine what it would feel like to do that. Put his own hand on that firm skin, massage his hands down Jason's thighs. Now, as impossible as it seems, his cock stiffens more.  
  
Now it aches from the thoughts of his hands oiling Jason's body and Clay desperately wants to put his hand on to his own stiffness. His ball sack groans and aches with the weight of want

"Oh god! Mmmm" he groans out loud. He's so relaxed now, lost in his thoughts that he doesn't care who hears him. He lays back trying desperately to think of something else, anything else except this situation, but he can't.

"Okay guys" Devon slaps him on the thigh "Times up! We'll give you a break there"   
Clay goes to sit up, but Devon pushes him down "No! No, you stay there. Let your muscles relax" he smiles "Jason, you still want this sauna?"

"Oh yeah!" Jason smiles at Devon then looks at Clay giving a wink "I think he needs it don't you?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I think it might help him lose some more of this tension" Devon laughs "He did well. It was a pleasure. You're a fit guy, Clay, you have good muscles to massage."

Clay smiles unsure how to respond and so he doesn't. Instead he starts to worry about the sauna. He's never had one before and he's not sure what to do.

"Okay, I'll go heat up the sauna and get it prepped. Give you a shout in about fifteen, if that's okay?" Jason nods "Oh, there's bottled water there if you want it! But otherwise just lay back and relax"

"Thanks!" Clay smiles awkwardly. He's trying to relax and as they close the door behind them, he takes at deep breath, which is obvious in the now silent room. He daren't open his eyes, as he's unsure what to do or say, as he and Jason both lie there naked together.

"You want some water, Clay?"   
  
He opens his eyes hearing Jason voice and his body moving around "No" Thanks I'm um.. I'm good."  
He daren't even move now and he just lays there. The stiffness between his legs is finally starting to subside, well it was, that is until he's startled by the rough touch, on his leg, of Jason's hand   
  
"How's that calf muscle feeling now ?" Jason's standing next to his massage table.   
  
He opens his eyes to the sight of Jason's naked body leaning over him, bottle of water in one hand, his other hand on Clay's thigh, stroking it.

"Yeah..." he's so nervous now. The touch makes sparks the sexual tension inside him. This feels so good "Yeah it's better now, thanks" he smiles

"So... you enjoyed this?" Jason questions him

"Um.. I guess. Yeah, yeah it was good."

Jason smiles "Well maybe we could make it a regular thing?"

"Um....Yeah sure" Clay stutters. There's another throbbing between his legs as his cock once again stiffens. He can feel the swell in his balls as they groan with fullness, and Clay decides the minute their out of here, that he's going to the bathroom because he's gonna have to jerk off all this frustration.

"Hopefully the sauna will fix that?" Jason smiles

Clay frowns. worried for a moment that Jason can read his mind "What?"  
He looks down his body, now noticing that Jason is making no secret that he's staring directly at manhood and he looks away, unsure what he should say but he can't make the hardness disappear   
" Oh god! I'm so sorry. I .. it... it's just .. " Clay's words won't form sentences "Sorry, I can't help it. It's not you.. it's"

"Hey!" Jason smiles "Don't be embarrassed. It's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, ... you should be proud." he smiles sipping his water

"Proud?" Clay thinks in his head _Jason said I should be proud of it. _He smiles _Jason's looking at my cock saying I should be Proud of it! _The feeling sends shivers of excitement through Clay's body and he smiles.

They both look around at the sound of the door opening and Devon watching the two of them "Sauna's ready now. If you'd like to come through." He points in the direction of the corridor.

Jason picks up his towel and ties it around his waist. Clay's eyes light up as they scan over his body as he does "C'mon then. What you waiting for?" Jason smiles "Let's get you steamed up."


	4. Learn control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some comments I received I feel I need to add ***Warning***  
This contains Male NSFW stuff so please I'm adding this in to remind you.  
The story is tagged so please if this isn't your thing (I get that not everything is for everyone) just back out and don't read From here on in its gonna get pretty hot stuff so 🔥☢BE WARNED 🔥

**WARNING Contains NSFW M/M**

**Don't complain just don't read if that's not your thing ! :) if it is then please enjoy **

The steam hits Clay's face almost immediately he opens the door, and Devon hands Jason the bottles of cold water  
“I’ll leave you alone now." he winks, patting Jason hard on the arm "You can take as long as you need, there's no more clients today, so you won’t be disturbed." He laughs, smiling a knowing look at Jason "I know how you team guys are used to the heat, but please, keep yourselves hydrated. It can get pretty hot in there."   
He smiles again as he opens the door to leave “Jay, been good to see you. We'll catch up soon, brah!"

Jason smiles at him "Thanks for this Devon. Today has been great. We won't leave it so long next time. We definitely need to catch up and have a couple of cold ones."

"Look forward to it, Jay man." He fist bumps Jason giving him a strong bear hug "Nice meeting you Clay! Enjoy the sauna" he winks at him.

Clay nods, he smiles, a weird, apprehensive feeling of nervous awkwardness, descends over him as he realises that he and Jason are now totally alone together, and it dawns on him that in all the time he's been on BRAVO, he can’t remember any occasions when they were ever totally alone.  
  
“You known him long? Devon, I mean." Clay frowns feeling like he should say something to break the silence between the.

"Oh yeah, Devon." he smiles "Did you know he was a team six seal, EOD specialist. He got injured. He was a long time in rehab recovering. Being out of the field so long, it messed with his head, and he decided to retrain as a physio. He does this as a side gig, likes giving guys like us, in positions like ours, a safe place to unwind. He helps a lot of team guys."

"Really?" Clay frowns he never imagined any of that but from looking at his build and physique he can see it now. Though Clay does wonder _what did Jason mean by_ '_guys in positions like ours' _?  
"Guess he's got the build for it" Clay laughs "But didn't he think it was weird, I mean us coming in together, like this"

Jason smiles "Hey, trust me, there is nothing that phases Devon. He’s the most open-minded guy you will ever meet. Set this place up, specifically, for guys like us."

Clay smiles "So… what do we do now?"

"Now? Now we relax." Jason smiles, gesturing for Clay to enter inside the wooden cabinet which is already filled with hot steam. Closing the door behind them.  
  
Clay takes a seat on one of the slated benches. He's still wrapped in his towel and he tucks it tighter, making sure it doesn't come loose, to reveal anything it shouldn't.

Jason smiles as he watches him awkwardly fidgeting with it "You won’t need that." he smiles "Hand it over."  
  
Clay sighs, he was using it like a comfort blanket, giving himself some reassurance as well has hiding his_ true _feelings. But as Jason asks he feels obliged to remove it, nervously unwrapping it from his waist before laying it out flat on the bench and sitting on it.  
  
Jason takes the opportunity to check out the naked curves of Clay's butt, as he leans over smoothing out his towel. He's so very tempted to run his hand on Clay's naked skin, but he resists, and let's Clay sit unhindered, before Jason places his own towel, on the peg.   
  
The one he has rolled up in his hand, he places on the shelf above his head. He smiles, thinking of the surprise he has for Clay that he's wrapped, hidden inside.

As he stands there naked, Clay can't help but stare, but he immediately feels awkward, realising his head is at the same level as Jason’s waist, and he's starting straight at his cock. He tries to overt his eyes, unsure where is appropriate to look and he sighs, part in awe and part in embarrassment.  
  
Looking up his eyes meet Jason's, as he stares at him. And then before Clay's aware of what's happening, there's a large strong hand stroking his cheek. "So, you done this before?"  
  
Clay frowns "A sauna?" He nervously gulps " No. No, I've never had a sauna before."

Jason laughs "Oh c’mon Clay! You know I don’t mean the sauna." he smiles "Have you been with a man before?"

Clay nearly chokes "Umm… " he takes a deep breath, staring him deep in the eyes, as Jason continues to palm his chin. He’s not sure what to say so he continues to stutter "Um.. no!"  
  
He looks away embarrassed, thinking how much he’d love to tell Jason _Yes! Yes, he’d been with a man. Yes, he'd done this and yes he was experienced. _But he can’t.  
No matter how many fantasies he’s had, scenarios he's imagined or that he and Brian came very close after a drunken fumble ended with them giving each other blow jobs, but thats as far as it went because neither of them could, quite, go the whole way. No, the truth was, he had never been with a man.

"Good!" Jason smiles

_Good?._ Clay frowns wondering what that means. Wondering if he’s read the signals wrong. If actually Jason was trying to find out if he’d been sleeping with men.If he was in trouble.  
He holds his breath wondering what the consequences might be if he’d been brave enough to admit that he had thought about it. _  
Was it **good **because it was wrong? What the hell does he mean? _Good. It was a nothing word, and Clay's heart beats fast with worry.

Jason watches him staring him deep in the eyes, questioning him again "What do you think to me Clay?" he frowns

"Think of you?" he gulps nervously " Um.. well..." he sighs "You’re a great leader, you’re strong, intelligent, powerful … "  
He wants to add, good looking, fit and sexy as hell as he stands there in front of him, but he doesn't, no for now he just shuts his mouth, quietly sitting and staring up like a lost puppy.

Jason smiles, he can see how nervous he is and Jason likes it. He likes that about Clay, his expression his gorgeous blue eyes staring at him in awe, he neediness and his willing to do what ever Jason commanded. He smiles again "So, what do you think to my body?"  
He's teasing him now.

_Oh god ! Why is he asking me that? _He shifts in his seat there's a sudden pang of feelings in his groin and he can feel that nagging ache as he start to stiffen “Um… well, you know.... you work out, keep fit …so you look pretty good, I guess, if ....I mean, if I was looking. If I actually did that."

"So, you don't look? You don't look at my body Clay." Jason smiles, teasing him more

"Um.....” _Oh shit!! _  
Clay's heart beats so fast, as he struggles to find the words and he can't look at him now, fidgeting around desperately trying to stop his hard-on growing "Um… Jason. I'm not sure if I've given you the wrong impression but I .. I .. um .." he stutters

"So, what're you sayin, that you don't wanna fuck? " he smiles waiting for a reply that doesn't come "Yes or no Clay. Straight answer."

Clay looks up at him. His big blue eyes lock on Jason's dark, and his heart nearly bursts out of his chest "Yes!! Yes, I wanna fuck!" he blurts it out but the words are hardly out of his mouth and his cock springs forward, taut and hard, slapping and throbbing against his stomach.  
"Oh god!" He looks away, remorseful for saying it, taking a deep breath ,consumed with anxious worry "I’m sorry, I.. I'll understand if you want me off the team, you know if....."

Jason laughs, his hand under Clay's chin forcing him to look at him. Clay tries to move away but Jason's much too strong, holding his head firm. Clay drops his eyes "Clay look at me."  
  
He hesitates then slowly his eyes focus on Jason's face "Clay, you know no one can ever know about this. What I mean is if we do this, it has to stay our secret. We both have way too much to lose. Navy rules state this can't happen. Do you understand that?"

Clay nods as Jason still holds his head firm forcing him to look up "Yeah! Yeah I understand"

"This is not me, Clay. That’s the rules. Male or female it can’t be. Is that clear?"

Clay nods again, his heart is trying to escape his chest, his cock is so hard it wants to burst, and his ball sack feels like its filled with lead weights. He sighs trying to calm himself._  
Is Jason really saying that we can fuck? Did Jason Hayes say he wants to fuck me? Is that really what he said. _Clay tries desperately to contain the overwhelming emotions surging through his body. "I won’t....I won't say anything"

"No! No, you won't. But you do need to get yourself in control." he sighs looking at him "No more _doe eyes_ in the briefing room, no more sexy smiles, no more small touches, or dirty glances. Do you understand? When I told you have to learn control, I meant it. When we're working this ... this doesn’t exist. It didn't happen. Do you get that?"

Clay wipes the sweat from his brow, the heat is getting to him now, and his body is wet with perspiration. He's not sure if it the steam from the sauna, the panic in his body or just pure sexual frustration "I don’t... I mean, I didn’t know I did those things."

Jason laughs “Well let’s put it this way, other than declare undying love in front of everyone you couldn’t get more obvious." he smiles "but, seriously, all of that, it has to stop.”  
  
He sighs looking at Clay, his cute little submissive face is turning Jason on “That means, no more hard-ons when we sleep on the plane together. You have to learn to control it. If you can’t promise me that, then this..." he puts his hand down and strokes Clay's bulging dick "This, isn’t going to happen. I can’t let you wreck my whole life. Do you understand?”

Clay nods. He can barely contain himself now. That on hand stroke nearly made him cum on the spot “Jason.." he's breathless " I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll be whatever you want. But trust me, I can control it."

Jason looks down and smiles at how hard Clay is now. The veins on his shaft stand proud, pulsating with adrenaline “Doesn’t look like you got much control there.to me"

Clay closes his eyes, he holds his breath, putting his hand over his stiff cock to try and dampen the fire raging inside "Sorry I .. .it's just this whole thing. I mean I've never done this before. Look I promise, I have this in control. I will control it."

Jason leans forward, running his thumb gently round Clay's mouth before putting his lips to Clay's. It takes a moment for Clay to adjust to the sensation. This is different, not soft like the women he's kissed, no this is rough, but he like it. The feeling of Jason stubble, rubbing on his chin and the firm manliness of the way he thrusts his tongue into Clay's mouth. He likes it very much.  
  
"Mmmm" he lets out a soft pleasure laden groan "Oh god!" he gasps. The sensation is more, so much more than he ever imagined it would be.  
He can feel his wet pre cum that's already leaking from his erect cock, warm on his abs. He looks down, scared that he might cum before anything significant happens. _Keep a grip Clay. What will Jason think if you cum just from him kissing you.  
_  
Clay groans again. He wants to grab at Jason's head, pull him towards him and show him just how much he wants this, but his inexperience means he's unsure if he's allowed. Is he _allowed_ to touch Jason or if he should wait to for permission. He's not sure of the protocol. _I mean technically he's my boss, so how do that work in a situation like this?  
_  
He doesn't need to worry, as Jason soon takes the lead, grabbing at his dirty blonde curls, fisting them tightly in his fingers. Holding Clay's head firmly against his rough, stubbled jaw as he works his tongue passionately in out and out of Clay grasping, needy mouth. Thrusting his powerful tongue down his throat. And for the first time, Clay actually knows what it feels like to be taken and wanted, as Jason's firmness overpowers his senses.  
  
_"Aahhhhh!_" he groans as he relaxes into Jason's grasp, but now he's gonna attempt to return his advances, use some of his own strength and show Jason what he wants.  
  
He leans back looking him in the eyes, then takes the gamble and lurching forward he grabs the back of Jason’s head dragging him on to his lips. Then he kisses him like his life depended on it using all of the power in his arms to hold Jason's face against his and he assaults his senses tasting him.  
"Oh....my god!!" Clay lets go and cries out. His cock hardens to its full potential and he stands up, forcing his perspiration covered chest against Jason’s. He smiles as he feels Jason's large cock stiffens and they grind their groins against each other. Clay beams.  
He's loving the feeling. He's imagined this moment so many times and now it’s happening for real. "Oh my god, Jason I .. I want this so much"

"Woah!" Jason smiles, pushing him back "Slow down there, Goldilocks."  
He sighs looking Clay in the eyes running his hand over his cheek "Clay, I gotta tell ya something. You need to know, we’re not gonna fuck today. Not now I know this is your first time."

"We’re not?" Clay frowns, pulling back shocked by Jason's words "What the hell? But I .. I thought… all this. I mean...I don't understand".  
Clay looks hurt and confused "So why all this if you're not going to fuck me." he frowns "Are you leading me on? Getting my hopes up for nothing? ”he sighs "Jason I'm not into playing games". I'm not some toy to play with" Clay turns away he can't hide his disappointment.

Jason laughs, pulling his head round to look at him "No! No, I’m not leading you on. Oh, we _are _gonna fuck! Just not now, not today" he frowns he can see the hurt in Clay's eyes and it cuts deep in his heart "Clay, you’re not ready"

"What?" Clay frowns "Jason..... of course, I’m ready. I _want _this. Oh my god! Do you know how much I want this? How long I've waited"

"Yeah, yeah I know what you want. But believe me, you’re not ready"  
  
He looks Clay dead in the eyes and gently kisses him again "Clay, when I make love to you I want it to be good for you. I want your first time to be special and I don’t wanna hurt you. That means we have to prepare, take our time. Do it properly, then when the time is right, it will be good for you. That you'll enjoy the experience"  
He kisses him "My first time, I was like you, impatient. I wanted it so,so bad but the guy, he made me wait. Took his time, prepared me, like I'm gonna do with you, and you know what? I'm glad he did, cos it was the best fuckin' time I ever had" he sighs, putting his lips onto Clay's.  
  
Clay resists him now. Angry that he's not getting what he craves for. Jason frowns "Hey c'mon, you trust me right?"

Clay shakes his head frustrated, he sighs, rubbing his head. he looks at Jason the two them, standing here, hot, sweaty, naked and turned on and he just doesn’t understand why Jason is rejecting him  
"Jason, c'mon what's the problem. Is it being here in public? Well, okay then let’s go back to mine. No one will see us there" he sighs "But to say I'm not ready, when I am. Jason, I know what I'm doing, what I want, and you won't hurt me"

Jason keeps watching the needy look in his face, part of him just wants to take him right here right now on this bench. Shove his ass in the air and just pound all of his length into him. But he knows from experience, that he will regret it, and Clay means too much to him to do that.  
So he gets firm in his tone now "No! No, you listen to me. I want this to be right, for you, and trust me, if we do this, here, now then it won’t be what you’re hoping for. It won't be the pleasure that I want to give you.”

Clay sighs as he pulls away from Jason's touch. Looking down at his ridged hard cock that is so turned on that it won't go down, standing so firm that's it's pressing against his taut stomach.  
  
"Oh my god, Jason! Seriously? But you can’t leave me like this I can’ t .. I mean Jeez... how the hell am I supposed to go home like this" He sits down on the bench with his head in his hands, he's so frustrated.

Jason runs his hands through his own sweaty hair. It's hot in here, even for what he’s use to "Clay!" he pulls his chin up "Look at me."  
Clay pulls away and won't look at him. It frustrates Jason and now he's slightly angry at Clay's behaviour "Fine! Be like that. You need to act like a grown up Clay, no pouting when you don't get your own way on the first ask." Jason sighs "For god sake Clay, my job is to take care of you and I can't if you act like this"

Clay notices the displeasure in Jason's tone and now he backs down, worried that Jason is angry with him "I'm sorry. But please Jason, please.." he begs "I want this so much"  
  
Jason runs his hand on Clay's shoulders holding his head in his hands and he assaults his mouth again with his tongue. Clay can’t get enough of him, needily grabbing at his hair, using his strength to pulls him down on the bench on top of him as they continue to kiss. The two powerful, men locked together in a naked and physical embrace.  
  
Clay looks him in the eyes, desperately stroking his face " Please, just make love to me. If you want to take care of me then don’t leave me like this" He smiles "My balls are that hard, that it's like torture!"

Jason smiles "Really?" he puts his hand down and feels them, kneading his solid ball sack "Oh I never said we weren't gonna take care of that. Don't worry" he kisses him " I'm gonna release your tension, just not the way you think"  
He smiles, stroking his hands on his shoulder "But when I take you fully, for the first time, we’re doing it right and that means training. Training, preparing your body and making it ready for me. Because trust me I wanna give you _all_ of me!"

Clay frowns. He’s unsure what he means by _training _and _preparing _but for now he nods in agreement. He trusts Jason, and he can see that it's his feelings he's looking out for.  
" Okay! Alright I'll do it, whatever it takes, and I'll wait. Doesn't mean I like it, but if that's what you want. If that's what it takes to be able to have you fuck me then .... " he sighs "So, what do you want me to do?"

Jason smiles, wiping the sweat from Clay's forehead as he lays face down on top of him on the hot sauna bench. He stares him deep in the eyes "Alright then" he smiles "First...it's time to take care of some of your frustrations. Empty that heavy load you're carrying"

What now?" Clay smiles  
  
Jason nods "Yeah, right now!!"


	5. Come for me

  
**WARNING about to get super HOT HOT HOT!! MATURE M/M stuff   
PLEASE DON’T read if 18+ M/M not your thing. Don’t complain after you are WARNED! **

  
Clay couldn’t be any more excited than he is right now. His dick swollen and his heart beating so fast, with anticipation, that he thinks he might pass out. Jason sits him up on the bench.

“Let’s do this.” he smiles as they kiss again. Slowly their tongues cross between each other’s lips as Jason’s hand make a slow sweep of Clay’s chest. Trailing his fingers over his firm muscles, before giving a quick, hard, tweak of his nipple.

“Oh!!!” Clay gasps. Shocked by the electricity that sparks from his nipple straight into his swollen groin. He never realized there was such a connection between the two until now. _Oh fuck!_ This is happening. It’s really happening! He shakes his head, trying to override the sudden urge that he has to cum. _Oh god! Hold on…get a grip. You don’t wanna disappoint him, not now he’s gonna give you what you want._

Jason stares, watching the look on Clay’s face. His eyes closed, and he can see how desperately he’s trying to keep control. Jason smiles wickedly. He knows there’s not enough control in Clay’s body for Jason not to make him cum. “Lay down on your chest”

“What?” Clay frowns, as he does as he’s told. He can’t say that it’s comfortable, lying on this bench. His swollen-hard cock squashed awkwardly against the hard-wooden slates. If the gaps were just a little wider, than that would have helped ease the pressure, but they’re too small for his cock to fit through. - at least in its current state. _aahhhhh! _He groans.

“You alright?” Jason frowns wondering if that was a sound of pleasure or pain.

Clay nods, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” He tenses as he feels the roughness of Jason’s hand smoothing over his back. Running it down over his sides, around onto his taut stomach. Then with a sudden yank on his abs, Jason has him positioned - head down, ass in the air.  
It’s hot in here and Clay realizes he probably should have had some water. His head slightly giddy, but it’s too late, there is no way he’s going to move from this position for a drink, - not now.

“Put your dick in your hand,” Jason orders Clay gulps nervously. He feels slightly uncomfortable and awkward lying here. Ass in the air and his dick in his hand, his chest tightens, heart beating fast. Part of him wonders if this, what they’re doing, is such a good idea.Jason can feel his nerves and he smooths his hand over his back, over his pert butt cheeks and down his thigh. Then slowly around to the front until his hand is at Clay’s groin. Then he firmly wraps his larger, stronger hand, around Clay’s

“You still want this?” he asks checking that Clay’s comfortable with what they’re about to do “There’s no going back once we do this. So, I want you to be sure this is what you want”

Clay takes a breath. For a moment he hesitates, wondering if Jason will actually do what he said he wouldn’t. But even if he is, it doesn’t matter because Clay wants it all very much. “Yes! Oh, god yes…. I want this so much!” he almost screams the words out, so desperate for whatever Jason wants to do to him.

Jason smiles watching him. Rubbing his other hand over his ass, then making a quick tease, by running his fingers down the crack of his butt. Flicking a quick tease over his hole. Clay tenses, the feeling of Jason’s fingers on his most private of parts.

“Oh god!” he gasps again, FUCK! His imagination runs wild as Jason’s hand tightens around his own. Forcing him to close his fingers tightly around his hard-aching dick. Then Jason pumps his hand back and forward. It feels tight and its slow and Clay can feel his pre-cum already begin to ooze out. Fuck…That feels so good! His body shakes as all the adrenaline pumps through him, most of it focused in his groin area.

  
Jason’s aware of his own hardness, resting it against the small of Clay’s back so Clay can feel it against his skin. The thoughts of it there are turning him on. He shuffles his body, as much as he can with Jason’s weight over him, rubbing his back muscles against it. Jason lets out a muffled groan, then slaps Clay’s ass hard.“Stop that!” he smiles realizing what Clay’s trying to do. Clay stifles a grin “Oh god!” he gasps again as Jason speeds up the hand motions on his dick. Then it stops as Jason removes his hand.

Clay cranes his neck around so he’s facing him “Why are we stopping? ” he frowns frantically questioning him “Jason, please… I..”

Jason gives him a devilish smile, “Keep going, did I tell you to stop? No - I didn’t. Make yourself cum for me, Clay,”

“No! Please… I want you to do it. I- I …. Jason, please,”

Jason laughs, “Oh don’t worry, I will do it. Now just shut up and do as I told you!”

  
Clay once again closes his fingers tightly around his swollen hardness, stroking it with long slow movements. He does it slow because he doesn’t want to cum, he never wants this moment to end. There is no way he’s going to bring himself off quickly, in fact, he’s determined to show Jason he can hold out. That he can control himself, even if he’s not sure that he can. He’s still making long strokes down his length. His balls heaving below the slap of his hand making him moan. “Oh god… I’m gonna cum soon!” he cries.

Jason smiles, “Good. Just keep going, but Clay….. don’t cum yet, cos I got something for you.”

“Oh god!” Clay’s thoughts run wild, he’s not sure what the hell that means, but he braces himself in case it’s what he’s hoping for. “Jason…” he calls as hears the sound of him moving away “Jason, whatever you have planned… I just want you to know, I want it - I wanted to do this.”

Jason smiles, turning to look_. Oh god…. he’s fucking gorgeous!_ he sighs looking at Clay’s toned body leaned on the bench, masturbating himself. It really turns him on. His own dick now stiffens. Not fully, but it would be more than enough for most guys. He’s not going to do anything about it yet, because this isn’t about him, this is about preparing Clay. This is the most exciting part for Jason. He’d already guessed from Clay’s neediness, that he’d probably never been fucked by a guy, before. Sure, he could tell he wanted it, that he fantasized about it, but deep-down Jason knew he was still a virgin.

He’d never had a virgin before, the three guys he’d had sex with were all experienced men. Devon was his first, the one who introduced him to the occasional delights of man sex . The other two had been random hook ups from bars, they were good and one of them Jason saw on more than few occasions. But the difference was that they were nothing serious. He learned to separate this part of his life from his work, and his family.

That’s why this, with Clay, it worried him. He’d never been that close to any of the others, except Devon, maybe. But then that was only because he was his first. Devon was always so caring and thoughtful his first time. He made it special, he took care, not that it didn’t get rough until later. They were both large, strong men and that made for a powerful combination. But Devon had taken his time with Jason that first time and he remembered how pleasurable it was.

And so, he’d come prepared for Clay. No matter how hard it would be for him to hold back he would not give in to the constant begging or his gorgeous body. He would take his time. But turning around, looking at him lying there, how fit he is, how stunningly good looking. Jason sighs, this is gonna be tough! He unrolls the towel on the bench and takes out what he has hidden inside. The bottle of lube and the large black butt toy. Taking the lube first, he squirts it down his fingers and hand.

Then he pumps oil inside the crack of Clay’s ass making him groan in surprise. “Oh god…” Clay holds still as the feeling of warm liquid invades him. He can feel the warm oil seep in and around his hole. “Fuck!” he gasps wondering what’s about to happen, he can’ feel his cock tense in excited anticipation. This is amazing! “What the hell are you doing?” he frowns, turning again to look at Jason behind him.

“Oh…. you like that do you?” Jason smiles hearing his groans, the contorted frown of pleasure on his face.

“Yeah…” he cries breathlessly, “yeah. Please Jason… just do it. Just fuck me. I handle it…I swear I can,”

Jason slaps his ass hard, “NO! No, I told you, we need to prepare. Now hold still and keep pumping that dick.”

Clay frowns disappointed, but he still concentrates on what he’s doing “Can I cum now …. if you’re not gonna fuck me then I need to cum!“”Not just yet. Now focus. Breathe -control it. It won’t be long, I promise. Just enjoy this as much as I’m going to!”  
Clay slows his strokes, it the only way to stop his orgasm. The pre-cum oozes from the end of this over hardened cock and he thinks his ball-sack might explode, if it doesn’t release soon.

  
Jason continues working the lube between his cheeks, working it in, his finger dipping in and around his hole. Then slowly and very gently he inserts his lube covered finger all the way.

“OH …. MY.. God!” Clay breaths hard and fast, panting as the first one enters him. Jason smiles, before slowly inserting the second of his large digits. Clay lets out a long slow moan as Jason catches his finger on his G-spot “Oh…. my God!…Fuck!!!” Clay can’t breathe. He’s never experienced this feeling before and he swears out loud, screaming, “I’m gonna cum…. oh, my …. I can’t … I can’t hold it, now not with you’re doing that!” Jason smiles as Clay squirms back against his touch “aahhhhh ….Fuck!” He’s sweating, and his chest feels like it’s about to explode.

  
Jason has a massive grin on his face as he pumps his fingers in and out of his tight virgin hole “You like that?”

“Oh….oh I…. I never…. that’s …. oh!…..I’m gonna cum!”

“Oh Clay, you’re so tight. I’m just glad we didn’t get straight to it” Jason’s dick swells to full capacity. The feeling of Clay’s ass against his hand, combined with his needy groans, it’s nearly enough to tip him over the edge. “No… no, don’t cum, not yet, I have one more surprise first!”

Clay tenses “I… I can’t…“He grits his teeth desperately trying to hold his orgasm, but it’s getting impossible now.

  
Jason can feel it and quickly withdraws his fingers, it helps slow his fire. He parts his ass cheeks, pumping more of the lube between them and smearing it into his aching hole. Then taking the large black rubber-toy, he holds it against Clay’s love ring.

Clay can feel it and he falters at the feeling, looking round to see, “What are you doing?…What’s that?” he gasps, frowning slightly, concerned “What is that? Jason, what are you going to do?”

Jason smiles, “Relax, it’s a toy. Part of your training. But you need to relax so it doesn’t hurt.” He pulls at Clay’s stomach arching his ass higher “Keep yourself up and open for me.”

Clay gulps as he looks at the size of it. He’s apprehensive and frowns, “Jason I don’t think I can take that!”

“Yes, you can… now just relax. You told me you could take me…” he laughs ” this is nothing. Not keep still and concentrate.” He runs his hand slowly over Clay’s ass cheeks, parting him wide, “Ready?”

Clay nods, “I guess…” he gasps again, bracing himself for what’s about to happen.

“Good. Now cum for me, Clay. Cum baby boy!”

  
Clay sighs and strokes harder and the first rush of orgasm shoots through to the end of his hard cock. He tenses and swells to his largest as the stream of hot white cream shoots across the towel in front of him. “OH,……GEEZZZ!!!!” He’s never had an orgasm like it, and he’s wrung out. He just wants to crash to the bench. Jason has hold of his stomach as he supports him not allowing him to collapse down. And as he feels him cum he pushes the butt toy firmly inside.

At first it meets with resistance at the entrance to his tight, hole and he quickly adds more lube. Then pushing more firmly he gets it in, then with a quiet pop, holding it there for a moment he pushes it all the way in. “Oh….good boy!” Jason smiles looking at him positioned like that.

“Ahhh…..” Clay moans - the toy filling his ass. He has to admit it’s more than he expected.

“Shhh!” Jason soothes him, rubbing his back, running his hand over his butt “How does that feel? Feels good, right? ” Jason closes his eyes; he has to concentrate on holding back his own orgasm. Doing that to Clay has pushed him to the edge and his pre-cum leaks out onto Clay’s ass cheeks, mixing with the lube as Jason grinds his groin against him. “Fuck…” Jason groans “You’re so fucking sexy. Looking at you like this… ”

  
Clay smiles, savoring Jason’s words. He takes a moment then he nods thinking about it. That actually does feel good! He sighs again, relieved as Jason sits him up. It’s an odd feeling, having the toy in his ass, but not unpleasant - just different.

Jason takes him up in his arms, kissing him, running his hands over Clay’s sweaty chest. Clay can’t get enough of his mouth as he sits across his lap kissing him. He’s now aware of Jason’s hard dick, it’s standing proud between them and he can now see it close up in all its full glory. He smiles looking Jason straight in the eyes, kissing and touching his body. Then wrapping his hand around Jason’s cock, he pulls and tugs at it. Jason leans back on his elbows, resting on the bench above as Clay slides off his lap on to the floor.  
Jason parts his legs as Clay sits resting on his heels. It’s an odd feeling, the toy still embedded deep in his ass and him kneeling between Jason’s legs. He looks up and then Jason’s strong hand comes around the back of his head, pulling him forward.

  
Jason frowns, watching him. “I get the impression this won’t be the first blow job, you’ve given a guy. Have you done this before?”

Clay nods slowly “Once…” he sighs “when I was in Green-Team, with Brian. We were drunk and…. I don’t really remember much, just that… I enjoyed doing it and… Brian said, after, that I was great at it!” he smiles at Jason.

“You wanna do it for me?”

“Hell yeah….” he nods, a big smile on his face, willing to please “Oh yes … ”

Clay doesn’t need asking again. Greedily putting his mouth around his cock, sucking hard. Jason takes a sharp intake of breath leaning back, pushing his hips forward, as Clay’s head bobs between his legs aahhhhh …. Clay!!! FUCK!!!… fuck that is good!”  
Clay keeps his rhythm, his eyes looking up, watching the expression of ecstasy on Jason’s face. The pre-cum taste of Jason’s hot sex fills his mouth. He loves the tastes and savors it. As he moves back and forward throat-fucking Jason, he becomes aware of the feeling of the toy in his ass. He groans as he sucks.

Jason so close to peak now. Roughly he grabs at Clay’s dirty curls, holding his head as he forces his stiffness deep into the back of his throat. For a moment, Clay thinks he might gag, but he gets some control and slow the pace as he feels Jason’s body tense

“FUCK!!!…Oh, Clay don’t fuckin’ stop!!” He pulls at his head holding it tight as he unloads his hot warmth down the back of his throat.

  
Clay’s mouth fills and he hungrily and obligingly swallows it down. Jason relaxes and Clay sits back, wiping Jason from his chin. He smiles seeing what he did, as Jason looks at him.   


Leaning forward holding his head in his hands looking him in the eyes “Damn!” he smiles “Brian was right….you’re damn good at that.”

Clay smiles, pleased about what he’s done. Pleased he could make Jason cum. The whole thing is turning Clay on again and his dick stiffens, Jason notices. “Well there’s something about being young - all this stamina!” he laughs “Never had anyone so keen”

  
Clay looks away embarrassed, his cock fills again, hard and obvious. Jason watches as sits on the bench wiping himself with the towel, cleaning up. He pulls at Clay’s neck, forcing his head back for a kiss. Clay puts his hand round to his butt; he can feel the greasy residue of the lube on his ass cheeks “And what about this?” He frowns as Jason pulls him back to sit on his lap.

  
Jason fondles the pull ring on the toy and he smiles, enjoying watching Clay tense, worried he might pull it out. He does a little, but then he stops and pushes it back in making Clay squirms at the sensation. “Leave it in overnight!” he smiles “But you remove it before we go on the mission tomorrow.” He looks Clay deep in the eyes, “I have a bigger one for you when we get back. I think we can step training up faster,” he smiles at the excited look in Clay’s face. “But Clay, this, what we do here, what we do in the bedroom. It has nothing to with our jobs. They are two separate things and we keep them that way. You learn that we can’t cross that line. Do you understand me?”

Clay nods, “Yeah sure… I understand”

“Clay, I mean it. When we’re at work, there are no looks, no touches, no flirting and no toys! And no matter how hard I am on you, no amount of orders, you don’t pout about it. Do you understand me?” Clay nods “Promise me, Clay,”

“I promise.” Clay leans in and kisses him.

“This…” Jason pulls gently on the plug ring, making Clay tense again “… this is prep, making you ready for me. But you must take it out before work. No matter how you feel, what you want, you don’t leave it in at work. We do nothing to give ourselves away. You cross me Clay, break the rules and this, us - it stops. Do you understand?” he stares him hard in the eyes “If you really want me to fuck you, then you have to play by my rules.”

Clay nods, “Yeah! Yeah, I understand, and I promise I’ll take it out before the mission,” They kiss again “I would never, do anything to jeopardize this. I’ve wanted it for so long, to lose it now.” He runs his hand through Jason’s hair, pulling his mouth back to his as they tongue each other, kissing so hard.

  
Jason pulls his head by his hair, before roughly kissing his neck, trailing small bites down his chest, then biting his nipple hard. ahhhh! Clay moans. Jason smiles then he sighs, checking his watch “Come on, we need to get cleaned up. We have to to go!”


	6. Clay go home

Clay groans again, fidgeting from side to side in his chair. Even though he’s only wearing a light tactical vest, T-shirt and combats he feels really hot. Rubbing the sweat from his forehead he squirms again.   
  
He looks up and around the room, realising he hasn’t taken in a single word of the mission briefing, mainly because he’s been concentrating, too much, on looking at Jason, and thinking about their time together yesterday.   
  
He can’t take his eyes off him, how powerful, strong, and sexy he looks, stood there wearing his load out vest and sticking his ass out every time he leans over the map on the desk that he, Ray and Trent are using as part of their planning. Every time Jason catches his glance he can feel himself smiling.

He shifts again, he’s so uncomfortable in the position he’s sitting. In fact, he realises he’s not comfortable in any position that he tries to sit.   
Actually he's not totally comfortable with any of this, he feels like everything has lurched forward out of control, too fast, and now he can’t even behave properly or do his job because when Jason’s anywhere near him, he acts like a hyperactive puppy.   
_  
Clay, you’re being ridiculous! _He sighs, continuing to shuffle around, overwhelmingly conscious of the toy he still has inside. He smiles, remembering how Jason positioned it there, for him, and the reasons why. What the end result of all this discomfort is going to be.   
He smiles at those thoughts but now another pang of guilt comes over him. The same set of feelings he had this morning as he prepared for work, when he decided that despite what Jason told him to do, and that he promised him he _would _do, he decided in the end not to remove it.   
  
He knows he promised to take it out before the mission. That he told Jason he wouldn’t let yesterday cross into their work world. He knows what Jason said about breaking those rules, and the consequences, but despite that Clay couldn’t resist.   
All he knows is he wants to be ready for the moment they get back and Jason gives in to what he wants. Them to fuck.   
It was thinking about that, and the fact, that he likes the feeling of having the toy inside him, the feeling it gives every now and again when it rubs directly against his G spot.   
  
_Hmm! _ he groans to himself. _Oh yeah, right there!_ He closes his eyes, enjoying the experience. It sends tingles right through his body and he admits that he's enjoying it a little too much. Last night he even came without even touching himself.   
And as he watches Jason, walking around, his arms folded, giving orders it turns him on even more. His cock stiffens in his pants, so much so, that it aches. and throbs painfully now. Like its too much _Oh… god! Mmmm_ he groans again.  
His hard on won’t go down and he shifts around trying to loosen his pants, without anyone noticing him. This time his sighing is louder than he thought, and Jason looks up at him, and frowns. He takes a deep breath and gulps  
_Oh shit!_ he tries to avert his gaze, but he can’t, Jason just keeps staring at him and he feels really awkward.

“You got something to add there? To this plan, Spenser?” Jason growls at him

“Um..” Clay coughs “Um.. No! I.. um.. err..no!” he sighs, shaking his head, apologetically smiling. But right there in that look Jason gives him, he knows something is wrong. He knows Jason is not happy with him.

“What the hell’s wrong with you Clay?” Sonny frowns at him “You’ve hardly said a word, even when spoken to. And you’ve been damn well fidgeting, in that seat, ever since we sat down. You got fire ants in your shorts or somethin’?” he frowns again. Everyone looks up and stares over at him “You ill or somethin ?”

The color drops from Clay’s face as everyone, including Jason, keeps on staring   
“Hey Clay, is Sonny right?” Jason asks, “You sick?”

“Um..” he starts to sweat with panic, feeling lightheaded. His hard on is aching so badly now, that he just wants some relief from it. Jason was right he never should have done this at work. Never left that toy in place. Everything is hurting like hell and he’s having trouble trying to cover his feelings. His balls groan constantly under the strain, and every time the toy moves, he thinks of the sauna. He closes his eyes not daring to look at Jason. Hoping that these feelings will soon subside.

“Clay!” Jason shouts him “ I said, are you sick?”  
  
Sonny looks over “Gotta say, you do look little green round the gills there, buddy. You running a temperature? Maybe Trent should have a look at you ‘fore we go?”

“Um..No!” Clay stutters “Actually, you know, now you say it I do feel a little unwell. I think I might’ve eaten somethin’ that didn’t agree with me. You know what, I’m just gonna use the bathroom. I’ll catch up to speed when I get back!”   
  
Jason glares at him, the look on his face says it all. But, even that glare is looking seriously sexy to Clay as he makes his excuses and stands up.  
As he does he has to try and hide the large bulge in the front of khakis _Oh hell!_ he sighs, as again he breaks out in a sweat.   
  
“Trent go with him, see he’s alright!” Jason frowns

“NO! No, I – I just need the bathroom, I’ll be fine. I’ll come get ya, if I need ya” With that he leaves his seat and head down the corridor to the men’s room.  
“Oh…god!” he struggles to walk without wanting to pull at the crotch of his pants.   
  
He head inside the end stall. Slamming the door shut behind him, he leans against the back of it. Then hurriedly unzips the fly on his pants and pulls his shorts down. “Ahhh!” he sighs in relief as his hard cock spring out, in all its full, glory.   
“ Oh god!! Mmm!” he gasps as he leans his head on the back of the door _I sure as hell can’t get deployed like this. I gotta get rid of this feeling.  
_  
With that he opens the lid to the pan and leans over it. He can feel the toy flinch in his butt, pushing once again on his G spot, and that makes his cock pulse a wave of pleasure shoots through the whole of his body, he feels like he’s on fire.   
"Oh hell!" he sighs as images of Jason, naked on that massage couch yesterday, keep flashing in his head. He feels like he’s obsessed, unable to concentrate on anything else.   
  
Leaning, one hand pressed on the wall behind the cistern, for support, he wraps the other around his raging hard on. Then starting with long slow strokes, he starts to masturbate.   
  
He feels so bad, angry with himself, embarrassed about how degrading this actually feels, that he’s stood here, in the men’s room, doing this . _This was stupid Clay. Jason told you_ _not to cross boundaries. As always you knew better. Now look at you. Pathetic._  
  
He starts to relax, now enjoying the feeling, thinking about yesterday’s session, the imagine of Jason's stiff cock, being massaged by Devon. Those pictures are burned in his brain, he can feel as he tenses that he’s about to cum, “Oh god!” he moans quietly.   
As the tension builds, he pulls as his hardness with faster, more intense strokes, his foreskin moving back and over the tip.   
He straightens himself, ready to let go and as he does the toy rests right on his prostate, “Oh fuck!!” he grits his teeth, unable to breath, right on the edge of his orgasm. He closes his eyes fantasising, that like yesterday, it’s Jason doing this.

“CLAY! You in there, buddy? “ Sonny bangs hard on the door.

_Shit, Sonny!_ He panics not sure what to do “What the hell do you want Sonny?” he’s breathless, just about to cum “I’m fine…. “ _aahhhhh!_ He quietly moans “Can’t a guy get any privacy round here? Go away!”

“Jason asked me come see if you okay? He said you looked a little off color, and did you wanna sit this one out?”

“No! No, I’m fine.” He’s having difficulty trying to keep the pace of his strokes now, trying desperately to make Sonny leave “I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute… then I’ll be there! ” _  
arghhh _he groans under his breath.

“Clay?” Sonny frowns, as he knocks the door again “ Clay, you okay? You sound a little off, is something wrong? Clay ansa me”  
  
Clay struggles with his words, trying to breath “ No…” he grits his teeth forcing his words out “No, I’m good just leave me alone. I just a need a minute” _arghhh_ he sighs again as quietly as he can.

“Clay!” Sonny bangs hard again “Gotta say, you don’t sound okay. I’m gonna get Trent.”

“NO! Please, it’s okay. Sonny, please you get Trent and Jason will drop me from the mission”  
He closes his eyes he’s right on the verge now and he needs Sonny to leave because he won't be able to hold back “Just go away, will you! I just want some privacy. I’m fine, I promise. Just something I ate that’s all!”   
He feels so embarrassed, trying to find excuses for what he’s actually doing, which feels even more humiliating.

That’s it he can’t hold it and he cums hard. Clamping his teeth together so that he doesn't moan out loud like he wants to as the white, warm stream oozes from his cock  
“Ahhh!” he smiles with relief, leaning his head on the hand that’s holding him up against the wall. “Oh god!” he sighs closing his eyes. _That feels so much better_

“Alright, I’m gone, but you want anything, then I’m just down the corridor, you got me?”

“Yeah! Yeah, Sonny thanks. I’ll be with you, just give me a moment to get cleaned up” He sighs with relief as Sonny closes the outer door.   
Wiping the tension sweat from his forehead , leaning himself on the wall behind. The extreme pressure in his balls is gone, but he can already feel the toy is starting to stimulate him again, so he does what Jason told him to do, and he removes it.  
  
Wrapping it in tissue, he’s going to have to bin it. “I’ll get another, when I get back, bigger. I’ll do this, I just won’t tell Jason”   
He so worried, knowing if Jason does find out, about any of this, he won’t be pleased. Not after all the warnings he gave him, and the promises Clay made.   
  
Clay relaxes cleaning himself up, flushing the toilet, ridding any evidence of what just occurred.  
He feels much happier now, more relieved. Less tense and more relaxed.  
  
He opens the door to the stall and as he does he stops dead in his tracks. Slowly looking up to find Jason staring him right in the eyes.

“Jason!” he takes a sharp intake of breath, tightening his fingers around the tissue covered toy in the palm of his hand “Oh… um.. did… did Sonny tell you, I’m alright now?”   
He stutters and smiles awkwardly “ Just something I ate; you know how it is!” he laughs trying to break the tension he can feel between them.

“Couldn’t do as I told you, could you?” he frowns. The look on his face full of rage. For a moment he seems very tall, very big and Clay feels very small and vulnerable.

“Um… what? No, everything’s fine. I’m good I swear! I did everything you said” he smiles apprehensively trying to act relaxed, but his insides are completely knotted with worry.

“What, give you a hard on did it? That in your ass and staring at me, having your fantasies?” Clay can't believe how angry Jason is now.

“Um… What are you talking about?” he frowns “Why are you being so aggressive. I told you…”  
He sighs, realising Jason’s not buying his story “Look, I’m sorry alright, I should have .. .I mean I shouldn’t have done it. I should have done what you said” He puts his hand on Jason’s chest, but Jason pulls sharply away   
  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Get your hands the hell off me! Where the hell do you think you are?"  
  
“Jason, please….I just… I just, wanted to be ready, for when we get back” he looks around checking there’s definitely no one else in the washroom “ Jace….You know what I want. That I just wanna be ready so we can…so we can fuck. That’s all it was. I am sorry.” he frowns

Jason puts his foot against the outer door, worried someone might walk in and the consequences of that . Then he grabs Clay by the vest, slamming him against the wooden frame of the stalls “Shut the fuck up! What did I tell you? About crossing lines. About what happened yesterday, and what happens today”   
  
Jason’s face is fuming as he slams him back again. Harder this time “Fuck, Clay! I told you, if _any_ of this gets out, that’s it, both of our careers are over!” he sighs letting go of Clay. He straightens himself, he’s so angry “ Dammit Clay, I thought I made that clear yesterday. I told you! No looks, no games and _NO _toys! For this very reason”   
  
He stares him in the eyes “Now, get rid of that” he nods to the tissue concealed in Clay’s hand “Get yourself cleaned up, and go home!” he sighs “I’m so disappointed Clay. This really hurts. I thought you wanted this, wanted me?” He sighs again, it hurts him, seeing the emotion filling Clay’s eyes as he shouts at him but he can’t help it.   
What Clay's done, what he's risked, the gamble he took it has filled him with a seething rage that he can't control “Damn you! We …we could have been so good together. Do you know how much… how much…” he hushes his voice, looking Clay deep in the eyes “I really wanted to fuck you?” he shakes his head, wiping his hand over his stubble.  
  
Clay can see the disappointment in his eyes, the hurt in his face. The fact that_ he _didn’t do what he promised. He swallows the lump of emotion from his throat “Wait, Jason! What the hell are you sayin’, go home? What does that mean? What about the mission?” Clay frowns “We’re getting spun up.”

“You’re sitting this one out. I don’t want you out there with me. The way I feel about you, right now, I can’t be around you. Not without giving something away.”

Clay can feel the sting of hot tears in his eyes and he tries to get a grip “What?!” he sighs “ But .. but you can’t? Jason, I’m so sorry. I know … I know, I messed up, but it won’t happen again. I promise. I really promise. Jason please" he begs

Jason shakes his head again “Too late. I warned you.“ he sighs looking directly into Clay’s, cowering face “ I warned you that work is no go! I told you, those two worlds they can’t cross over, they can’t. I won’t risk my career for you, especially if I can’t trust you” he sighs “Now get rid of that, and go home, like I said”

“I don’t wanna go home.” Clay frowns “ We’re being spun up and I’m fine. Jason, I can cope with this.”

“_We’re_ being spun up. You’re not! You’re going home. I told you, you’re sitting this one out, I don’t want to be near you.”.

“NO! No, Jason please, I’m begging you.” a tear leaks from Clay’s eye, he’s so confused “You can’t do this to me, treat me like this, not after yesterday. What we did. You want this, you want me I know you do.”

“You just forget about yesterday. That doesn’t exist. I told you, you need to learn control. When and where Clay. But you can’t do it. You haven’t got what it takes to have a relationship with me. You’re too weak. Too needy. Too impatient for it. That's dangerous" he sighs " I’m sorry Clay, but you only have one person to blame. You did this”   
  
Jason can see the sadness in Clay’s eyes and it burns him. It hurts that he’s so angry with him, when all he really wants to do, is wrap him in his arms, and tell him he wants him, but he can’t.  
  
“One thing I specifically told you to do. Take that toy out before the mission” he frowns “ but no, no thought you knew better, you thought you had control over how you felt. That you could control this situation. I thought you had it in you to do what it takes, to have this kind of relationship. I tried to look out for you, so this didn’t happen. I knew I should never have let that happen yesterday”  
He runs hand through his hair sighing “What the hell would you have done if Sonny or.. or Ray, had guessed what was going on? Hmm, then what? What do you think they would think, or do?”

“They wouldn’t …they wouldn’t know. How would they know?”  
  
“You can’t be sure of that. For god sake Clay, you know what Ray’s like, he picks up on everything. Every detail, analysis, break it down, till he works out whats going on. I can’t have that. I can’t have _him _questioning things. No, you go home, you’re no use to me”

“What?” Clay lets out a huge sigh, realising its futile to beg anymore. Jason’s mind is made up there’s no changing it.   
  
Jason opens the door to the washroom, looking back at the forlorn and dejected man in front of him. Studying him “You really don’t know how disappointed I am. How much I wanted that.”

As he walks out Clay wants to cry. His heart’s hurting, eyes welling with hot tears. “No, Jason….” he whimpers behind him.

AS the door closes, Clay breathes in deeply, trying to get a grip on his feelings, looking himself in the mirror. He straightens his tac vest, stands up straight . Puts the tissue wrapped toy in the bin.

Then looking back in the mirror, at the camouflage covering his body he stares hard at the man looking back at him “I’m sorry!” he sighs again, taking a deep breath “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll find a way to put this right. I’ll make him want you again.”   
A tear leaks down his cheek and he brushes it off “Shit!!! Get a grip Clay.”

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Jason charges full steam, down the corridor. He’s fuming as Sonny stops him “He alright?” he frowns “Clay I mean, is he okay now?”

“Yeah, um…seems like he got a dodgy gut. He’s gonna be sittin’ this one out”

“What? Why?” Sonny’s head wrinkles in surprise “But he said he was alright, when I spoke to him. What happened?”

“Nothing happened. Sonny, he’s just not up to it today”

They both look over as Clay quietly closes the washroom door. Sonny frowns as Clay sheepishly comes out “Hey buddy, you alright? Jay says you’re sick?” Sonny frowns again “Maybe Trent should take a look at you?”

“No!” Jason interrupts “He can report to the sick bay, let them look him over, then he go home. We don’t have time to wait. We’re wheels up in 30mics”

Clay swallows hard “Jason.. please. I’ll be okay now”

Jason grinds his teeth; he’s getting angry again at him questioning his orders “What did I just say? I said…. get to the sick bay, then go home. God Dammit, can’t you follow one single order? I’m sick of the sight of you Clay, now go!”

“What? Jason hold on there.” Sonny frowns putting his arm out, holding Jason back as he steps forwards in Clay’s direction “Woah there.... you can’t speak to him like that. What the hell did he do?”  
Sonny frowns again, looking between the pair of them “What the hell? Jace what’s got into you man? He doesn't deserve that, he can’t help it if he’s sick”   
He can see the forlorn look on Clay’s face which he assumes is about being stood down “Jason, what the hell is your problem?"

“I don’t like being lied to Sonny. Simple as.”

“Lied to?” Sonny frowns looking at Clay “Lied to about what?”

Jason takes a breath “He should have told me, before the briefing, that he was sick. I gotta change all our plans now. It’s not good enough, Clay. It’s not how I run my team”

Sonny frowns again he’s not sure why Jason’s getting so steamed, but then this is Jason does anyone ever know what goes on inside him .  
  
He strides away leaving Sonny and Clay alone. Sonny looks at him awkwardly “ Well you sure pissed him off” he laughs “What they hell did you say to him?”

“I don’t know” he shrugs “I guess when he said I wasn’t fit for the mission and I told him I was. Guess cos I argued with him. Questioned him.”

Sonny nods “Yeah, well if I was you, the mood he’s in, I’d just do as I was told, and go home. Last thing you want is to upset him anymore” Sonny sighs “Clay he’ll calm down. Give him a few days away, get this mission over and he’ll be like a new man” Sonny smiles

“Yeah” Clay nods “I’m sure you’re right, at least I hope so"

“C’mon buddy, get yourself over to medical, then get home. You’ll feel better in a few days. Drink plenty of fluids, clear it out.” He smiles “Then you’ll be back on the team in no time” Sonny pats him on the shoulder, it’s a a big firm, strong manly pat, except it doesn’t feel the same, the same as when Jason does it that. When Jason touches him, is pure electricity.

“Yeah you’re right Sonny. I just need to go home. Sort myself out”

“You know I'm always right" he smiles "Look, I get back, we’ll catch up. Go for some beers, hang out, maybe even find us some women” he smiles “It’s been too long”

“Yeah, yeah sure. That be good." he hesitates looking at him " Sonny…can I ask you..... Oh, it doesn’t matter. You better get going. Don’t wanna get on Jason’s bad side.” He laughs

“Sure as hell don’t. You pissed him off enough already. I got six hours of that on tin box in the sky, anything can happen" he laughs " Alright, catch you laters, buddy” they fist bump and Sonny walks away.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Dejected after the medical passed him fit, but told him to go home on Master Chiefs orders.   
Clay heads to his cage to get his belongings. The guys gear is all gone, and it’s all quiet.

Clay hovers for a moment by Jason’s cage, staring at his stuff that's strewn on the floor. He looks around then enters picking up one of his T shirts, he holds it tight, sniffing it. Jason’s scent is all over it. He carries it to his cage and stuffs it in his back sack.   
  
Then he gets undressed. Changing back into his civilian clothes. The tight grey T shirt and jeans he picked out this morning, all with Jason in mind. He thought if he wore his tight jeans, and Jason saw him in them, that it would make him want him more. Get him to what he wanted to do quicker. But now look at how it’s turned out.  
And all because he couldn’t do as he was told. He couldn’t keep the sex out of his work life. And now he wondered if he would ever get Jason in bed.

“But I will. I'll show him. I'll prove myself, whatever it takes to get Jason in my bed, I will do it.”


	7. 'Secrets'

Clay ambles along carrying the groceries under his arm, and a latte in his hand. Balancing the cup on the roof he takes his truck keys from his pocket and unlocks the door, before placing the bag on the passenger seat. Drinking the last of his coffee he checks his cell phone opening the new text he's just received from Sonny.

Hey Goldilocks. Hope you good.   
Op went to shit.   
Everyone okay though.  
Looking forward to beers, and ladies tonight.  
Pick you up laters

He sighs. Reading it he’s concerned as to what 'Op went to shit' means but relived that they’re all back safely. _Hmmm! Maybe Sonny is right, maybe I need some beer and find a woman. Maybe, that would solve all my frustrations._   
  
All this downtime, sitting around in the apartment, the constant thinking about Jason, it certainly wasn’t doing him any good. He hadn’t slept at all since they left, just tossing and turning, unable to stop himself thinking about what happened with Jason. What he did and what he _should _have done. One minute feeling sorry for himself, and the next angry. _How dare Jason treat me like that?_  
  
He sighs, finishing the last of the coffee, before throwing the empty cup on the seat with the groceries and slamming the door shut.   
  
As he walks around the front of the truck, to the driver’s side, his attention is distracted by the small store dead ahead of him across the street.   
  
‘Secrets” He reads the name that’s written in dark purple writing across the top of the blackened-out windows as he continues to stare at it, his brain ticking over while he thinks.   
  
Then, pressing the locks shut on the truck, he crosses the street towards it. Nervously, staring at his own reflection in the large darkened glass, he makes the decision to go in.   
He sighs, cautiously checking up and down the street, letting the few people that are on the sidewalk, pass by before he puts his hand on the door and pushes it open.  
  
His heart is beating so fast right now that it feels like it might burst from his chest. He anxiously bites his lip, wondering whether to go back, get in his truck and drive home. But as he steps over the threshold to the alien world inside, he takes a deep breath as he's confronted by the floor to ceiling array, of sex toys and paraphernalia.  
  
Oh god! he sighs. Clay,_ What the hell are you doing in here? This is not you. Just get out. What would people think if they saw you? You’re a Navy Seal, not this. Just get a grip man! _He berates himself for even thinking of doing this.   
  
He has a real sense of panic as he quickly checks around, to make sure no one has seen him come in. Closing his eyes, he takes a breath he decides he’s going to leave.   
  
But just as he puts his hand on the door, a voice from behind him stops him where he is   
“Honey, can I help you?”   
  
He turns, and the very first thing that he notices, is the big beaming smile that greets him.   
It belongs to a very tall, very tanned, guy, wearing cut off tee and shorts. He’s standing not two feet away from him and Clay stares, unable to take his eyes of his body, which is covered in tattoos and piercings. The other thing Clay, reluctantly, notices, is how good looking this guy is.   
  
“Honey, did you need something, or you just looking?” he smiles again

“Um…” Clay stutters, really unsure as to why he even came in here “No! um… you know, sorry, I think I’m in the wrong place.” He frowns swallowing nervously “Actually, I’m fine thanks. I’m just leaving.”

“Are you sure?" the smiles turns to a frown " Cos, you know, if you’re looking for _something,_ perhaps I can help”

The guy has such a nice smile that Clay hesitates “Oh um.. no. No, I’m not into that sort of thing. Sorry” he smiles

“Okay…sure. If you say so.” the guy still frowns at Clay. As he partially opens the door to leave, he calls him again. “Honey wait a minute. Were you looking for a particular item?”   
He’s stands staring at Clay, his uncomfortable nervousness obviously on display. He now chooses his words more cautiously “Something for your _....girlfriend_ maybe?”

Clay halts where he is at the door, turning to face him. Then taking another deep breath, his heart pounding hard in his chest he answers “Um… I’m not sure” he frowns   
  
“You’re not sure? Okay. Well let's start with an introduction. I’m Marcus ” He puts his hand out to shake as Clay just stands there nodding anxiously “So what do I call you, or are you just the strong, silent type?”

Clay smiles “Um.. I’m just leaving.”

Marcus laughs “Well, pleased to meet you. Mr_ I’m just leaving_”

Clay laughs. The tension he was feeling subsides “Sorry. I mean it’s Clay. My name, is Clay”   
  
“Pleased to meet you Clay. Now, what can I do for you?”

They both look around to the back of the store as they hear a loud crashing, and the sound of things falling from shelves “Oh for god sake!" Marcus sighs loudly "Dammit Jake!! What the hell did I tell you? Leave… that stuff alone!”  
  
He sighs again, running his hand over his head “Sorry Clay, I will be right back, just excuse me a moment. Feel free to have a good look around. I just need to stop him breaking things”   
  
He smiles, putting his hand reassuringly on Clay’s arm. It calms his nerves, making him feel, slightly, less uncomfortable, though he still feels like it was big mistake, being here in the store.   
  
But, as Marcus puts him slightly at ease, he decides he will stay and browse, fascinated by all the things on display. And picking up some of the weird and wonderful items on the shelf he subconsciously searches for the thing he actually had in mind when he came in here.

“So sorry about that” Marcus is back, standing beside him. He smiles his beaming grin as he looks at Clay “Jake, just can’t help touching things. I have to tell him the same thing over and over, everyday.” He smiles, still aware of how nervous Clay is. “So, this your first time?”

Clay takes a sharp breath. Horrified by the question he wonders how he can tell something like that “Oh um .. no!” he frowns “No, I told you, I don’t…. I mean…no! I’m not ...I'm not here for that. I-I....I like girls!” he blurts out, unsure as to why. Then closes his eyes in embarrassment.

“Oh honey…as much as that is a real shame.” Marcus laughs “All I meant was, is this your first time in the store?” He smiles, pitying Clay but finding his nerves rather cute.  
“Okay, tell you what…. let’s start nice and simple. So, what kind of things does your _....girlfriend_, like to do? I mean is it straight up vanilla or … maybe a little more _experimental_ or…. are you looking to try something new, maybe?” He frowns watching the blank stare on Clay's face "Maybe you're looking to try .._anal_?”

“Um…” Clay nervously nods “Yeah… Yeah…. maybe that, perhaps. I don't know.”

“Okay” Marcus smiles “So there we go. Now we know what we’re looking for. Come with me”

Clay’s unsure why, but Marcus’s personality makes him relax, and he lets out the breath he’s was holding, as his heart slows. “Right….” Marcus points to the array of toys on the shelf “So is this is your first… experience?” he gently questions him

“Mm hmm” Clay anxiously nods again

Marcus smiles “Oh honey, don’t be embarrassed. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. So, relax. We’ll find you just what you need.So don't be shy”

Clay still can’t speak, and he just keeps nodding. Despite what Marcus says this is just not something he does, and he still feels so embarrassed. A red blush filling his cheeks.

Marcus keeps smiling, searching through the boxes on the shelf.  
He looks Clay up and down, thinking just how good looking he is. “Look sweetie, I wanna help you here, cos you seem like a nice guy. I mean, you’re definitely good looking, so they must be queuing up for your attention” he smiles  
“So, this _person_, that’s the reason you came in here, today. They're special to you, right?”   
  
Clay nods “Um… I guess.”  
  
“Okay. So, you’re looking for something _special_, that… _they_ might like?”

Clay nods “mm hmm… I guess” he sighs thinking about how special what he and Jason did was. And Marcus is right he is the, only, reason he’s in here right now.

“You guess?” Marcus laughs at Clay’s short, nervous, replies “Okay, look… why don’t I let you have a browse for a minute, by yourself. Then I’ll come back and help you narrow it down.”

“Oh um.. I’m not sure I need to buy anything. I mean, these….” He smiles as he points at the toys “I mean… Oh… I don’t want you to think that I’m…” he stammers, frowning awkwardly.

“Honey relax” Marcus smiles “I don’t think anything” He puts his hand on Clay’s shoulder “I’m not here to judge you.” As he grins, all Clay can think is how perfectly white his teeth are, and finally he relents and smiles back.

“That’s better.” Marcus grabs his chin in his hand looking him directly in the face “You know, you have a lovely smile. You should do it more often. Now… you take your time. I’m just over there.”  
  
He hushes his voice, frowning “George, needs some of my attention right now. We um… we had an argument last night, so I have a lot of making up to do.”

“Yeah! “ Clay sighs as he smiles “Yeah, I know that feeling ”

“Oh! So….” Marcus smiles “this is a _make up_ present? I see. Well you have a look, and I’ll come back in a moment. ”

Clay bites his lip and nod’s   
  
“Take as much time as you like, there’s no hurry. You can’t rush these things.” He looks Clay in the eyes, he can feel the conflict going on inside him.

Clay watches as Marcus goes to the counter. He sees him kiss and embrace the other guy, George. A taller guy with skinny jeans and grey T shirt. Clay watches him circle his arms around is neck, then give him a long slow kiss. Clay smiles as he imagines doing that to Jason.

His attention is distracted as his phone vibrates again. He smiles, with relief as he look at the text on it _Sonny! _He’s letting Clay know that they’re back at the base now.   
Two days they’ve been gone and it feels just so much longer.

Clay sighs, as he looks up at the shelves, browsing the toys on display, picking them up one at a time then putting them back. “Shit!” He frowns “Really, what the hell am I doing here? This is not me. I mean I don’t do this” he sighs again as the large, blue toy at the back catches his attention.

Marcus watches him, the struggle and dilemma he can see in his face as he moves the things around on the display. He smiles at George “You know, he’s trying to find something for his new partner”

George looks around smiling, as he now also watches Clay “Mmm! Where’d he come from? He’s a very good-looking guy” He frowns still looking “He straight or gay?”

“Hmmm, you know I’m not totally sure. I do think he’s got a bit of a conflict going on though. But.. err… I have a feeling, that the reason he’s here today, it's for a guy.”

George looks back again “You think it’s his first time?”

“What in here, or sex?” Marcus laughs

“Is there a difference?” George smiles, kissing Marcus again “No! But whoever he’s buying for, he’s smitten, because... for him to come in here today, was a big deal, you can tell it's just so out of his comfort zone. You know I would swear he was straight, but someone, has definitely gotten his attention”

“You gonna help him?” George frowns as they both watch him still aimlessly looking around. They can feel his awkward comfortableness “He looks a little overwhelmed there.”

“Yeah” Marcus smiles “Yeah I guess I should” they kiss “I’ll be right back, baby!”

“So Clay, how are you getting on? Found anything you like?” he smiles as Clay nervously drops the blue boxed toy.

“Shit! Umm .. you know, I should go. I really I don’t need anything, I mean this is really not for me”

“So…you not interested in one of these then?” He picks up a large vibrator from the shelf “_She_, wouldn’t like this? No.”

“Um.. No! Um… “ Clay feels so uncomfortable. His can feel his palms sweating and he wipes them on the back of his jeans.   
This whole experience is just so difficult to explain.He questions the whole relationship he has with Jason. What makes him want to do this much, and _why_ he’s here right now, putting himself through this ordeal_?_   
He sighs because he is here, because he's loving the whole idea of being with Jason again. Remembering how much he enjoyed holding and kissing his firm, strong body, and him touching his. And as much as he wishes he could deny all those feelings, truth is he can’t.   
  
He looks at his cell as it vibrates again. Sonny!

Didn't hear back from you Buddy.  
You okay?  
But don't forget what I said earlier.   
Beers. Tonight.  
Don’t say no.  
  


He smiles. Then suddenly, knowing they, Jason, are back. It injects a newfound confidence in him. “Um…. do you…um….” He takes a deep breath “Have anything, you know_, _that’s _not, _for girls” he frowns

“Oh..” Marcus smiles at Clay’s sudden honesty “Come this way” he leads him a corner display of toys “Is this more what you’re looking for?”

Clay looks around. There’s only three other people in the store other than Marcus and George, and he nervously nods

Marcus looks him up and down “So is it your _first _time?” he tentatively asks, gauging his reaction “Just so I know what to recommend, size, comfort that sort of thing” he smiles

Clay nods again, this time his cheeks flush even redder with the nervous embarrassment.

“Oh hey baby” Marcus smiles at the cuteness of his nervous “Clay, don’t worry. Everyone has a first time” he smiles “We all have to start somewhere. Why don’t we start here” he hands him a smaller black box.

Clay looks at it in his hand, it’s very similar to the one Jason got and as thinks about it then taking another breath he looks at Marcus “Um…” he coughs awkwardly “Do you um…. have … have something .. you know …. maybe a little larger?”

“Oh!” he continues to smile, he can’t believe how very cute Clay is right now “Larger?” he frowns “So maybe, its not quite your first time?”

Clay looks down, shaking his head.

“Look, honey don’t be shy. Let me be straight with you here, there aint nothing, trust me nothing you could say that would shock me. So feel free to unload. There is nothing I haven’t seen or heard in this place. So a nice guy like you, looking for little butt play, that is least of my worries.”   
He smiles reassuringly “Clay, if you’re straight or gay it really doesn’t matter. Who and how they make you feel, that’s what you should concentrate on.”

Clay relaxes and nods “Thanks”

“So, who's idea is this, you or him? And most importantly, are you comfortable with it?” he frowns

“Um.. his!” Clay lets a long breath as he says it “He said….it would um…. make it easier, you know when we … the… the first time if .. we didn’t do it straight away”

“Wow! That’s a nice guy. To think of you like that. Baby, in my book, he sounds like a keeper”   
Marcus and Clay both laugh. “You know, I wish my first guy had been a little more thoughtful. But, we were just so darn excited we couldn’t wait to get to on with it. Woah! Was that a bad mistake”  
He smiles again “But, we live and learn. So, this, what you’re doing. Taking it slow. It’s a good thing especially, if you got any doubts about it.”

Clay looks away , he checks his phone again. Marcus can see his nerves coming back “Here, how about this one?” he hand him a dark blue box.

“Um …” Clay nods "Yeah, yeah that's it"”

“Good! Okay so…. you gonna be needing this as well.” he picks up the blue bottle of oil lube and hands it to him “So that it? Is that all you need for today?”   
  
Clay nods

“George, Clay… Clay, George!” he introduces them at the desk as he puts the purchases into a plain bag “It’s his first-time….here!” he laughs looking up as Clay smiles, bashfully “But, hopefully we’ll be seeing you again?”  
  
He hands Clay the bagged items, as George hands him a flyer. “Lucy’s” he smiles “It’s a new club. Couple of free entry passes for you, and a _guest._”

Clay frowns looking at the club details “Is this a Gay club? Cos I’m um… I’m not sure .. I mean I’m not…."

“Right! Well that’s fine”George smiles “Sweetie, straight people can come too” he smiles “Free shots with that flyer. Hey, why not bring your _friend_. We have good music, the have the best DJ in town”  
  
George looks at Marcus as they wrap their arms around each other “Don’t listen to him. He just has such a huge ego!” Marcus laughs, then pulling George’s face towards him, he tenderly kisses him.  
  
Clay watches them, intrigued by their relationship, how comfortable they are with each other. He wonders if could ever be that open, with Jason, or indeed anyone.   
For the first time, he feels relaxed and more positive about what he and Jason did, and what he wants. And so now, all he needs to do, is make up with Jason. He sighs. _Making up might be easier said than done though._

He’s at the door, opening it to leave, when Marcus calls to him “Clay!” he smiles “You ever need to talk, honey. You come back and see us.”

o**-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Having just showered, Clay’s now anxiously pacing the apartment, back and forward while drinking his second beer of the evening.   
He’s trying to relax the knotted bundle of nerves that he has in his stomach, fidgeting with the box containing the _toy_ he bought earlier.  
  
He turns it around in his hand several times, just staring at it, studying the packaging. “What the hell!” He sighs, before again, tossing it down on the kitchen countertop and taking another long glug of his beer bottle.   
  
He stares at it, laid there on the countertop and he can’t stop thinking, Thinking about whether he’s actually going to use it or not. He’d psyched himself up in the shower, but when it came down to it, he just couldn’t go through with it   
“Oh what’s the point!” he huffs, running his hand over his head, chugging back more beer.   
  
_What was the point when Jason wasn’t even talking to him?_   
After all, this was all for Jason, about being with Jason, not for some sort of self-gratification. This wasn’t a personal pleasuring thing, so using it, not knowing if he was ever going to get what he wanted, just seemed an odd thing to do.  
  
After pacing around, drinking more of the beer, he can feel himself getting anxious again.  
He switches on the TV and slumps down on the couch trying to settle. But then five minutes later, he’s back on his feet pacing again.  
  
He feels so stupid, obsessing like this, he feels like he’s going insane. His mind only occupied by thoughts of Jason and what they did.   
  
He looks at his watch “Sonny’s right, I’m gonna get drunk, find some ladies and forget all about, any of this.”   
  
As he takes another beer from the refrigerator he’s startled by a hard knocking sound on the door. He frowns, putting down the beer “Just coming!”   
  
He twists the edges of the small, white towel, that he wrapped around his waist earlier when he stepped out of the shower, tighter. Ensuring that it stays in place and unlatches the door. As it swings open he looks up

“Jason!”


	8. I wasn't expecting that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **** WARNING *****  
going to get some HOT NSFW M/M again, now (don't read if its not your thing)

** **

**Okay! I have another couple of chapters nearly ready to post. And there is more story to come if you all still interested in it? **   
**Yes Continue or No Stop! Drop a review and let me know.**

Clay's heart is pounding rapidly. Thumping hard against his chest, which is tight, filled by a sudden nervous excitement at seeing Jason. He just stands, completely frozen, just staring at him.   
  
"Hey, how you doing?" Jason coughs nervously. Though he tries to not make it obvious, his eyes are drawn to Clay's bare, naked chest, searching his skin, casting his gaze over his muscles. Then working a trail down his body he stops at the point where the small towel meets his waistline. Going no further, he lifts them, turning his attention back on to his toned stomach muscles.   
  
As Jason smiles, Clay suddenly feels very naked, aware he's just standing there, covered only by a small piece of fabric "Oh hey! Yeah,I'm good thanks" he nods giving a cautious smile "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, I ... " Jason's tone falters "I just thought I'd swing by, you know, make sure you were good." He leans, casually propping his body against the door frame "I mean after ... you know, how we left it the other day."   
Coughing Jason feels slightly awkward standing there "Look um....Sonny, he err... he had a few words to say about it. Well _quite_ a few words, actually " he smiles "on the flight back. How he thought I was a bit rough on you. The way I spoke." He lets out another deep sigh "You know I-I just wanted so say, I didn't mean it the way it came out. I know I didn't say it the best way, and I ....I didn't take into account how you might have felt about what happened, between us."

"Yeah sure, thanks." Clay nods, unsure of what to actually say " Well, I appreciate you coming to say it, in person" He stares at Jason. He's not sure if it's a heartfelt apology or if it's just because of whatever Sonny said to him.

"Well um.... that's all I wanted to say really. So, guess I'll catch you around"   
  
Jason still hovers in the doorway, holding on to the door frame as they continue staring at each other. He's making quick subtle looks at Clay's body, noticing how bronzed, toned and fit he is. And when he closes his eyes; the images are burned in his brain and tere's an awkward silence as he tries to think of something else to say, something to continue the conversation, something so he doesn't have to leave   
  
"You goin' out?" he mumbles. Hs stare wanders from Clay's eyes, down over the curves of his chest muscles back to the small towel tucked around his waist.

"Um...Yeah" Clay swallows, he feels slightly uncomfortable, as Jason's lingering gaze is more than obvious "Yeah, Sonny and I, we're gonna sink some beers later" He smiles, averting his eyes. Subconsciously flexing his muscles, as he tries not to show it, but his heart feels like it's going to escape his rib cage, that's how hard it's beating.

"Okay!" Jason sighs, tapping the frame around the door "Well.... that's good. I mean um.... that you're feeling better. Yeah that's good, good to hear" Again he sighs, still awkwardly tapping his hand on the frame, his hand being there is stopping Clay from closing the door. "Well..... I guess I better get off. Emma she's um... she's back for a couple of days and we're going for dinner then I'm driving her to stay with her friend for the night"   
  
Something about being in Clay's, part naked, company is making it difficult for him to get his words out properly.

"That's good" Clay sighs. Now he's trying to think of something to say "Um..." he looks around the apartment "You know, would you like a beer? I'm just having one myself. I mean only if you... you want one." He sighs "What I'm trying to say is, do you wanna come in, if you have time?"

Jason checks the corridor, his head's in a dilemma about what to do "Um..err... yeah sure. Yeah that'd be great. Why not." he smiles, as Clay opens the door wide and he steps into the apartment. Nervously, he shoves his hands into his jean pockets. Feeling nervously awkward he's unsure how to relax in Clay's presence.

  
As Clay goes to the refrigerator, taking out two beers, Jason hesitantly follows him into the kitchen area, he paces around trying not to make eye contact, but the fact is, Clay's wearing barely any clothing, and it's making it incredibly difficult not to look at him.  
  
He sighs and drinks from his bottle as he watches Clay lift his beer to his lips, noticing the way that his bicep tenses, the roundness of the muscle as his arm curls upwards. It stirs all feelings he had before inside him and he smiles.

Clay nervously bites the inside of his cheek. Inside his head he's enjoying the, obvious, stares that Jason's giving him. "So, where are you taking Emma for dinner?"

"Oh um... some pasta place. Emma likes, so, you know, we're going there. I've been promising her for a while now"

Clay's leaning his back against the kitchen counter, smiling "Okay" he nods "sounds good!"

Jason take another sip of his beer. There's an unsettling feeling of tension between them and they both feel awkward. There's an elephant in the room about what happened between them, that neither of them wants to mention.

"You know what .....maybe, I should just head off. I mean, I don't wanna be late" He puts his beer on the side and as he does, his gaze falls on the box containing Clay's purchase from _Secrets._ He frowns staring at it, then turns to look at Clay.

Clay takes a deep breath. He feels really embarrassed now "Oh.. um... that... " Clay stammers as Jason picks it up "That's nothing.. it's just....just a ..." he sighs, he really can't answer properly without getting flustered.   
  
Jason looks at him smiling"I know what it is" he frowns "You buy this?"

Clay looks away, his cheeks flush red as he nods _Mmmm hmm_

Jason bites his lip, staring at the toy, then at Clay "You get this because of us?"

"Look, Jason .... it's not what you think. I mean...". Clay shakes his head, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I wasn't gonna use it. I ... " he sighs again " It was just something I thought... you know if ...if things were gonna happen, which I know they're not. But just in case" he sighs again "It was just stupid thing to do."

Jason turns putting the toy on the side, then he places his hands either side of Clay's body and takes a hold on his arms. Clay looks away, but Jason puts his hand on his cheek, then firmly griping his face, in his hand, he turns his head forcing him look at him. "You did that for me?"

Clay swallows, he feels uncomfortable unsure of how he feels right now. He's confused. "I guess." he nods "I mean, yeah I did" he sighs, dropping his gaze to the floor. Then before he can say another word, Jason leans in and firmly kisses him.

"Woah!" Clay sighs. He takes a deep breath, staring at Jason. Then he's unable to resist, pulling at Jason's head, he's clamoring to press his lips even more firmly against his. His tongue probing his mouth. Jason pulls at his hair, holding his face against him and they continue their needy, wanton kissing. A passion fueled moment in which they just can't get enough of each other.   
  
Jason's strong grip locks them together and he lets go and they surface for air, Jason giving him a big beaming smile.

"Oh god!" Clay's sighs, unsure what to say other than that. He let's out another deep breath, showing his satisfaction "Well I wasn't expecting that" he smiles

"Sorry." Jason drops his eyes, biting his lip "I probably shouldn't have done that. I ... "

"No, no. It's fine." Clay smiles "Jason, please..." he grabs at his arm "I'm really glad you did!"

Jason gives another big smile before planting his lips back on Clay's soft mouth. Pressing much harder this time, taking him more firmly, working his kiss over the whole of Clay's mouth this time. His large hand grips tightly at the back of his head. Wrapping his fingers in his curls, locking him in place. His other hand is firmly gripping and groping, through the towel, at his butt, pushing him, roughly backwards, against the refrigerator. There's a thud as he crashes hard onto the cool metal of the doors _  
  
Mmmm!_ Clay groans. He can feel his stiffness growing under the toweling fabric, as he gets more and more excited. His hardness becomes an obvious intrusion, which he's unable to hide under the small size of the towel that's, just about, covering it. "_Jason...._" he sighs. Looking him deep in the eyes he uses his strength to hold him back, while he gathers his thoughts for a moment "Maybe we shouldn't do this? I mean ...."

"What?" Jason frowns. "You don't want this now?" he asks, pressing himself harder up against his body.

Clay stares at him "Oh God yeah! Yeah I want this." he sighs breathlessly "That's not what I'm saying. I just meant if you...if you don't want. I mean, I know how difficult this is for you"

Jason backs off, turning away, taking a moment to clear his thoughts.

"Jason!" he pulls at his waist, grabbing at him, regretting saying anything "What I meant was ... " He sighs again "..oh god!" he closes his eyes, gathering himself. He's barely able to speak "I want this Jason, you know I do. But if you can't, then I want you to know, I understand. I get it. You're my team leader and this ... this is difficult for you."

Jason nods, he has his back to Clay, he's fiddling with the packaging of the toy as it lays on the worktop "Yeah, yeah this is difficult. But..." he looks around ".. but not impossible. But not doing this with you. " he frowns "I'm not sure I can live with, either." 

Clay smiles, but he's still confused "So what, what're you saying, Jason? That we can.. that we _can_ be together."  
  


Jason picks up the toy and turns to face Clay, he smiles "You wanna try this out?"

"What?" Clay frowns. A look of astonished excitement fills his face and he breaks into a huge grin "What now? You wanna do it, right now?"

Jason nods "If you want. I mean, I have an hour before I have to go get Emma, so, if you're not doing anything and um..." he coughs "you know, you need a hand with this,then..." he shrugs. "I'm willing, if you are."

"Oh my god, you bet I do!" Clay smiles "I haven't thought about anything else"   
  
Clay can't get wait and clamps his hands on to Jason's cheeks, taking him fast he kisses him hard. Jason pulls the towel from around his waist, dropping it to the floor. Revealing his hard cock, which is stiff beyond belief. Standing there in all his naked glory. Hard, ridged and strong like the rest of him, he can feel it twitch and groan with the feelings of excitement.   
  
Jason takes a step back to take a good look, appreciating the whole of his,now, naked body. "You know maybe I should leave you behind more often" he smiles "If this is the kind of welcome I'm gonna get" he laughs running his hand down gently along Clay's shaft, feeling it throb to his touch.

_Mmmm _Clay groans again. His nipples peak into little hard buds as the muscles across his chest twitch. Jason rubs more firmly, the rough of his hand massaging his length back and forward.  
Clay enjoying it so much. Leaning his full weight against the refrigerator door, groaning in pleasure. Each stroke of Jason's fingers, making a pulse of pleasure shoot up through his whole body, and such is the force of his weight against the fridge, that it pushes it backwards.   
  
"Oh my god!" he moans "Jason, that's so good!" He sighs breathlessly. Closing his eyes, Clay's lost in the ecstasy of the moment. Jason smiles, watching the desire in his face, his own cock now straining against the fabric of his under pants.

_Oh fuck!_ Clay relaxes, running his hand along Jason's strong arm, as he continues the firm strokes "Oh yeah!" _Mmmm! "Y_eah..that's so good!"

Jason has a huge smile on his face, seeing the pleasure he's bringing to him and he leans forward, his cheek brushing against Clay's beard. He's massaging, not only his hardness, with his hand, but his mouth with his lips.   
  
As Clay opens his eyes, they stare deeply at each other, both smiling. Jason sighs "You wanna take this to the bedroom?" Clay can't speak, but he nods rapidly indicating that he does. Though he's not sure if he will make it there, not if Jason doesn't let him go of him soon. "C'mon then!" he smiles again "Oh... and grab that!"

Clay picks up the box with the toy, the smile on his face couldn't be any wider as he follows him towards the bedroom door .  
  
"Hey, don't forget that!" he indicates to the new bottle of oil "I think we're gonna need it!"


	9. Relax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****WARNING***  
NSFW sexual M/M Content please don't read if its not your thing. 😎

Clay smiles as they push through the bedroom doorway. Their bodies entwined a frenzy of kissing. Clay gripping at Jason’s back, Jason holding his hips, forcing themselves tightly against each other.  
  
Jason takes the bottle of oil and the toy from Clay's hand, throwing them on the chair before he sends him crashing down, on his back, onto the bed.  
  
Clay groans. The fiery, passion filled, heat running through both their bodies is turning him on and he lays back, placing his hands behind his head, while resting up against the pillows.  
  
He's watching Jason, who's now taking his clothes off. First pulling his tee shirt over his head and then unbuttoning the fly on his jeans.  
He stares at Clay, watching him lay, there naked, on the bed and he smiles. “Let me watch you.”

Clay frowns, swallowing nervously. He understands what Jason wants, and taking his hard cock in his hand, he starts to slowly slide it up and down. He can feel it flex under the pressure of his hand as he wraps it tighter, around himself. Closing his eyes, as Jason continues watching him while he slides his jeans down his legs, then stepping free from them, and then his under shorts.  
  
He stands over Clay, his huge cock standing proud, hard and erect, from his body and Clay looks up at him from where he laid on the bed.  
Jason gives a quick tug to release the tension that's filling his own hardness. He groans with pent up frustration, trying to get a grip on his emotions, before he gives Clay some of his attention.

“Oh god!!” Clay moans. The excitement of touching himself while watching Jason is a massive turn on, and he’s not sure how long he can hold out.  
  
Jason can see how close to the edge of orgasm he is “Oh no! No Clay, don’t you dare cum, not yet. There’s a lot more I want to do to you first.” he smiles

Jason leans his whole body over the top of him, kneeling on the edge of the bed between Clay's spread legs. Leaning forward pressing his nakedness, fully, against Clay’s and gently lowering his weight on top of him. Their groins rubbing against each other is an intense feeling, Clay’s never felt anything like it before.  
This is a completely different sensation to being with the women he has been with. Jason’s firm, solid muscled torso, pressing on to him with force, grinding against the tension of his body.  
  
The feeling of Jason’s warm skin rubbing on his nipples turns him on more. There’s a groaning ache, and urgent longing for release from his balls and he moans out loud “_Oh my god!_”  
  
He can’t believe this is happening right now, and he smiles as Jason uses his strength to force him over, face down on the bed before massaging at Clay’s butt cheeks, forcing his hand roughly over his thigh muscles. The deep, strong movements on his body, feel really great.  
  
Then Jason takes the bottle of lube, covering his fingers before he runs some of the liquid down between Clay’s ass cheeks The cool sensation of the creamy fluid makes his butt clench.  
  
Jason smiles, leaning forward over Clay’s body, dropping firm kisses over his shoulder muscles before working them down his spine.  
Jason loves the feel of Clay’s back against his lips, how firm and tight it is, toned in all the right places. He continues with the kisses to the base of his spine, before standing himself upright.  
  
Running his fingers in the crevice between his ass cheeks he makes Clay tense with anticipation.  
“Relax.” Jason smiles as he massages the oil in, working it deeply between the firm muscles, before working it inside him.  
  
Clay groans in confused pleasure, as Jason penetrates his way slowly inside him with his finger. "Ahhh!" he frowns, letting out a long sigh. "Oh yeah...." he smiles.  
Then suddenly it all stops.  
  
Clay frowns and looks around to face him "Jason? ...Don't stop"  
  
"Just wait!" Jason smiles as he opens the box with the toy, taking it out of the packaging. “Woah! You were eager” he smiles "definitely going up a size here."

“You know….” Clay swallows nervously “I’m still up for skipping this part if you, ... if you wanna.... you know. I mean, I am ready for it.”

“I know.” Jason smiles. He sighs, thinking about the situation, about how much he’d love to get in there right now. Looking at Clay lying here, naked on the bed in front of him. Yeah right now he’d love to thrust his body against his virgin backside, but…no he can't.  
  
He sighs again “I know you are, but not today. There isn’t time, because when we do it, I wanna stay with you, after, not have to leave. And you know I gotta meet Emma" he smiles trying to reassure him "But we will, soon. Really soon. I promise.”  
He sighs, rubbing his hand over the smooth skin of Clay’s ass. His hand wandering around the curves of his butt. “As soon as she leaves, in a few days, then we'll make the time, and do it. Just be patient”

Clay can’t say he isn’t disappointed, but he nods “Okay!” he sighs. Continuing to lay face down, feeling his hardness underneath him, straining to have its needs taken care of “It's okay" he sighs "It’s fine. I get it, I do. ”

“Now…” Jason wickedly smiles “.. just relax. Cos, I want to make this enjoyable, for both of us.”

Clay closes his eyes, the feeling of Jason’s fingers probing around his entrance. It makes him squirm. As he moves position he can feel the wet, on the sheets, from where his cock has already started to leak in anticipation at what's coming “Mmmm!” he groans “That feels good”  
  
He can feel the thrusting as Jason's large finger enters him followed by the second. Firmly but gently pushing against him, causing a feeling of full pressure “Oh god!!! ...Mmm..." he groans "that feels so good”  
  
He strains against the feeling, as Jason finger finds his G spot and rubs. Trying to bring him to climax. “Oh god !” Clay tries to move; the feeling is so intense.  
Jason uses his strength and holds him down before dripping more of the lube between his cheeks. Pulling them apart with one hand, before positioning the toy into place.  
  
He's ready, one hand holding his cheeks apart so he can watch, the he begins to push firmly on the rubber toy  
“Aahhhhh!” Clay cries out writhing against the feeling, all of the muscles in his whole body tighten at the sensation as it enters.

“Clay relax” Jason tries to sooth him, massaging the muscles down his back. The firm rubbing on his back relaxes the tension and now he can feel that the toy is in place. It’s a lot larger than the last one and Jason used a firmer, thrusting pressure.

He drops some kisses against the smooth of his butt cheeks. It has the desired effect, and Clay relaxes, un-clenching his muscles. Then just for the thrill of it, Jason rubs his own eager hardness over and between the gap in his cheeks. The feeling of Clay's skin against his cock is a big turn on, for both of them, and Jason lets out a long-satisfied sigh.  
  
He feels so full, but it’s a good feeling, made better by Jason rubbing himself against him “Mmmm Jason! I…ahhh! I love this. I….” he stops he can’t say what it is he wants to say right now.

“You what?” Jason turns him over on to his back, pushing his legs wider apart. He stands between them and putting his own cock in Clay’s hand. “Make me cum!”

Clay smiles. He can’t wait. He leans up into a sit-up position, using his muscle strength to hold him and he begins to pull, furiously, at Jason’s hardness.

Jason thrust his hips forward to the sensation, keeping his eyes closed. Losing himself in his thoughts. “Oh yeah!” he moans out loud, as Clay pulls faster and more firmly.  
  
The smell of their male sweat and testosterone fills the air in the bedroom, while Jason continues running his hand up and down Clay’s thigh, while he massages him to orgasm “Oh yeah…" Jason sighs breathlessly "Oh god! I’m gonna cum soon!”

Jason’s close, Clay can feel it, and his own cock twitches wildly. The pressure he can feel on his G-Spot, from the toy pressing, and watching as he keeps pulling at Jason, it's a really intense moment.  
  
Then there's silence, followed by a long groan and a sigh. Then Clay feels the wet warmth of Jason's creamy fluid covering his chest and stomach.  
  
“Oh shit, Clay that was ...mmmm” Jason smiles looking Clay in the eyes “mmmm....that was good!” Jason’s whole-body shudders, as he comes down from his climax. His muscles tense in one long spasm before releasing and he lets out another sigh of relief. “Your turn. Let me watch you”

“You’re not gonna do it?” Clay frowns. He's frustrated, he badly wants Jason to touch him after holding out all this time

“Is that what you want, me to do it for you?”

Clay nods “Yeah! Oh god, yeah!” He’s right on the edge and it doesn’t take any time at all after Jason man handles him for him to shoot his sticky load on to his thigh. He sits back on the bed as the firmness leaves his body and relaxes.

Jason lays down beside him. Lying on his side, resting on his elbow, so they can look at each other. Clay runs his hand over Jason's cheek, and plants a firm kiss on his mouth “Thank you!”

Jason smiles, there's a certain innocence about Clay, and he likes it. Leaning forward he kisses him back, and they engage in another continual mouth to mouth massage of tongues.  
  
"What the....!!!" They’re startled by the sound of a loud banging noise on the apartment door. Jason looks at Clay “What the fuck?" He frowns "Who the hell's that?”

Clay furrows his brow, listening "I don’t know. What time is it?”

Jason looks at his watch “Just gone seven”

“Shit!!!" he frowns, looking at Jason "Oh hell, it’s Sonny!!!”

“What!!?” Jason frowns, panicked “What the.... Sonny? Sonny’s here, at your apartment. Why?”

“ I forgot!!! Shit! ... I told you, he’s picking me up for drinks”

“What the fuck!? And you didn’t think to say the he was coming _here_. I thought you meant you were meeting him.” Jason’s fuming and he jumps up off the bed. Finding his clothes. Pulling his jeans on, before hurriedly pulling his tee shirt over his head." Shit!!... Shit!"  
  
There’s another hard knock on the door “CLAY!! You in there?.... Open up”  
  
The only one saving grace in all this is that Clay remembered to drop the latch when he closed the door earlier, so Sonny can’t actually get in .  
  
Jason straightens his clothes, looking furiously at Clay, who’s still lying naked on the bed “Get up! Get this cleaned up. I’ll get the door” he sighs anxiously

“Jason… wait!”

“HEY CLAY!!! Buddy…” Sonny calls again through the door “...you wanna open up? I got this crate of beers...... CLAY!”

Clay can see the look of seething rage on Jason's face. He feels like he’s really messed up “Jason please…. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I totally forgot he was coming." he sighs “ Really Jason, I'm so sorry.”

“I said get cleaned up!!” He watches at Jason puts his shoes on, ignoring his plea “What the hell! I can’t believe this. You let me do _this_ knowing he was coming here." he sighs angrily  
"What, did you want us to get caught, or something?" He sighs again, running his hand through his hair “Is this part of your fantasy? That we get found out. That someone sees what we’re doing.....Jeez! I told you Clay, no one can know about this, _EVER!_” He shakes his head frustrated “I can't believe you did this.”

“I’m sorry, but honestly, I forgot. In the heat of the moment, truthfully, I forgot that he said he’d come get me." he sighs "Jason please… please don’t be like this, not after what we just did.”

He glares at Clay before throwing the towel from the chair at him “I said get cleaned up!”

Clay looks at himself, he feels really uncomfortable. Lying here naked, the excitement of their moment is gone “Oh god!" he rubs his head "I'm so sorry!” he sighs pitifully

“Every time Clay. Every time I make myself vulnerable to you, and every time you break my trust.” He grinds his teeth trying desperately to control his anger “This is not gonna happen again. Do you understand? I can’t risk this with you" he sighs letting some of his frustration out "God dammit! I knew this … this was a stupid mistake.”

“Jason please, please don’t say that. This wasn’t a mistake” Clay tries to reach out, but Jason's gone. And then as he listens he can hear Sonny’s voice as he enters the apartment.   
“Shit!” he frowns, covering himself in the towel as he heads into the bathroom to clean up.

“Clay here?” Sonny frowns, puzzled by Jason's presence opening the door. Watching as he picks his beer before necking it back.  
  
“Yeah, yeah he’s just finishing up in the shower. He said you're going out?” Jason looks at his watch “You know what .... I'm late. I’ll leave you to it. I have to go. I need to pick up Emma”

“Sure thing” Sonny frowns, there feels like there's some sort of atmosphere, but he ignores it and takes a beer from the crate and opens it. “Hey Jace…” Sonny, calls him back from the doorway “You two made up now? Put your differences to bed.”

“Um…yeah" Jason coughs awkwardly and sighs “Yeah, I suppose you could say that.” He smiles “It’s fine Sonny.” He pats him on the shoulder “It’s all okay, we’re good. Your um…. little pep talk you know …" He smiles again "Yeah, everything’s good. Hey, tell him I’ll catch him later.”

“Sure thing. Oh Jace.. .. you coming for beers, later?”

“No um…. no. I gotta take Emma for dinner and do a few other things. I’ll catch you tomorrow”

Sonny stands the case of beer down on the countertop “Clay!” He calls out, just as Clay comes through, rubbing his wet hair, having just quickly showered again.

“Hey Sonny!” Clay tries to hold his emotions in check. His stomach is a knot of hurt “I kina forgot you were coming”  
He looks around, at the now empty apartment, disappointed that Jason’s not there “Jason gone?” he frowns

Sonny nods while drinking his second bottle of beer “You want one?" he hands a bottle over "You know; you need to get a move on. After all we got ladies to go hunting for.”

“Yeah.....yeah, just give me ten minutes”

“Okay!” Sonny looks around. Frowning as he spies the nightclub flyer laying on the worktop “Hey what the hell’s this? You thinking of going in the other direction now.” he laughs.

“What?” Clay comes back to the doorway, frowning as Sonny's comment.

Sonny points at the leaflet “_Lucy’s_?! Ain't that the new gay club?”

“Um.. yeah, yeah I think so. I don't really know, I didn't take much notice, to be honest.”

“Where you get this? It’s a free entry pass.”

“Oh.... you know, some random guy in the street, handing them out. It's free shots or something”

“Free shots?! Well hello Lucy's!" he smiles "Looks like we checking it out then. Come on, get ready. I can feel something in my water, it's our lucky night tonight!”

“Sonny…” Clay frowns “.. it’s a gay club. I don’t think you’re gonna have much luck with the ladies in there” he laughs

“Clay … there'll be plenty of fine ladies in a gay club, and good thing is ...less competition, right.” Sonny smiles and winks at him.

“Alright.." he laughs at Sonny's warped logic "whatever you say” he sighs. He’s really not feeling like going out now. He's still reeling from Jason comments and angry attitude.

“Good man! Now, I’ll drink these beers while I wait for you to make yourself respectable.  
Hey Clay, Jace said he’d catch you later. It all good with you two now?”

Clay nods “Yeah, yeah we straightened everything out”


	10. Lucy's

The noise as they enter the club is intense. The strobe lights so bright, that in his drunken state, Clay has to squint and he can barely hear a word as Sonny points the way to the 'Pass' lounge at the back of the room.  
  
The hot smell of sweat from the packed dance floor is over whelming, and the pair of them weave their way through the clubbers to the bar area.  
Then walking up the four steps to the secluded area, it's a welcome relief. It's so much cooler and calmer, the noise from the music is less intense in here. More of a dull booming background sound than full on head splitting.  
  
Clay turns around looking at all the small seating booths. They're filled with couples talking and more noticeably kissing. Everyone seems to be kissing it’s the one thing Clay notices as he settle himself on the spare stool at the bar.  
Sonny attracts the barman’s attention. He waves the pass he got at the entrance, in exchange for the flyer that George gave Clay, and he orders some shots and beers.  
  
Clay's not even sure if he wants anymore to drink. They sunk all the beers that Sonny brought to the apartment before they headed to the bar near the base. They then drank more than enough beer for the entire night, or at least Clay did, not Sonny, he wanted more. And so here they are, ordering shots, in gay bar, at gone midnight.  
  
Clay sighs, his head is a fuzzy drunken blur and he takes out his cell phone from his pocket, again. He sigh. Still no reply from Jason to the, many, texts he’s sent him.Though reading through them, he’ll probably be able to tell that Clay’s drunk.

“Here!” Sonny hands him the first shot. There must be at least ten that he has lined up on the bar. He frowns as he watches Clay put his phone away.   
“Hey Clay, whoever she is .. just forget her. Let’s make the most of tonight. I'm sure we can find you a hot little one-night stand, to take your mind off this mystery woman" he smiles handing Clay another shot. "Drink!"

Clay drinks it down grimacing at the taste. It's got to the point now that even his taste buds are drunk, and he's not even sure what it is that he's drinking "What?" he frowns "What woman?"

“That chick that's got you reachin’ for your phone every ten minutes." Sonny drinks down a shot then alternates it with a swig of beer "Oh come on Clay.. " he sighs "...I thought we were gonna have fun. So far you’ve been distracted all night with whoever is on the end of that cell." He frowns at him again, seeing the look on Clay's face drop "What the hell's going on with you, man?” He sinks another couple of shots, looking at the two that he put in front of Clay still sit there un-touched.  
  
Clay puts his elbow on to the bar leaning his head into his hand "I don't know Sonny!" He sighs, rubbing his head and closing his eyes. The room is starting to spin, and he doesn’t feel so good "Sonny can I ask you something, just hypothetical, have you ever wanted someone, that that you know... you can’t have?"

"What?" Sonny frowns, drinking some more beer "Clay what is this about?" he looks at him puzzled "Um... yeah I guess so, why? Clay, who is this chick that's got you so rattled?" He furrows his forehead as he stares at him, worried “Clay what's going on, you got woman troubles?"

Clay shakes his head "Oh I don’t know." he sighs "Just … "he shrugs "I feel so confused lately, about all sorts of things."

Sonny takes a breath. He really doesn’t want to be an emotional shoulder to cry on tonight. He wanted to get drunk and have fun, not listen to Clay's love life woes. But something is definitely eating at the kid and that worries him "So who is she? This girl, and what makes her so special?"

Clay stares at the shots on the bar, before necking one back “Who said it was a girl?”

"What?" Sonny frowns. Clay's not looking at him now, but Sonny nudges him until he does look at him, staring him in the eyes "Not a girl? What the hell does that mean?" he frowns, more "If it’s not a girl, what then? Clay,what the hell are you going on about?"  
  
Sonny shakes his head necking another shot back "Oh, this is just drunken talk, Clay. Get that down you." he hands him another shot, hoping this is just some maudlin alcohol fueled crisis.

"Oh nothing" Clay rubs his head realizing he shouldn’t have said anything “I don't know what I'm talking about. It's the shots." he smiles awkwardly

"No. No, if you gotta problem, then I wanna hear it. You said not a girl?" he hushes his voice "So what then? You sayin you fancy a guy?"  
  
Sonny frowns, he wants to try and understand, be understanding. If Clay's having a crisis he wants to be an understanding friend, but truth is, if Clay's saying what he thinks he is, then he's not really sure if he _can_ understand. Especially given the amount of beer he's consumed.

"I don’t know" Clay shrugs, drinking down the second shot. He pulls a face, thinking maybe he shouldn’t have done, as the tequila hits his throat it makes him gag "Do you ever .. you know.... find a guy, attractive, to look at. I mean do you .. think... oh I don’t know. Do you ever wonder what it might be like?"

Sonny looks around. He frowns at Clay. Trying to hear what he's saying and suddenly it doesn’t seem such a good idea being here. Suddenly that flyer laying on Clay's kitchen counter concerns him, and opens up a lot of questions in Sonny's head. He leans in closer and looks at Clay "So what you sayin… you sayin' that you think you like men? That you think you might be gay?" He frowns

Clay shrugs "No! No, ..." he sighs "..Oh, I don’t know. I don't know what I'm saying. I mean I don't fancy men... just .. maybe _a _man. Maybe a friend. You know. Maybe it's just a friendship thing."

Sonny takes a deep breath trying to think of something to say in reply. He wants to say something helpful, something constructive. Something that doesn't make him sound like an ass. Something that doesn't let Clay know that he's struggling with the idea of him being gay.  
  
"Umm... it’s not me is it ? " he frowns "Cos you know... well, I’m... I’m not, you know. I mean I like you, you're my friend and hell, you're a good looking guy, of course you are but.. just...."

"No Sonny!" Clay smiles " No it's not you." he laughs

Sonny breathes a sigh of relief "You know for a moment there...." he frowns “Hey, I'm not sure if I should be offended though, cos what, you sayin' I'm not attractive? Cos I'll have you know I'm hundred percent prime Texan beef!"

They both laugh, Sonny pushes another shot in front of Clay before looking at him seriously again "Well there's obviously someone, someone who's yanking your chain. So, who is it?" he stares at him while drinking from his bottle of beer.

Clay puts his head down. Resting it on his hand, closing his eyes. Trying to get the images of Jason that keep flashing before him out of his head

"Clay, who the hell is this guy, that’s got you like this? Come on, you can tell me. Trust me, I'm not gonna judge you. But you seem like you need to talk to someone. This looks like it's eatin' at you"

Clay shakes his head "I can’t. I can’t tell you Sonny, because it's..… I just can’t"

Sonny sighs "Do I know him? This guy. Is that why you won't say who?"

Clay shakes his head, running his hands through his hair. He takes a deep breath. He so wants to tell Sonny, open up and be honest. He just wants to tell someone about why he's feeling like this, but as much as Sonny _might_ not judge him, he can't take the risk. The damage that knowing the truth might do, not only to their friendship but to the team. What would Sonny really think if he knew he and Jason were lovers.

Sonny frowns, he can see the internal struggle going on in Clay's head "Clay who is it? You can tell me. I won't say anything to anyone. Does this guy, does he feel the same way about you?"

Clay sighs, he debates over and over about telling him "I don't know, I mean yeah maybe. But, it's… it's too difficult, it's a work thing, you know."  
  
"He's military you mean?" Sonny frowns

Clay nods letting out a deep long sigh. Then he smiles, looking up at the giggling girl wrapping her arms around Sonny's neck. "Hey cowboy, you up for buying a girl a drink?" she smiles  
  
"Abbey! Oh my gosh, hullo there. What the hell you doin' here?" Sonny smiles. He's obviously met this pretty looking girl before. She smiles at Clay, as he looks away, nervously drinking from his beer.

Sonny looks around "Clay you alright man?"

Clay gathers himself realising the mistake he nearly just made. "Yeah. Yeah I'm good. Sorry, look I just had too much to drink. Seriously, I'm good." He smiles "Just .. you know.... just nothing. Can we just put this down to too much alcohol"

Sonny nods still frowning as he turns his attention to Abbey "So you wanna drink?"

"Yeah sure" she smiles "Hey Sonny, why don’t you come meet my friend, bring your friend. I'm sure she'd like to say hello" She smiles at Clay as she rubs Sonny's back and shoulders.

"Clay, you wanna come meet the ladies?"

"You know what, you go have fun. I'm just gonna sit here. I need to sober up, cos I don’t feel so good"

"You sure?" Sonny frowns as Clay nods "Okay then. Come on Miss Abbey, let me meet your friend" he smiles at the blonde "I'm sure there's more than enough of me to go around both of you"

Clay laughs shaking his head, watching as Sonny walks away with his hand round the girl’s waist. As he turns back to face the bar the large guy next to him bumps into him making him spill his beer from his lips.

"Oh hey!..... Hell, I'm so sorry, let me get you another" the guy turns around facing Clay apologizing. As Clay looks up he recognizes the face, and he smiles. The large guy smiles back "Oh hey, Clay! How are you brah?”

"Devon!" Clay smiles awkwardly "Um.. .yeah, yeah, I'm good thanks"

"You checking this place out?" Devon smiles, giving Clay a quick look over. He looks around as he frowns "Jason here?"

"Err....no. No, he’s not here" Clay sighs

"You're on your own then?" a huge smiles crosses his face "Can I get you a drink?"

Clay looks at him and the empty beer bottle in front of him. As much as he really doesn’t need anything else to drink, he feels like it would be rude to refuse the offer "Yeah! Yeah okay, I'll have another beer thanks " he smiles, watching as Devon can't take his eyes off him.

Devon turns to the two guys he's with next to him and makes some excuses "Yeah I'll catch you later guys." Then orders two more beers from the bar.  
  
Clay watches him looking him over. This huge guy in a short, rolled up, sleeved shirt with the buttons open showing his toned chest.  
He can't get over how huge he is, not only his body but the definition of his muscles . Clay knows how much hard work he must put in to keep his body like that. It's impressive and Clay's smile can't hide how impressed he is.

"You wanna get a booth? You look like you could do with a seat" He nods, indicating towards the empty seating just in front of them.  
  
Clay gets down from the stool, then collapses, very drunk now, into the more comfortable seating of the secluded area.   
  
"So, what you doing here all alone?" Devon frowns. Watching him, he can see just how drunk he is and continues staring at him, looking him over. Clay also, obviously puts the work in with his body, his large, firm, thigh muscles stretching his jeans. His toned chest under the white Tee shirt he's wearing, that clings tightly to his body.  
  
Devon can't help but enjoy looking at him."So, how's things? " he smiles as he drinks from his beer "You and Jason get on alright, with the sauna the other day?"

Clay looks away embarrassed, he can tell Devon knows what they intended to do. What they did.  
  
"Um .. yeah, yeah it was okay, thanks" He sighs drinking from his own beer, awkwardly shifting around in the seat "You know...." he coughs, about to lie "there's nothing... going on with Jason and me. I mean ...there's nothing between us. We’re just friends. Team mates that's all"

" What!?!" Devon laughs spitting his beer out "Oh really? Right, nothing going on with you and Jason" He nods his head trying not to laugh out loud. "Oh, then I must have got my wires cross cos ...the way you were looking at him, when he was having that massage... says to me, that you got it bad. But..." he smiles "what do I know about these things"

Clay shakes his head "No. No, you got it wrong. There's nothing like that"  
Clay worries now that someone has seen through him about what's going on. That Devon might know what he's thinking.

Devon puts his beer on the table and leans back in his seat "Oh come on Clay .....I've know Jason long enough. Jason doesn’t do that for any guy. Bring them, to me for a massage" he smiles "He likes you that’s obvious." He sighs again "You know I was a little jealous at first. You with Jason. But then, um ... by the end of that massage, you know what... I was more jealous of Jason. The fact he was gonna get to go with you. But then... if you say there's nothing going on with you and him. Nothing for me to be jealous about."

Clay frowns as Devon puts his hand on his thigh, then leans across and kisses Clay fully on the lips. For a moment in his drunken state Clay lets him. He even starts to kiss him back but then he puts his hand on Devon's chest and firmly pushes him back.  
  
"Whoa!! um... I mean ... look I’m flattered but.... " he sighs, looking Devon in the face, not knowing what to do or say. "You know I’m not .. I mean I don't.... with guys... I mean .. " Clay stutters

Devon smiles "Really?" he frowns watching Clay's nerves take over "cos I could swear you were giving me the come on." He leans over him again, and taking his face in his hands he forces his tongue into Clay's mouth .

Clay pulls away. He's so confused. _I mean what's not to like? Devon's good looking, fit and oh...oh he smells so good! _But, as Clay looks at him wondering what it would be like  
"I can't. I’m sorry . It’s not that you’re not attractive .. cos you are, you really, really are. But ... just... "Clay sighs "I can't. I’m sorry, I don't do this "

Devon smiles picking up his beer "Oh boy! You really have got it bad for him haven't you."  
He keeps smiling at Clay, watching him. Devon can't resist him, just looking at him is turning him on no end and he's trying to imagine what it would be like to bed Clay. His thoughts are running wild about what he'd like to do with him "You want another drink?" he smiles

Clay shakes his head as he sits quietly thinking .  
  
"Hey gorgeous, what's wrong?" Devon frowns. He takes a big sigh "You know ....you need to understand something, about Jason. " he sighs again "Jason, he’s never gonna give you what you want."

Clay looks up frowning "What do you mean? I mean, what makes you say that."  
  
Devon laughs "Jason’s not gay. He ...he just likes to sleep with men, occasionally. So, if you’re hoping for the I love you, the promises, the romance. The whole love story. Then let me tell you ...it's not gonna happen. Trust me I know that better than anyone."

Clay sighs watching Devon "What are you saying ? You saying that ... that you and Jason, you.. you know?"

Devon nods "Yeah. Yeah we had a thing for a while. It got a little intense. I was Jason's first but in the end..." he smiles "Jason couldn’t give me what I wanted. He’ll never cross that line fully. You got it worse though, worse than me, cos he's your team leader. That’s gonna put a pressure on things for sure. There's no way Jay will stand that sort of thing, not long term"  
  
He leans back, placing his hands behind his head. Clay can see his toned chest sticking out and for a moment Clay in his drunken state is slightly tempted. A guy this good looking, sitting there offering him the thing he wants to experience the most. Why would he say no?  
  
Devon smiles. It’s like he can read Clay's thoughts "So you done it yet? Gone all the way, or is Jason still teasing you."  
Devon leans forwards staring Clay in the eyes, running his hand slowly and firmly up his thigh "Is he still promising you things, while he decides what he wants?"

Clay shakes his head. "That's not true. That's not what he’s doing. He just wants it to be right when we ... " he sighs "But, no ...no we haven’t gone all the way, but we will"

"But you can't stop thinking about him right?"

"No. No I can’t” Clay’s head drops “It’s …it’s like .... like an obsession, I just want him so much"

Devon smiles "Yeah he’ll get you like that."  
He picks up his beer and starts drinking "But trust me, you need to forget him.” He smiles “What you need, is someone to distract you. Show you what you've been missing. Show you what its like to be with a _man_"  
Devon runs his hand up Clay’s chest pulling at his neck, pulling his head towards him and starts kissing him. He's forceful, Clay struggles to resists. Devon smiles at him "You know you are a really fit guy Clay. You could have any man in this room,or... woman for that matter”  
  
He laughs as he kisses him again "You know…why don't we err... you know, take this somewhere else. Some where private or ... we could go back to your place.”  
He looks at him and from his expression it's obvious what he wants “Clay, I promise you one thing, I definitely, won’t keep you waiting for it" He smiles, kissing him again.  
  
Devon is forceful, he's so much stronger than Clay and he's definitely making it obvious what it is that he wants. But it’s not the same. It doesn't feel the same as it does with Jason. and so Clay hesitates. Unsure if this is the right thing. Devon's nice, he's really, really fit. But something doesn't feel right. Clay's not use to someone being this forthright with him. Making it obvious so much that he wants to have sex with him.  
  
When Clay thinks about it, he's just not sure because as nice as Devon is he's not....he’s not Jason. He takes a breath looking him in eyes "I’m not sure if this … “he sighs “I-I need the men’s room….I just need a minute. This is a big step."  
  
“Sure thing. I’ll be right here, waiting. Oh and Clay….” He smiles “just don't be too long, I don't wanna kill this mood I’m in” he puts his hand to his groin. "If you know what I mean" he smiles “I’ll get you another drink.”


	11. Friends

"Clay, are you okay?" Devon frowns as Clay staggers his way back from the men's room  
"Hey buddy, probably best if you sit yourself down." He laughs watching him. Then standing up he gives Clay a hand into the bench seat, at the table where they're sitting.

Clay's swaying, a lot and in his drunken state, he struggles to steady himself. Sitting down in the empty space, where he was sat earlier, with an undignified thud.   
Watching him so incapacitated makes Devon smile "Here, I got you another shot, and a beer"

"Oh no .." Clay rubs his head "No. No, I don't want anything else to drink. I'm good thanks"

"Man, you team guys these days." Devon laughs " .. you're all light weights. C'mon man." He smiles as he hands him the shot glass "Clay, drink up. Oh, c'mon man, don't let the side down, it's still early yet."   
He forces the side of the glass to Clay's lips "There you go. Good boy, get it down you."

He's still smiling, watching as Clay forces himself to recluctantly swallow the fiery liquid "Aahhhhh Jeez! ...What the hell was that?.. Urggghh! God that's disgusting" He gags for a moment then quickly reaches for the beer, and though he's not keen on drinking anymore, he does, but only to take the taste of the awful liquid, that's burning his throat, away.

As he continues to gulp the beer down Devon frowns "Whoa! Steady there. Not so quick" he laughs "Don't want you passing out on me, well not yet anyway. That should perk you up a bit though, if you know what I mean"   
As he continues to watch him drink his beer, he carries on rubbing his palm over Clay's thigh. "So, you look like you work out a lot. Which gym do you use?"

Clay rubs his head; he's not really listening. His head's spinning, the sounds from the music are giving him a headache and the taste of that last shot is making him feel nauseous.

Devon leans in, putting his hand on Clay's groin, massaging him firmly. He has only one purpose, in that he wants to make him hard and turn him on. But he's getting little, to no response to his movements so now placing his lips firmly against Clay's, he forcibly kisses him. His intentions are perfectly clear, even Clay in this drunken state knows what he wants.

Clay responds to the kissing, involuntarily at first. But the manly, firm want of Devon's mouth against his feels nice, enjoyable and Clay likes it. But then part of him realises it's not enough. Devon is not _who_ he wants, and there's no positive reaction to the touching going on, anywhere else.   
It frustrates Devon because he really likes Clay and he's made up his mind he wants to have him. But, as much as he likes guys who don't know what they're doing. Guys that are drunk. Clay is a little too submissive, a little too drunk and it makes him hard work for Devon to get what he wants.

He sits back watching him sway in his seat, then still rubbing his hand on Clay's firm thigh he frowns, turning around, looking at the guy who's calling his name.

"Hey Clay!! There you are man, I've been lookin' all over, everywhere for you. Where the hell have you been buddy?"   
Sonny frowns, watching as Devon slides his hand from where it was positioned between Clay's legs "Hey, you okay? Clay... you alright man?"

Clay nods. He's hardly able to speak now. The alcohol is overpowering his senses, the effects of his over consumption now obvious.   
Devon smiles at Sonny "He's fine. Just had a little too much to drink, that's all. I was gonna get him some water, then take him home."

Sonny nods apprehensively. After his conversation with Clay earlier this evening, he's now confused as to what's going on "You two know each other?"

"Um.. yeah. Well kind of. I know a friend of his, Jason. Jason Hayes"

"Oh!! Oh okay, you know Jace? " Sonny sighs, relaxing his concern "Yeah um... he's err.. he's our boss. I work with Clay." Sonny smiles.

"Yeah, yeah I know. Jay and I go awhile back"

"You err.. you in the teams?"

"Was." Devon nods "Team six. Before I got injured. IED Kandahar. Didn't recover enough to go back"

"Oh, that sucks man. So, um.. how the hell much has he had?"  
Sonny shifts his gaze from Clay and Devon, looking behind him at the two girls, twiddling their hair, waiting, only a few feet from where Sonny is talking.

"Who's your friend Sonny? " Abbey smiles "He's cute"

"Yeah um... Abs, I'll be right there. Look, I was gonna take Clay with us, if you know what I mean? But I... I um... gotta feelin' he's not gonna last the pace." He frowns "Clay...Clay, you want me to drop you home man?"

Clay's head nods forward, but he doesn't answer "You okay buddy?" Sonny's tone changes to one of concern.

Devon laughs "You know he'll be fine here with me. I'll get him some water, let him sober up a bit, then we can share a cab home. I have a couple of friends over there, they'll give me a hand with him. I mean if you wanna get off. I can see those two lovelies are waiting for you"

Sonny frowns his head's in dilemma. Should he stay with Clay or go satisfy the needs of Abbey and her friend Helen. "You be okay with that? I mean it's not out of your way?"

"No, no trouble" Devon smiles "Anyway, those two look more than a handful. Without trying to load him into a cab with them as well"

Sonny nods looking at the girls "Yeah man, handful is one word for them. I'm gonna need all my fighting power for sure."

"Yeah, I'm just finishing up this beer, then I'll take him. It's no problem, don't worry"

"Okay, thanks man. Clay...Clay, I'm gonna head off now." Sonny frowns "Sorry, I didn't catch your name?""

"Devon." he puts his hand out to shake Sonny's.

"Devon! Right um... Sonny. Pleased to meet you. You know any friend of Jason's, is a friend of mine"

"Yeah, nice to meet you. Hope we can catch up soon? Perhaps all meet up for a drink? Be good to see Jason again."

"Yeah. Um... you know, this is not our usual place.. just err... didn't want you to think.... that um... you know. It was just Clay had a flyer, free shots so ..." Sonny smiles awkwardly "... we thought we'd check it out"

Devon smiles, he can see Sonny's apprehension and it makes him laugh inside." Yeah same here. Some friends recommended the music to me"

"Sonny!!!" Abbey whines "Are we going yet, we're bored"

"Yeah sure thing Abs, just comin' " Sonny smiles looking back at the slumped, on the bench, Clay "If he sobers up, tell him I'll catch him tomorrow"

Devon nods, patting Sonny reassuringly on the shoulder "Yeah, don't worry, he's in good hands"

"Yeah, not that he'll remember, but I'll call him in the mornin' "

"Like I said, he'll be fine. Just get off and...." Devon smiles "have a good time. Stop worrying about him."

As Sonny leaves Devon sits himself next to Clay, leaning back in his seat, taking his bottle of beer to his lips. "Clay...you okay?" he frowns, lifting his chin. He looks at the dazed and drunken look in his eyes and he smiles. Then putting his lips to Clay's he's kissing him again, but Clay doesn't move.

"Shit!!" he sighs at Clay's non response. Watching as his head drops down "Clay!... Clay?" he frowns getting no reply. Lifting his chin again, he notices he's just about passed out.

"Oh great!" He sighs heavily. Running his hand over his head, continuing to drink some more from his beer and letting out a longer more resigned sigh. Then pulling his phone from his back pocket he makes a call "Hey!" he pauses "Yeah, it's Devon. ... Yeah, I know it's late, but I think you have a bit of a problem"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Oh jeez! How the hell much has he had to drink?" Jason frowns "Did you get him in this state? I know what you're like Devon, what did you give him?"

"Hey, hang on. No, I never had anything to do with this" Devon frowns "Why would you say that? This is nothing to do with me, I just found him like this. I think, he um.... he said he came with someone. Was it ...Sonny?"

"Sonny!" Jason sighs "He was here with Sonny? So, where the hell's Sonny now?"

"Um... if he's the big guy, beard, Texan accent? Then I think I saw him leave with some girls earlier."

"Oh jeez!" Jason sighs, rubbing his hand through his hair, pacing beside the booth where Clay's now slumped.

"I don't know if I did the right thing, calling you, but, I wasn't sure what else to do with him. I mean, when I couldn't find anyone with him, I figured I shouldn't leave him, he's well out of it man."

"Clay!" Jason slaps his cheek, only getting a slight groan in response "Clay!!" Jason sighs "Shit! Look at the state he's in. What the hell am I gonna do with him?".

Devon smiles, drinking the rest of his beer before putting the empty bottle on the table in front of them "Well, I can give you a hand to get him home. You got your truck right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's probably the best thing. ....Jeez! Yeah, thanks Devon."

"Well we can't leave him here man" Devon laughs "Someone this cute, this drunk he could easily get taken advantage of. A lot of guys in here, they wouldn't care"

Jason laughs "You know, I'm surprised you didn't take advantage. I saw you looking at him the other day, when we came for our session"

He smiles "Well yeah man. You caught me. I mean who wouldn't look, he has a great body. So, I can't say it didn't cross my mind, but hell he's too out of it, even for me. Wouldn't want him waking up not knowing what happened. Besides as you know, I like my guys to remember when I've fucked them." he smiles "Anyhow's, I get the impression, he's only getting hard for one person at the moment"

Jason frowns "What? Why are you looking at me?"

"Oh, come on Jay" Devon laughs "He's smitten with you. You gotta know that right? Hence why I said you gotta problem"

"Clay's fine. He's just drunk and a little confused about things right now"

"Yeah... yeah, you keep tellin' yourself that. So, why's he drinking to this degree? What's he blocking out?"

"Nothing." he sighs "Oh, who knows. Maybe he has women troubles"

"Oh right! " Devon lets out a loud laugh "So this is nothing to do with what went on with you at the sauna?"

Jason and Devon stare at each other "Oh keep denying it Jay, like you always do, cos that solves everything, doesn't it."? Devon shakes his head "I know he told me you didn't go all the way. So, why were you holdin' back? Cos, I mean it's not like _he_ doesn't want to do it. He wants it really bad. Are you playin' him? Playin' hard to get, messin' with his head. Cos we both know you're good at that"

"No! No, of course not. Look, it's difficult alright. It's not ..it's not like it was with us. It's more complicated"

" Oh no, I get it. It's difficult." he sighs "Jay, what the hell even made you go there? You gotta have known, it was gonna get complicated. I mean, for one you're in the same team. You and I got difficult enough, and we didn't even have to spin up together"

"I know." Jason sits down on the stool next to Clay at the table, rubbing his hands through his hair he sighs "Jeez, Devon, what the hell am I gonna do? You're right, I've crossed a line here, getting involved with someone from my team. That's bad I mean I always made a rule this life, it doesn't cross the work line" he sighs " and I broke that, messing about with him and now I don't know how to undo it."

Devon puts his hands-on Jason's shoulders, massaging him. "Come on, this is not like you. It'll be alright, it's not gone too far yet. Maybe just talk to him and explain why it can't happen".

Devon looks at Clay as his sits slumped on the seat in the booth. He laughs "Gotta say he's pretty damn cute, though. I can see what makes him hard to resist. You always did have good taste."

"Will you stop." Jason frowns, rubbing his head annoyed but a slight smile crosses his lips as he looks at Clay crashed out beside him "What the hell am I gonna do with him?"

"Jay.. " Devon puts his hand on Jason's leg "..let's just get him home." he smiles "C'mon, I'll give you a hand to get him up."

Jason frowns pushing his hand from his thigh "Clay, come on buddy, it's Jason. Let's get you out of here."

Devon puts his shoulder under Clay's arm "On three.... " they lift him up off of the seat, carrying his, now heavy, drunken, dead weight between them.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

As they dump him, unceremoniously, on the back seat of Jason's truck, they both look at each other laughing as they hear him start to snore.

"Jeez!...What a state to get in. It's like he's unconscious or something. I wanna know how many shots Sonny let him have"

"He's gonna have a sore head tomorrow, that's for sure" Devon smiles, as Jason closes the door on the truck. He leans his back against it and running his fingers through his hair, giving a loud exhausted breath out. "Hey, c'mon Jay, don't worry. He'll sleep it off and then he'll be fine. We've all been there"

Devon watches as Jason looks up at him from where he's standing "Will he though? What if you're right, what if I've messed with his head"?

"Hey, this is not like you" he puts his hands either side of Jason's hips "You want me to give you a hand getting him back to his?" He smiles with this intense look on his face " You know we could always drop him off and then...go back to yours "

Jason looks up "Devon don't alright. Don't look at me like that, cos you know _that_ is not happening. We're not going there again, I told you."

"Oh, c'mon Jay...." he keeps staring and smiling. Using his superior strength Devon pushes Jason forcibly back against the truck door "...you know how I feel. I bet that's why you brought him to spa. You wanted me to see you with another man. Did you use him, to dangle in front of me?"

"Jeez Devon, what the hell goes on in your head? Don't be stupid, I'd never do that. You know why I brought him there. Don't go there alright" Jason's tone gets more aggressive and he pushes Devon's hands away from his waist "Me and you, that's not gonna happen"

"Really .." Devon gets much more forceful, much more intense in his physical presence, Jason holds him back, it's a clash of strength and one Jason knows he probably can't win. Not when Devon's in the mood that he is. Next thing he know Devon's lips are on his, trying aggressively to force him to kiss him back.

Jason pulls away, summoning his sober strength and he shoves Devon away from him "Get the hell off me, alright. I told you ..not happening. Now back off!"

Devon laughs "Woah, there he is, the Jason Hayes I remember. Fire and fight not this moping after some lovesick puppy. You really have got it bad for this boy. But you know you need a real man, right? Someone who can stand up to you"

"And that's you is it? "

"Well..." Devon laughs "I've never seen you turn me down before, not like this anyway. What you really want that over me? Oh, c'mon Jason where's the fun in easy like that?"

"Shut the hell up!" Jason takes a change of tone, "You're pissing me off Devon. This is nothing to do with Clay. This is you and the way you go about things."

"Right, you know maybe I should have taken my chance with him, when I had the opportunity earlier. He was putty in my hands." he smiles winding Jason up. "You never know, when he sobers up I might try my luck again " He smiles, feeling the anger inside him subside "Just a friendly word of advice Jason, you keep him waiting too long and I'll have him knocking my bedroom door down."

Jason shoves Devon away with a lot of force

"Oh! .. You want some, do you Jason? Cos c'mon then"

"No. No, I'm not getting into this with you. I know that what you want. But one warning,you stay the hell away from him or you're gonna have more problems than you can handle"

Devon laughs in Jason's face "That a threat Jason? Cos I'm happy for you to try it"

Jason sighs trying to calm his temper "You know what, you need to go. Go get a cab. I need to get him home and I don't want you anywhere near him. He doesn't need the trouble you bring."

Devon glares angrily "Getting a little high and mighty there Jason. You know you need to start owning what you do cos you can't keep passing it off as some _phase_ or_ insecurity_ forever. Clay's gonna get hurt if you're not careful. But then you're good at that, aren't you? Hurting then shutting up shop and walking away. Leaving others to pick up the pieces"

"Just go Devon!"

"Oh, I'm going " he shrugs, an insidious smile creeps across his face "It's your loss anyway. But you know, maybe I'll see you around Jay"

Jason sighs "No. No, I don't think so. I don''t think we will"

He gets in the driver's side of his truck. He's ready to drive away. Checking the rear mirror he can see Clay fast asleep, lying flat out. on the back seat. He smiles "Jeez Clay. What the hell am I gonna do with you?"


	12. Coffee. Lots of Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this gets a little bit smutty so please be warned contains adult themes M/M so if its not your thing.   
.  
When you read it I'd be interested to know if you want more? (I have more planned) but didn't know if you would all prefer for it to end?

"Whoa! Whoa, steady there!" Jason shakes his head "Keys?" he frowns. "Clay where are your keys?"  
  
Holding Clay with one hand against the wall, he uses his other to search his pockets for the keys to the apartment.   
Listening as Clay's slurs a serious of incoherent words into jumbled sentences. He smiles "Yeh okay buddy, just hold it there" Jason frowns, looking away, while he feels in the front pocket of this jeans before pulling out the set of door keys.   
  
Then finding the right one, he unlocks the door to Clay's apartment, turning back toward the thudding sounds of Clay as he slumps to the floor in the hallway.   
  
"Shit!!" Jason sighs looking at the heap of drunken body on the floor, then hoisting him up, he has no choice but to throw him over his shoulder and carry him inside . "Sonny you're gonna answer for this." he sighs again "How the hell did you get him in this state?"

Jason throws him down on the couch, to which Clay lets out a long, loud groan  
  
"Coffee! We need lots of coffee." As Jason turns his back to enter the kitchen, there's another thudding sound as Clay keels off the edge of the couch to the floor  
  
"Awww" he groans, at least letting Jason know he's still alive

"Shit!" Jason rubs his head frustrated. He fills the machine with water and grounds and then when it's brewed he pours two mugs, of black coffee. Then pulling Clay to a sitting position he slaps his cheek trying to rouse him and bring him around   
"Clay!!... Clay, come on buddy!" he sighs a long loud frustrated sigh. Rubbing the sweat from his forehead he crouches down next to him, trying to get him to sip some of the warm caffeine "Clay... c'mon drink. We need to sober you up."   
  
Clay blinks as the hot liquid hits his taste buds. He rubs his head, before it unceremoniously lolls forward. "Mmmm....No, get off me.. .No, I don't want to. Stop!"

Jason frowns "Alright!.... UP!" He grabs him under the arms and using all his strength gets him into a standing position "C'mon. I know a quicker way to sober you up!"

He drags him, as his feet fail to walk properly, towards the bathroom. Then holding him, pinned against the tiled wall with one hand, he leans over, reaching to turn the shower water on.

"Right c'mon, let's get you undressed" he sighs, snapping his fingers in his face when he doesn't respond "Clay! C'mon, get these clothes off."   
He pulls at the hem to his T Shirt, listening as Clay groans with annoyance and eventually Jason loses his patience and he roughly pulls at him struggling to get the T shirt over his head.   
  
Once it's off he sighs while unzipping the fly on his jeans. Then wriggling them over his his hips he pulls them down. It's not easy removing his clothing while trying to hold him up at the same time.  
  
As Clay steps unsteadily out of them, Jason grabs them up throwing them with his tee into a pile in the corner of the room.   
  
Now Clay's stood there in only his white tight under shorts and the sight of him makes Jason smile "C'mon Clay ... take them off, we need to get you in the shower"  
Clay opens his eyes staring at Jason, as he pulls at the white cotton, sliding them down slowly.

Jason sighs, trying to look away as Clay steps out of his shorts but he can't help but look down taking in how good his body looks. Now he's standing there naked while Jason holds him upright and Jason just stares at him.  
Clay's tired and still very drunk and he leans forward, resting his forehead against Jason's shoulder "Hmmm !" Jason sighs again, looking at him stood here in this pitiful state.

Clay looks up, his big wide eyes starring Jason full in the face and in the next moment, before Jason can even respond, he's reaching up putting his lips to Jason's kissing him passionately.  
  
Jason holds him back away from his body, looking him in the face. He's unsure how to react to the move Clay just made, but he resists the temptation to kiss him back. "C'mon..... get in here"  
  
He opens the shower door and helps under the warm water, holding him steady. Clay leans against the shower wall, using it to hold himself steady as the water from the shower spray covers his body and Jason pulls the door closed.  
  
He stands watching him through the glass, every curve of his body, every muscle as he moves now glistening with the warm water. He looks amazing and the sight of him completely naked makes Jason hard, but it also makes him feel guilty because Clay is in no fit state to be taken advantage of "You okay in there?" he calls over the whooshing sound of the water.

"Yeah!" Clay groans, he's slightly more coherent and he manages to reply "Jason.... thanks" 

Jason sits himself on the lid of the toilet pan, rubbing his hands through his hair, listening to loud sounds of the gushing water. He takes a deep breath thinking about Clay. Looking up, through the glass shower screen he notices his nakedness again and he closes his eyes to it. I can't I just can't do this it's wrong. Jason knows crossing that line with one of his team members is not good. He can't look at Clay without thinking how sexually attractive he is and it concerns him.   
  
As does Clay's physical attractiveness ,which recently has been turning him on all the time, even at work. Jason knows it's a dangerous way to feel. And coupled with the unique emotional vulnerability about Clay, which is magnified tenfold in this drunken state, which makes Jason _really _hard it all worries him.  
  
"Coffee!..... Clay stay there. I'm gonna make some more coffee"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Jason places the mugs of coffee on the bedside table. He listens, no longer able to hear the sounds of water flowing, but he can hear the chaos of Clay stumbling around the bathroom.

He opens the door to check on him. Watching as he struggles with the towel and drying himself. He does look a bit more sober now but he's still having to use the back wall for support, to stop himself from falling over.

"You okay?" Jason frowns

Clay nods as he continues rubbing his body with the cotton towel.

"I made some fresh coffee." He sighs "What the hell did you have to drink?"

"I don't know ... " Clay shakes his head, confused "I don't feel good though. I just felt so out of it .. I've never felt like that before. Not from drinking"

"C'mon, lets get you out of there."   
  
Jason sits him on the bed, helping to dry his back with a fresh towel, then hands him the mug of coffee. Clay holds the cup sipping it slowly, it tastes awful, making him feel nauseous and he refused to drink anymore.   
He shakes his head and Jason takes the cup from his grasp, putting it back on the table "C'mon, get in bed. Try to get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

Jason pulls the quilt back and helps Clay into bed. Swinging his legs around, lying him flat against the mattress. He holds the quilt for a moment, staring at Clay's naked body just lying there in front of him, He lets out a long sigh, closes his eyes then covers him over.

"Jason!!" Clay calls out "Stay... Please."

"Just go to sleep, Clay. " he stops to think for a moment looking at him lying there, and as much as he would love to climb in beside him, he can't. " I'll just be through there"

Jason grabs a mug and filling it with more coffee. It's late and he sits himself on the couch, running his hands, frustratedly, through his hair.   
He lets out a long sigh, thinking about Clay just lying feet from him, naked under the quilt, in the other room.   
The times he's dreamed about spending the night with him, ever since it became clear of Clay's feelings for him, but since the sauna he's thought about it and knows that they can't because he knows it's crossing a line and they'll regret it.   
That them fucking would put them at risk, and that it would compromise his role as team leader. _How could things ever be the same if I sleep with one of my team_? _No, it can't happen it's just the way it had to be. _And so, resigning himself to that fact, he puts his feet up on then end of the couch and closes his eyes to sleep.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Hmmmm!" Jason groans, letting out a deep sigh as he rubs his head waking up from the deep sleep he was in.  
  
Unsure of what's going on, only aware of a heavy weight pressing against his chest. As he opens his eyes he finds Clay's face only inches from his. His lips touching Jason's. They just stare at each other as Clay presses his naked body against Jason as he lays on the couch. He smiles as they just continue to stare at each other deep in the eyes.

Jason doesn't say a word, taking a moment to think as he studies the wanting look in Clay's face. Then before Clay can say a word he grabs the back of his head, his fingers wrapped tightly in his hair and he pulls Clay's mouth to his own.  
  
Clay groans loudly as they kiss, before forcing his tongue into Jason's mouth, his hands grabbing at his head pulling him towards him.   
  
They're wrapped in each other and Clay breaths deeply as they exchange passionate, needy kisses. They can't even get any air; they want each other so badly. Jason has one hand clawing at Clay's back, while using all his strength with the other he massages firmly against his naked ass. Grabbing and groping, holding him forcibly, tight against his groin. His semi hardness is groaning against his pants, just begging to be released.

As they surface, if only briefly, from their kiss, Clay smiles "I want you so much" He sighs running his hands through Jason's hair "I don't wanna wait anymore "

Jason returns the smile. He's watching his expression closely "Me either"

Clay's face beams at that statement. He gets up from the couch and heads back to the bedroom willing him to follow. 

Jason sits up on the couch for a moment, rubbing his head. He's working through the situation. _What the hell am I doing? _He sighs. Then against all of his earlier judgement he unzips is pants, dropping them to the floor.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

As he enters the bedroom doorway he pulls his tee shirt over his head dropping it on the floor, then just before he gets in the bed beside Clay, he takes his under shorts off dropping them there beside the bed.

Clay smiles, reaching over to embrace him. Wrapping his legs around Jason's thighs he uses his strength to force their bodies together against each other.   
The feeling of Jason's naked skin against his is a big turn on and he strokes his hand on Jason's cheek. Jason is hesitant to respond to his touch, and Clay senses his apprehension "Jace..... relax"   
He kisses him softly, the feeling of Jason's stubble against the smooth of his cheek feels so good. Now, greedily, he starts kissing him again, their tongues massaging each other's mouths with an abandoned feeling of wanting. They can't stop, enjoying the wet of their tongues against each other's mouths.

Clay starts to kiss down Jason's chest, working his way to his navel. Jason stops him, holding his head pulling him back up his body until their eyes meet each other "Clay.. no! Not tonight, not when you're like this .I don't want you regretting it"

"But Jason you just said...."he sighs "Jason I'm fine with this, I know what I'm doing. This is my choice and I choose this" he smiles, kissing him "It's good, I'm good. So relax"  
  
He kisses Jason again, stroking his hand through his hair as they stare each other in the eyes. Jason watches his face, seeing how much he's sobered up. Then he smiles as he grabs his head, forcing his lips against his, Clay's tongue twisting inside his mouth, showing his strength.

Clay smiles, then continuing where he was interrupted earlier he works his way down Jason's body.   
Finding himself at Jason's semi hardness he flicks the tip of his tongue against the head of Jason dick making him flinch and groan "Ohhhh! oh... Clay!" Jason sighs, tugging at the curls of his hair.   
Clay wraps his mouth firmly around his solidness and Jason forces his hips forward, towards the sensation of Clay's warm, soft mouth on his dick.   
  
Sucking him, a little, too eagerly, Jason closes his eyes. "Oh!" he groans "Oh god, you're so good at that!" Clay smiles to himself, taking his time, slowly trailing his tongue down the length of his cock.  
Jason's enjoys having him sucking against his skin and he thrusts deeper, filling the whole of his mouth deep into his throat he makes him gag, until Clay regains some control.   
  
"Ohhhh!" he moans again, already thinking he wants to cum. He pushes Clay back. "No. Stop! Oh, oh god, Clay don't do that to me. Not yet" he smiles.

"I'll only stop if you fuck me then. I'm ready"

"Yeah..." Jason smiles him pulling his head up and kissing him "..yeah I think you are" he strokes his cheek, kissing him "Turn over then"

Clay smiles and lays on his chest on the bed. A feeling of anticipation soars through his body, his heart beating wildly and his cock hardens excitedly.   
He can hears Jason rummaging around on the side table "They're in the drawer .. the lube and condoms. They're in the drawer" Clay smiles knowing what his searching for.

Jason sighs again, having another sudden pang of doubts, thinking for a moment about what they're about to do, as he brings the items back to the bed.   
  
He runs his hand firmly long the back of Clay's thigh, rubbing his hand up and along the curve of his butt and then he leans forward, dropping several kisses down the length of his spine. Gripping at his waist, he forces him into a kneeling position in front of him. "You still sure you want this?"

Clay nods "I'm sure" He turns around, looking at Jason, before dropping his head down into the pillow.   
  
Jason dribbles the cool liquid of the lube along the crease of is tight butt cheeks.  
"Mmmm!! Clay groans as Jason passionately works the lubricant into his body using his fingers, entering him slowly. He's loving the feeling of Jason caressing him like this, his fingers finding their way inside him, first one, then two and then a third. He thrusts them back and forward, gently hooking his prostate making him squirm with pleasure.   
  
"Ooh!" Clay moans "Oh god!" he loves the feeling and his cock stiffens to it's full potential, the hardness slapping against his leg. Clay puts his hand to it and starts to stroke as Jason continues stretching and preparing him ready. He can't wait. Excited his body flushes with apprehensive anticipation wondering what it's going to feel like to have Jason inside him.  
  
Jason lets out a long sigh, feeling Clay's body like this is really turning him on "Oh fuck, you feel good!"

Clay smiles "Then fuck me, properly. I told you, I'm ready, that it's what I want. I want you, all of you... inside me."

Jason breaks the condom open, rolling it down the length of his hardness. He moans at the touch of his hand combined with his anticipation as he stares at Clay's bare ass ready and waiting in front of him. Then running more of the lube between his ass cheeks and then on his hand he strokes it over his own firm cock and lines the head up with Clay ,ready to enter him.   
  
Gripping his hips tight with one hand, his other softly caressing Clay's back, he strokes gently around his waist, over his stomach before stroking his cock, then he repeats the motion in reverse until he's back holding his own cock in place. Then with a tentative gentle, but firm thrust forward, the tip enters him.   
"Oh, you're so goddamn tight!!" Jason groans, smiling. He wasn't expecting him to feel like this and it's an intense feeling of pleasure. It's been a while, since he's given in to doing this with a guy and the last one was nowhere near like this "Ohhhh ....you feel so good!"   
  
Slowly, but with a firm force, he thrusts deeper inside, filling and stretching him. Clay buries his head into the pillow, fisting his hands against the sheets moaning. It's slightly painful, but his want for this is outweighing him saying anything, anything that might mean Jason would stop.   
  
It's an intense and unknown feeling, but the sensation is rapidly turning to pleasure and Clay's now starting to enjoy it.  
Jason closes his eyes, and gives one more forceful thrust and he's fully inside, filling him completely to the hilt. His balls slap against the back of Clay's thigh as he buries his length inside him "You okay?" he strokes his hand over his back and massages his manly, firm ass cheeks. Jason can't get enough of looking at himself buried deep inside Clay's beautiful ass.

Clay groans, he feels so full, like it's too much. He's sweating, apprehensive and unsure if he should move. The feeling of Jason sitting inside him is something he can't describe but it's intense.   
It's hurts a bit and he's trying to relax, but his muscles throb around Jason large   
cock. "Mmmm " he groans as Jason puts his hand on his ass.   
  
Pushing himself back withdrawing his length as begins to pull out. "Clay, just relax" Jason soothes him, kissing and stroking his back "Why don't you cum for me, help you relax"   
He encourages him to keep jerking himself off, but Clay can't, he's engrossed, concentrating on the feeling of pleasure from Jason taking him, about what's going on behind him to worry about his own satisfaction.   
This is all the satisfaction he wants. This is pleasure enough. "Oh fuck!" he moans as Jason pulls back sharply, not all the way out but far enough that only the tip remains inside, then without warning, he plunges forward again.  
  
"Aahhhhh! " Clay cries out this time. There was more power to that thrust, as Jason's gets more turned on and is chasing his orgasm now, unable to hide his need for him, to contain it. He's waited as long as Clay to do this and now he's getting what he wanted, to fuck Clay and he's struggling in his control his strength.  
  
Clay completely submits to him now, as Jason grabs at his hips with both of his strong hands, holding him in place he shoves hard against him.   
  
The feeling is now one of continual thrusting motions. Jason's can't hold back, he wants him so much, he's so turned on he's not going to be able to stop now. Back and forward deeper and harder and he's well aware that Clay's, tight virgin ass, must be feeling it.   
  
He can certainly feel as his legs tremble underneath him and he can also feel him holding back, apprehensive to each, deep, plunge forward. Clay closes his eyes, he feels so full and there still a dull ache every time Jason sinks deeper inside him, he can feel the size of him and the power of each thrust but it's an incredible feeling and one he's waited too long to experience. There is no way he's going to stop, at least until Jason cums.

Jason's now lost in his own thoughts, just pounding at Clay holding his hips so tight, thrusting hard "Mmmm! Oh, oh yeah I'm gonna cum!"Jason's breathlessly cries out. 

Clay's relieved, in a way, to hear that, not that he wants this to end, but Jason was right he'd certainly know he'd been fucked when they finished, and he was so glad now for the preparation, that they didn't do it straight away.

Jason sighs. He can feel Clay's tension and now on each thrust forward he holds in for longer touching Clay's G spot, turning him on making him want to cum.   
Then dropping one hand round to the front of Clay's groin he takes his hard cock in his hand and starts to pull and pump in rhythm with his pounding of his ass.   
  
"Mmmm!" now Clay relaxes, it's getting enjoyable. That continual tapping against this prostate is really taking him to the edge of ecstasy, and it's not long before his warm wet white stream shoots over Jason hand on to the sheets below him.  
  
Clay wants to collapse on the bed, he's wrung out, but Jason holds him firmly in place, pounding so hard against him, the noise of the skin on skin is helping him concentrate as Jason feels his own hot cum fill the condom. "Aarrrggh!!!..... Oh!.... oh god!" he groans, trying to get his breath.   
Leaning forward, he stays in position, enjoying the last of the feeling of filing Clay, beautiful body. Enjoying the last moments of being bonded together.

Finally, he lets Clay drop down to the mattress. Pulling out and tying the condom and dropping it in the bin beside the bed "Oh holy fuck, you were so good!"

Clay doesn't speak, he's taking in the moment. His ass feels strange now with nothing filling him and he sighs.

"Did you enjoy it ?" Jason hesitates at his quiet and he drops a kiss on his butt cheeks, before massaging them gently. Then picking the towel from Clay's shower, he wipes himself then cleans Clay up. Before he lays down beside, wrapping his arms around him, pulling him close.   
  
Clay's almost in shock and he trembles with a shiver. Jason pulls the quilt around them, covering them over "You okay? You're quiet"

Clay turns over on to his side to look at Jason and he smiles. Reaching his lips forward he kisses him "Yeah." he smiles again "Yeah I'm good. Thank you" he runs his fingers around his face "I'm glad we did this, and I'm glad you were my first"

Jason smiles watching his beautiful smile, his eyes and that look of contentment "Me too!" he kisses his lips in return, rubbing his hand in his beard as he pulls Clay closer. Putting his leg over Jason's thigh, pulling their now flaccid groins together against each other. The feeling of rubbing together is special, and if Clay wasn't so exhausted he knows it would be a real turn on   
  
"Go to sleep now" Jason rests Clay head under his chin, his arms wrapped around his head holding him to his chest, as he too closes his eyes for some sleep.


	13. Where are you?

Clay yawns. Stretching his arms towards the ceiling he flexes his muscles. Slowly blinking his eyes open and he groans as the light increases the thudding ache in his head.   
He begins to focus, becoming aware of the empty space beside him. The side of the bed Jason occupied last night. He gently runs his hand over the mattress, feeling the cool smooth of the sheet.   
  
As his eyes open fully he attempts to sit up, but it's too much effort. His head's pounding like a pneumatic drill went off. His body aches so much he thinks he's been in a fight and the one other thing is the griping sore pain in his backside. "Awww!" He groans and rolls on to his side.  
  
Picking up his cell phone from the floor beside the bed, he checks the time. He frowns, rubbing his head again then he lays back into the soft of the pillows, listening to the silence.   
  
"JASON?!" He calls out. There's nothing, no reply, just the echo of a quiet room. "JACE!!"   
Still no answer. He drags his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting himself upright. And as he gets his bearings he notices that Jason's clothes are not on the floor.  
  
He staggers, head thumping, to the doorway "Jason? Are you here?"   
  
The entire apartment is quiet. Jason clothes have gone, and so has he. He’s disappointed, and he slumps down dejected on to the couch, running his hands through his hair. He must have sat there, in quiet contemplation, for at least a good ten minutes. Just thinking about how he'd imagined the morning after should have been.   
  
The whole thing about having sex with Jason, was that he'd thought about it so often in the past few months, that he'd planned every detail. And now, other than the actual fucking part, none of it had gone how he had imagined.   
  
He does smile though, because now they had _done it, _and he liked it and that meant that they could do it again.  
  
He relaxes back in the couch pillows, thinking about that, about doing it again and as he does his cock starts to stiffen. It's then that he realizes that he's sitting there completely naked and maybe a shower should be his first priority.   
  
He heads back to the bedroom and picks up his cell phone before sending a quick text.

Thanks for last night.   
I really enjoyed it.   
Why didn't you stay or at least say goodbye?   
Where are you? Maybe we could meet up for breakfast.   
xxx

He reads the text then deletes the kisses. Staring at it again he decides on one x just to make it look less formal. Then unsure he deletes that as well _Do guys put kisses on texts to people they have sex with. _  
  
He wasn't quite sure how a relationship like this worked. _Was it even a relationship? _And if it was then how would that work? Especially with Jason being his team leader. How would BRAVO react if they ever found out what had gone on with the two of them.   
  
There are so many questions floating around in Clay's head has right now. Navigating this, new, dynamic for their relationship was going to be tricky.   
How was he going to be able to handle not showing his feelings at work? He'd have to find a way because as Jason had already warned him, this was a line they couldn't cross. And there was no way that Clay was going to risk what they had now, not now Jason had made how he felt about him clear.  
  
He notices the used condom in the trash can, beside the bed, and the small bottle of lube still standing where it was left last night. He smiles.   
  
His head is throbbing with hangover and he lays himself back against the quilt, staring at the ceiling, still thinking over last night’s events.

His butt cheeks clench as he remembers the feeling of Jason first entering him as they made love. He has to admit that despite the lube it still hurt, but he even loved that about, that he was still reminded of it even this morning.  
  
He runs his hand over his own chest, feeling the curves of his muscles and allowing extra moments for his fingers on his nipples. He remembers Jason kissing and biting at them, last night, and how much that feeling turned him on.   
  
Then he allows his hand to move below the line of is navel. He’s so turned on laying here, re- imaging, last night's activities. Picturing Jason touching him, the feeling of him kissing his body, the desire they had for each other and how much they wanted to fuck.   
  
As those thoughts now rush around Clay's head the blood pumps in his cock, making it stiffen. The harder he gets the more he groans with pleasure "Mmmm!" such a nice feeling.   
  
He looks down he can see his hard cock, firm and ridged, standing proud from his body. And the more he thinks about Jason and him making love to him the harder it gets. He wraps his fingers around himself, closing his eyes as he starts to tug with gentle but firm strokes on his overly sensitive dick.  
  
Even though he was drunk, and a lot of the earlier evening is a blurred vagueness, the part after his shower he definitely remembers, and he's enjoying replaying the feelings of that moment when Jason took his man on man virginity.   
  
"Oh god!!" Clay moans again. That feeling that first time he thrust into him and how much he enjoyed the power Jason had over him. It was amazing.  
  
Now his thinking is different, now he's fantasizing about doing it to Jason. Him being the one in control, him being the one giving the pleasure. It's all he can think about now and he makes up his mind up. _That has to happen.  
_  
He sighs out loud, breathing hard as his orgasm builds "Ahhh!" he moans closing his eyes, picturing them together again, but this time Jason's the one lying under him.

He stops suddenly. His hand still wrapped around his cock. There's a loud knock on the door "Oh shit! I'm just coming!" he calls out "Literally" he smiles to himself.

He grabs a towel from the bathroom, and wrap it around his waist, struggling to cover the hard on he still has. To be honest his head is hoping it's Jason, that he went to get breakfast for them or something like that, but it's not. As he opens the door he's taken by surprise  
  
"Oh! Um.. Devon" he frowns "Hey!"

"Hi" Devon flashes a pearl white smile "I um...I just thought I'd stop by; I got your address from the forms at the spa. I just wanted to check you were okay, you know after last night." he smiles again "I mean I was a bit worried as you were pretty wasted"

"Uh.. yeah. Yeah I'm getting there. I was um...I was just gonna grab a shower. Liven myself up a bit."

A huge smile that's almost a laugh crosses Devon's face as he notices the hard on under Clay's towel "You look pretty livened up already" he chuckles as Clay blushes awkwardly.  
"Well um... that's all I wanted really so if you're okay, then I'll get off. As I said, I was just checking. I'm um .. sorry that I had to call Jason, but when Sonny left I wasn't sure what else to do"

"Oh no, that's fine. Thanks for doing that. For, um... for not leaving me as you say I was pretty out of it. God knows what I drank. Must have been one of those shots. My head is sure paying the price this morning"

"Okay" Devon smiles awkwardly now unsure if to stay to leave he continues to lean on the door frame. He's just smiling and staring at Clay "Well if you're alright then I'll...I'll go."   
  
He turns to leave then turns back "You know it was a pity, that you crashed and burned like that. I thought we were just starting to get along" He gives this huge flirty smile and winks "I mean, you getting pretty.um... _friendly_ there for a while."

"I was?" Clay swallows nervously, he really doesn't remember that "Um... look I'm sorry, if I did, like I say I was pretty wasted"

"Oh, it's okay. I kinda liked it." he keeps smiling " Anyway if you ever wanna pick up where we left off, then you know where to find me. In fact, why not come for another massage? On your own this time. I mean, I'm not saying that you'd wanna go for a guy like me. It's um.. just a massage. You've got a good physique and I loved working on your muscles" he grins "Anyway I'll get out of your way; let you get that shower"

Clay hesitates. He feels a bit guilty, like maybe he led him on when he was drunk "Do you wanna come in? I'm making some coffee"

"You on your own?"

"Um... yeah"

"Okay" Devon smiles brushing past Clay as he enters his apartment.   
  
Clay closes the door behind him “Look, why don't I grab this shower and freshen up, and um.. you make the coffee. The machine's in the kitchen"

"Sure, why not"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay's in the shower when he hears the bathroom door open and the sound of Devon's voice "You okay in there ?"

"Um...err.. yeah. I won't be a minute" he washes the soap from his hair and as he opens his eyes he can see Devon watching him through the glass.

"The coffee's ready" he smiles. He's staring, looking at Clay's naked body through the shower screen "You know Clay, you have a really good body" he smiles again

Clay's a little taken aback. A little nervous at the intrusion. At first it feels strange having a man watching him in the shower, but as Devon leaves, he has slight smile on his face. He has to admit that he actually enjoyed the compliment and quite liked knowing that Devon was looking at him naked. His cock gets a semi life of its own, starting to stiffen again. But this time rather than give into it he ignores it. turning off the shower and drying himself.

As he enters the living room, Devon hands him the mug of coffee "So, you and Jason, how's that going?"

"Um... yeah it's fine" Clay feels awkward talking about it. He's wary because in the back of his mind he knows Jason wouldn't be happy if he found out he'd been discussing their relationship with someone else.

"Is it something serious there?" Devon's questions probe further

"Uh... no. No, I don't think so just err... you know" Clay nervously smiles he doesn't know. Truthfully he has no idea what Jason's thinking, because Jason left, and he hasn't heard from him since last night. As he sips his coffee his phone bleeps and he checks it "Oh shit! I'm sorry, I gotta go. We're um... getting spun up"  
  
Devon frowns, and puts his cup down "Sure thing, I know how it is"

Clay sees him to the door "Thanks for what you did last night. I really appreciate it. Maybe I could buy you a beer, just one this time" he laughs " when I get back, you know, to say thanks"

Devon stands in the doorway; his huge body fills the entire door frame. He's looking Clay in the eyes, scanning his chest and then working his gaze over his body. Clay wishes he'd put some clothes on as he feels like Devon's fucking him with his eyes.  
  
Then in a sudden move, that Clay wasn't expecting, Devon grabs at his semi hard cock.   
Clay takes a breath at the forwardness as Devon smiles "Were you flirting with me Mr Spenser?"

Devon continues to fondle Clay's stiffness. He has a really firm touch a little rougher than Jason, but it's a good feeling and Clay can't do anything except get hard. "You know, like I said, drop by the spa when you're back and I'll give those muscles a going over. Then you can buy me that beer as a thank you"

"Um... yeah look I'll ..I'll think about it"

"Clay you know .. what I told you, though you might not remember, but, Jason, he's not gonna give you the hearts and flowers, you do know that? I mean if you want more than a good fucking now and again, then it's not going to happen with Jason"

"Oh, I'm not looking for anything serious and I have no idea where it's going with Jason. I'm um.. I'm just enjoying it. But thanks for your concern"

"Okay, well I'm just saying. I know him and I know he won't commit to this type of relationship, aside from the fact you're a member of his team. It's never gonna be possible. But maybe the one night now and again is all you want. Maybe it will make you happy. All I'm saying is, you have choices. A good-looking guy like you, if you want more then there are guys out there for you."

Clay's annoyed now "Look I have to go but thanks for the advice. I'm quite happy with how things are with Jason for now thanks"

"Yeah, yeah I'm sure you are. That's why you didn't refuse me when I did this last night"  
Devon puts his hand to the back of Clay's head forcing a kiss. Pushing his tongue firmly, deep into his mouth. Clay can taste the coffee he drank and in shock he shoves him back   
"Stop! This isn't going to happen."

Devon smiles "Oh, but it is. Maybe not today but you'll be back, you're too curious. You need this, hell you want it. You know it and so do I. But it's okay, I can wait until you're ready."   
He kisses Clay's cheek, much more gently this time, but his hand can't resist firmly squeezing his butt "I guess I'll see you around"

Clay closes the door on him and takes a deep breath. He leans his head against the back of the door. He's confused. Some of what Devon did scared him, and some of it turned him on. He takes another breath trying to calm his fast beating heart "What the fuck happened there?"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Jason's in the shower.   
He headed back to his apartment earlier this morning, sneaking away while Clay was sleeping.  
  
He lathers the soap, working it all over his naked body. He's trying to wash the smell of last night from his skin. The faint scent of Clay's aftershave is still stuck in his nostrils and even the body wash smell won't get rid of it.  
  
"Fuck!" his head is spinning with confused thought. He turns off the water, leaning his forehead against the cool of the tiles "What the hell Jason. That was so stupid!" he sighs talking to himself. Berating himself for giving into his desires.

He wraps a towel around his waist, and heads into the living area. Taking the milk carton from the fridge, he puts it directly to his lips and finishes drinking what's left, making a mental note in his head that he needs to buy more.  
  
He paces around. Rubbing his head, his heart beating with rapid panic. He feels awkward, trying to work out what he's going to say to Clay when he eventually has to face him.   
  
He sits down on the chair, running his hand through his hair. His body is sweating from the heat in the shower. No sooner does he sit down than he immediately stands up; he just can't settle.   
  
Then he opens the text message and reads. "Clay!" He laughs. It makes him smile, the X at the end of the message.  
  
Then he sighs, and his smile changes to a frown. "A kiss a fucking kiss on a text, is this kid for real" His anxiety builds, and he rubs his head, trying to release the tension. "Shit! What the hell am I going to do now? I knew how the kid felt about me. Last night is only gonna make that worse. No, correction..." he looks at the X on the text again "_has_ made it worse."

He heads back into the bathroom and turning the water on again, he steps back in under the warm shower. The noise of the water dulls his senses and he scrubs as his body again.   
  
He can still smell Clay; he has this unique smell that lingers on Jason. Normally he loves his scent, so fresh and even if he doesn't like to admit it, sexy. But now, after last night he needs it gone from his body, he needs to forget what they did because he doesn't want anything that reminds him that he crossed the line. That making love, fucking Clay, was a step too far.   
  
As he gets another waft of that smell, he smiles, and images of last night flash in his head.   
He remembers how good Clay felt, the touch of his smooth skin against his hand. His firm butt muscles, how tight he was and the power he used to fuck him. Those thoughts alone are enough to turn Jason on again.   
  
His hardness is obvious, and he lean his hands on the wall in front of him, concentrating as the warm water runs over his nakedness, down his back.  
  
The sensation stimulates him more and he wants to get rid of this feeling. He can't see Clay later and have this feeling between his legs. And so, wrapping his large hand around his own stiffness he starts to jerk off. Slow, long strokes back and forward   
"Oh fuck!" he sighs speeding up his movements. He can feel his cock pulse under the touch of his hand. He's going to cum quick, the mere picture he has in his head of Clay waiting for him, ready, last night, it's too much stimulation and he tenses, groaning as his thick white cum shoots out mixing with the shower water, allowing it to wash away   
  
"Oh!!!" he groans, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as he relaxes. He steps out of the shower again and dries himself. Looking at his reflection in the mirror.  
"How the hell am I going to deal with Clay?" he sighs again listening as his cell phone bleeps.

As he checks the call, they're getting spun up. Looks like I'm about to find out"


	14. Should be fun.

Clay's dressed ready to go, in his combat gear. He's nervously waiting around in the changing area for Jason to arrive. Walking around, pacing anxiously back and forward, going in and out of his cage. He's apprehensively moving things around in there, then putting them back as he continues to wait. Then he checks the time on his watch, again. Time is getting on and he's close to being late, but he's desperately wanting to speak with Jason before they enter the briefing.  
_Oh, I need to go. I can't afford to be late, not today. That won't be good after last night.  
_

As he leaves the sanctuary of the locker room that's when he spots Jason in the corridor, walking with Sonny.   
"Hey Jace" he frowns, running down the hallway to catch them " Hey..hey Jason! Hi" he smiles acknowledging Sonny as well "Jason, could I have a word, before we start ?"

Jason looks at him and then checks his watch "Sorry but we need to get in the briefing, we're late already!"

"Five minutes, that's all I need "He looks again at Sonny, then back at Jason "It won't take long." He smiles at them both "I just need a quick word, it's about something important."   
  
Jason's annoyed by the interruption, and he takes a deep breath in "Alright you got two minutes! So make it quick."   
  
"Thanks " Clay smiles. As they turn around to head back to the changing room, Clay puts his hand on Sonny's chest "It's um..it's personal. If you know what I mean."   
  
Sonny frowns wondering _What the hell could be so personal that he can't be allowed to overhear them?  
_  
"Fine!" Sonny shrugs his shoulders "Just ignore me. I wanna get a coffee first anyhow. Can't do with another of Blackburn's boring briefings, without out more caffeine. Especially not after last night. You know those girls, they sure as hell know how to party!" He smiles and winks "You sure missed a good one there Clay. I could have done with ya as my wing man. That Stacey ... oh boy, was she some naughty minx!"   
  
He stops talking, just long enough, to notice that they both have very serious looks on their faces now "Well, I guess you had to be there." he coughs awkwardly "Yeah well, I'll leave ya to it then!"

Clay opens the door to the locker room. Jason enters, reluctantly. Crossing his arms in a folded position he crosses to the other side of the room away from Clay . He put a piece of chewing gun in his mouth and starts anxiously chewing, in a frantic annoyed way. Watching as Clay closes the door behind them, before wedging the weight of his boot against the bottom edge so that no one can get in.   
  
He's watching as Jason's now the one who nervously paces around. He enters his own cage then not knowing what to do, in this tense, one on one situation. So, he starts picking things up, toying with them for a few moments then just randomly putting them down again.  
  
"What the hell is this Clay?" he's blunt and sharp in his tone "We have a briefing room full of people, who are waiting for us, so they can start, so make it quick"

"I... I just wanted to say, thanks. You know for last night. You'd left before I could say anything this morning. To be honest I thought you would still be there, when I woke up. You know it being the first time and all"

"Yeah and so you said in the text you sent. I get the picture." Jason frowns I can see the questioning look on Clay's face "Oh, what, did you had your feelings crushed cos I forgot to kiss your goodbye before I left for work? Is that what this is about? Oh, so what Clay, grown up!"  
He shrugs hurtfully " Now can we get to this briefing, before Blackburn has both our ass's for his own enjoyment!"

Clay frowns confused "That's it? You're not gonna say anything about last night. No, I enjoyed it, it was great, thanks for giving me a good time. I don't know, something along those lines, something other than this ice man, I don't care routine"

"No Clay. No, I already told ya, that part of my life it doesn't come here. It and the Navy it doesn't mix. And you need to understand that. The Jason from last night and what he does...he's not part of my work life. " he takes a deep breath in, sighing "See...see, that's why this, it was a mistake. Sleeping with you, it crossed the boundaries I set. I knew it was a mistake and I knew you wouldn't be able to handle the reality of it"

"Jason!" Clay steps away from the door.   
  
He is right about one thing, his feelings are crushed. But everything he's saying now, it's making it worse, making him feel worse. Making him feel like what they did that somehow it was dirty, and most of all wrong. It might have to be a secret, but surely they could still enjoy the moment? That if it did have to be kept out of sight, then what was the reason for Jason to treat him like this, It didn't have to be like that. He follows him over to the other side of the room   
"Jace, look at me."  
  
Then he grabs hold of him and pulls him around, so they're staring at each other. He puts his hand to Jason's cheek before attempting to kiss his lips "I didn't get to say thank you. You know, I had a really good time and I'd um...I'd like to do it again"

Jason just stares at him. He's so annoyed with him. Fuming with anger that Clay's doing this now and he pushes him back. He's grabbing him by the collar of his shirt before slamming him backwards, hard, against the cage grill. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"I um..." Clay's flustered by Jason's venomous rage. Hurt not only physically by the force with which he pushed him back, but the emotional denial. "Look Jason, I just wanted to .. you know. I just wish you hadn't left like that." he sighs rubbing his head " I always imagined we'd wake up together, have breakfast, sit in bed and talk, cuddle that sort of thing. I'm sorry, I don't really know how all this works. How we handle this relationship now ?"

"Get the fuck away from me, alright! I already told you this doesn't come to work. That last night. That life, you need to learn to leave it there, in the bedroom. Don't bring it out here Clay. This might be a more tolerant world but trust me it won't wash, not between two Navy seals like us. Like I told it's nothing to with the male on male aspect, though...." he laughs dismissively "...that still is a big deal. But it's a relationship, any relationship. you know that"   
  
He takes a deep breath rubbing his hands through his hair and sighs " We fucked, Clay end of! You wanted it, I wanted it, we did it, but now that's where it ends. You knew what you were doing when you flirted with me, but I thought you understood. So, don't be coming around me like this and don't be texting me."   
He takes another moments pause. Again running his hands in his hair. He can see the hurt in Clay's eyes, and feeling slightly guilty about his behavior, he softens his tone.   
"Look, I'm not saying it won't happen again, just that I'm not planning it anytime soon. You were a good fuck and yes, yes I enjoyed it; there you go so does that make you feel better?"

"No, no it doesn't" Clay's lip quivers. He's hurt and more than a little upset. How could this be the same person from last night. The Jason last night was caring and showed him respect, he made sure he didn't hurt him. This one is going all out to destroy all those feeling and he's also a hurt by how aggressive he is "Okay, okay I get it. You don't want anyone to know. But is there any reason to act like this?"

"Clay, it's not that I don't want anyone to know, it's just they _can't_ know! Do you have any idea what will happen if anyone finds out ? Clay, you need to get real. What you want that kind of life out in the open with another man? Well then fine, if that's what you want then go ahead. Go find your perfect man, but don't be dragging me into it, cos it's not gonna happen"

"Jason please don't do this. I mean last night was great, and I know you cared, you cared for me. You weren't this this monster that you are now. I know you; this isn't how you are, not really"

"Monster? " he laughs "No I'm just getting real. You need to deal with it, cos this is how it is now".

Clay struggles with his emotions. Slamming his hand hard into the cage causing it to shake and the grills to rattle "Fuck!!!"   
His heart hurts and doubles in half, as he tries to get a grip on his emotions. He needs to, before the briefing. He can't be acting like this in there. He adjusts his uniform, tidying himself up and then takes a deep breath in _C'mon on Clay, get it together_!   
  
Jason stares at him "I need to go. I can't be listening to this anymore."

"Jason..." Clay calls him, stopping him leaving the room "..you know, there are guys out there who want me. Nice guys, ones that want more than to just fuck. Is that what I was to you? Just a fuck." He sneers angrily "Cos, you know I think Devon was right, he said I was expecting too much from you. And yeah I knew it wouldn't be all hearts and flowers, but I did expect a little more respect."   
  
He swallows the emotion that's building into a dry knot in his throat "You do realize, it was my first time. I mean I've never let a guy fuck me before, so it was special, and now..." his lip quivers again, an angry look on his face ."Well I'm just telling you, there are some guys who are offering me more"

Jason smiles "Devon? You mean you spoke to Devon about us? Yeah well he told me"  
He laughs "You know what he also told me? He told me he wants to fuck you. Just fuck you then he'll chew you up and spit you out." he smiles " You're saying you think that's all I wanted, _just_ to fuck, well I'm telling you, Devon's a whole new ball game. Don't go there Clay. You will get hurt. Devon is not what you think"

"What, hurt, like now? Hurt like you've hurt me, you mean? At least he won't break my heart right, cos he can't." Clay can feel himself getting angry, he clenches his hand into a fist, letting it go and then clenching it again "He can't hurt me anymore, cos you already did a great job of that, didn't you. But at least he cared enough to see if I was alright this morning, unlike you" Clay takes a deep breath in "Anyway, I guess it's nothing to do with you, who I see now. You seem to have made it clear that we won't be seeing each other any time soon"

"Clay.." Jason gathers his emotion "Clay, just trust me, and stay away from Devon. He doesn't care about anyone; he just takes what he wants. You'll be just be another notch on his bed post and trust me it won't end well for you. My best advice ...stay the hell away from him"

Clay smiles "Where the fuck do you get off, lecturing me, about getting hurt? Not after what you just did! For your information, I can see who the hell I like and it's nothing to do with you." he frowns just staring at him " So are you offering me more? No. No, you're not. You're not even offering me another fuck are you?"

"You know what, no! You wanna have sex again, then sure fine...fine we can do that again. But more ..more than that, no it can't happen" He takes a deep breath "Clay, you're on my team. I can't, hell I won't put my career and family at risk for you.I mean look what's happening now, after just one night " He looks at his watch "Just one night and we're already late for a briefing"   
  
He takes a deep breath and lets go "Clay, I can't do this with you now, we have to go. We will talk when we get back." he puts his hand on Clay cheek "I'm sorry alright. You want me to stand you down from this op? I can if it will be easier for you."

Clay laughs "Easier for me? Don't you mean easier for you. No, no I'm good. I'm a grown up I think I can handle some asshole who treats me like shit. I mean after all I should be used to you by now"

"Clay... Clay c'mon, that's unfair. Look, don't be like that. I told you I'm not doing this now, but we will talk"

Clay pushes past him in the doorway, ignoring him and strides down the corridor to the briefing

Jason leans his head back against the side of his cage "Shit!! I shouldn't have spoken to him like that" He rubs the tension from his forehead, before checking the time again. "Shit!! I need to go!"

As Jason enters the briefing room the guys from the team look around to face him. Sonny frowns wondering what's taken so long "You okay Jace?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm good, can we just get on with this, we wasted enough time already this morning"  
Jason looks over to where Clay's sitting he has his head down and won't look up to acknowledge Jason looking at him.   
  
Jason can feel the hurt that Clay has inside, and he's sorry for the way he spoke to him, he knows he shouldn't have done that. He'd lashed out, taking his own stress about the situation out on Clay. It was his fault they were in this position, he shouldn't have blurred the lines of work and play, after all he was meant to protect Clay, not hurt him.   
  
He now watches him as he sits there chatting to Sonny, and he's thinking _He looks so great in that uniform_. _It fits his body so well. _And he smiles, to himself, remembering how great he looks _Out of that uniform as well! _

Clay chews his gum, but he doesn't look up, even when Sonny nudges whispering to him "Hey, you okay Clay? You know if you gotta problem you can always talk to me. You know that right?"  
  
"Umm hmm" Clay nods. He eventually looks up and smiles at him "I'm fine. Honestly everything's fine" he smiles " But thanks Sonny it's good to know someone is looking out for me" His eyes glance up and look at Jason who's avoiding him now. He sighs

"Hey, you know Clay, that guy you were with at the club with last night, the one who said he'd take you home. Yeah well we got talking and would you believe, he used to be a Seal. So, I um... I've invited him for some beers, when we get back. You wanna come along?"

Clay smiles "You mean Devon that used to be some sort of _friends _with Jason. That guy?"

"Yeah, yeah that's the one. He seems a really nice guy"

"Yeah, yeah he is. Yeah sure, why not.I'm up for that, sure thing." he looks up smiling in Jason's direction "Why don't you ask Jason and Ray to come along too?"

"Yeah will do" Sonny nods, as the lights dim and Blackburn points to the screen.  
  
Clay smiles relaxing back in his chair. _Should be fun!_


	15. P.A.R.T.Y

"Oh, I don't believe this man.." Sonny shakes his head "..you win again!"

"Hey Sonny.." Devon smiles " I told ya I was good at this. Listen up, you bought the last two so let me get this round; Can't keep havin' ya funding my drinks all night." He places his hands on Sonny's shoulders and massages him "You know, you should come, get a massage. You're tense as hell there,brah! Gotta a lot of stored up tension, knotted in those muscles. A session with me and it'll make your back feel like it's twenty years old again. What you say?" he laughs loudly "You gonna come get naked and let me to work on ya body?"

Sonny frowns, though he knows he's probably joking, there's something that makes Sonny feel odd in his stomach, the way Devon mentions about the massage. But he's probably mis-interpreting his words, and laughs it off. "Seriously man, if you can make me twenty again, I might think about it. I know Clay said you was good and that the massage he had, it made him feel better."

"Oh yeah.." he turns smiling, towards Clay who's sat at the table watching them play darts "Clay enjoyed it. My _massage_ much more intense than he thought it would be. Aint that right Clay?"   
  
Clay's embarrassed, he just looks down at the bottle of beer stood on the table in front of him and doesn't say a word.  
  
"But then you have to know, Clay's got a really nice body to work on. His muscles, are not so tense. He's younger, and that frame hasn't taken as much hard punishment yet, not like yours and mine."  
  
Devon laughs and Sonny who's looking at Clay now feels slightly awkward and uncomfortable as his drinks his beer   
  
"No Sonny, in my experience, Clay's got one of those body's, that you just wanna get your hands on. His muscles are like dough in your fingers, easy to work with. But he's also got some very firm muscles too"

Clay puts his beer back down on the table. He looks away, desperately trying not to blush as Devon stares, smiling at him. His comments make Clay feel anxious and he avoids looking directly at him instead he looks around, scanning the people in the bar, and as he does he catches Jason's attention.  
  
Jason just stares at him, watching from his lofty perch on the high stool at the bar. Clay and him exchange glances back and forward. Clay smiles, but awkwardly Jason looks away and ignores him  
  
"You know I need the men's room. Sonny get me another beer when you go to the bar."  
  


Sonny throws the darts again "Seventy.... oh, jeez man! I think I'm gonna be buying drinks all night as this rate!"

"Hey, let's take a breather, we got plenty of time. Night's still young" Devon smiles as he watches Clay leave, headed towards the toilets.

  
  
They're sitting around the table as Devon brings back a tray of shots back with some more beers.  
  


"Oh no man!" Clay shakes his head "Not for me, not tonight. I had more than my fill last night , No I can't do another night of these."

"Oh, c'mon Clay.." Sonny laughs knocking back the first shot " .. what are you, man or mouse?"

Devon smiles pushing one of the shots in front of Clay. "Up to you man, but can't say we won't joke about it all night if you don't!"  
  


Clay looks at it, sniffs it, then looking up to he can see both, Sonny and Devon, willing him to drink it. Then without another thought he knocks it back in one gulp, placing the glass upside down on the tray. _Gaaahhhh! _He closes his eyes to the taste of the neat alcohol quickly sipping from his beer to cover over the residue lingering on his tongue.   
  
"Oh god no more, please! That was disgusting, certainly after last night."

They smile watching. He already looks like he's ready to heave. Devon slaps him hard on the back before smoothing his hand firmly across his shoulders. All innocent seeming to the world around them, but the way he smiles, the way his hand glides teasingly, Clay knows it's much more than just a friendly touch.

Ray's by himself, sat at the bar, slowly drinking the whiskey he has. He can't help but keep looking around checking on the group as they sit at the table behind him.   
  
Jason now moves from his side of the bar, pulling his stool up next to Ray. Slapping him hard across the shoulders to get his attention "Hey man, so what you watchin' sat here all alone?"

"Just watchin' !"

"Just watchin what?" he looks around to see what's engaging Ray's interest so much.

"Your _friend_ there?" Ray lifts his eyebrow in a disapproving way "Who the hell thought it was a good idea, to introduce _him_ to Sonny, and Clay?!"

"Who?" Jason tuns around and now he can see Sonny and Devon laughing and joking at the table behind. "Oh shit! What the hell's he doing here, with them?"

"You tell me!" Ray stares at him "Oh don't act like you didn't know he was here. So, is that where you took Clay? For the massage the other week, to Devon's place? What the hell made you think that would be a good idea? Explain to me, why exactly?"

"Oh,you know, I just thought the kid could do with _loosening up. _And not being funny, Devon's the best around here, for massages I mean"

"Plenty other places you could've taken him though, right?" Ray frowns "Oh c'mon Jason, Clay's as mixed up as any kid I know, and you take him and put him in front of that... that _animal _and then encourage them to be friends. What possible good can come from it?"

"C'mon Ray, he's not that bad, sure he's had his issues in the past, but he's moved forward from there now"

"Are you serious? Are you forgetting what happened, or just handling it like you normally do, by trying to just ignore it ? Brother, the man is a psycho!"

"He's changed Ray. He got help. Sorted his demon's out. He has a whole new life now"

"Well I hope you know that for sure? And I hope he really has, at least I certainly hope so for Clay, and Sonny's sake. Cos last thing we need is a dangerous stalker involved with this team, again!"

"Oh, c'mon Ray, you're over exaggerating. Sure, he had problems and okay, he... he got overzealous about our friendship"

"Overzealous?" Ray frowns "Jason, he was obsessed with you!"

Jason coughs and looks around making sure no one can overhear them "Look, I don't know, maybe at the time I gave the wrong signals ... you know maybe, I should've made it clearer that I didn't feel that way, wasn't interested in_ that_"

Ray laughs out loud, choking on his drink. "_You _should have made it clearer?" Jason the man had an obsessive crush on you! For god sake, he beat you up or don't you remember ?"

"It was a fight Ray!" Jason frowns and empties the contents of his drink into his mouth letting the fiery liquid simmer before gulping it back "He didn't beat me up. We got in an argument, and then we had a fight. It shouldn't've happened, end of! God .." he laughs "you're making it sound like we were in a relationship or something. We had a disagreement; we'd been drinking, and we had a fight."  
  
He sighs pausing, calming himself before he continues " I was drunk, and so he got the better of me. But it wouldn't happen again. I shouldn't 'ave drunk so much that night"

"Drinking? Yeah that's one word for it. Jason you were wasted!"

"Yeah well, that's why he got the better of me!"

Ray shakes his head and sighs "God knows what would've happened if... well, you know as well as I do what he planned to do that night, he'd have gone all the way. He was out of control. What possessed him to think that you even felt like that? He must have known you were straight, right?"

"Ray, it's a long time ago, things have changed. He's settled down now, got his business, got his PTSD in control. A whole new life. He's just out having fun, that's all. If it'll make you happy, I'll keep an eye on them."

"Yeah well you better hope for Clay's sake, they don't get left alone, cos from what I can see, he's already making it pretty obvious that he _likes_ Clay!"

"What the hell do you mean _likes _Clay ? Why do you have to say it like that?"

Ray laughs and drinks his beer. "You watch. The hand gestures, the little looks. The way he keeps touching Clay. He's making him feel uncomfortable. If I can see it then everyone else can too. He's doing it right in front of everyone, and he doesn't care who sees him."

"Oh, you're seein' things that are not there Ray. They're just having fun. Do you even remember what that is?" he sighs " Relax Ray, I've got this!"

"Yeah well make sure you have. Otherwise things are gonna get out of control" Ray takes his jacket from the back of the chair and puts it on "You know what, I'm going home but keep your eyes them. Cos I don't trust him." he sighs "See ya tomorra Jason. And remember what I said.... eyes on the road ahead!"

Jason takes a deep breath and orders another whisky. He glares looking over his shoulder, watching the three of them laughing at the table.

"So, who's for more tequila shots?" Sonny rubs his hands "I got a taste for them now, let's PARTY!!! Hey, maybe we could do that club again? We could see if those girls are there, maybe they have another friend we could party with, if you know what I mean? " He winks

"Or maybe....." Devon smiles "..we could just have a party of our own. What you say?" he smiles and winks rubbing Sonny shoulders with his large hands.

"Oh um..." Sonny feels awkward at the turn of events "Oh you know um... that's not really my scene. I don't mean to offend you and each to their own but what I mean is... well that's not my bag, sorry!"

"Oh Sonny!" Devon laughs "You so disappoint me" he pulls a sad face "Hey, don't worry, I'm just jokin with ya brah! You're not my type anyway" he winks "But, you know Sonny, you should never say _never _until you've tried it!"

Sonny smiles awkwardly and suddenly some of the shine has gone off the evening. He's not convinced that Devon is joking and as much as he doesn't have a problem with Devon being gay. Suggesting what he did, and they way he did. Well it's not for him. Then as he sits there he suddenly thinks back to the conversation he had with Clay. And he now wonders if this, this is the guy that Clay was telling him about.  
  
"Look I'll get us some more beers in!"

Devon moves seats around the table, so that he's now sitting right next to Clay. "So, how are you today?"

"Yeah I'm good. Well, I'm much better than I was last night. Um... look I wanted to say sorry, about that. I don't know what happened"

"Hey, don't worry about it. You know, I thought about it and maybe someone spiked your drink? It can happen, especially in clubs. I mean, you were so out of it so ... I'm just sayin' it wouldn't have been your fault, if that's what happened"

Clay frowns "You think, that's what might have happened? Oh my god! You know, I didn't think about it but I did feel pretty weird to be honest. Good job you were there then. I mean, who knows what might have happened. Easy to get taken advantage of, in that state"

"Well..." he smiles ".. if you hadn't been so wasted, then even I might have taken advantage!" he laughs "But you already know that right? "

Clay blushes awkwardly. He looks up and he can see Jason staring at them, watching. "Uh oh! Looks like the boss has eyes on me."

Devon turns around, he smiles then raises his glass towards Jason before taking a sip "Hey Clay, you wanna hit the road, get out of here. Go somewhere else ?"

"Um.. " he looks up at Jason again " Um no...no let's stay for a while, have a couple more drinks. What you say ?"

"Sure, I'm good with that. What ever you wanna do."  
  
Devon leans back in his chair placing his hand, with a firm grip, on Clay's thigh under the table. Clay's not so sure about this bold move, he sighs nervously wondering if the gesture is too open, too much in Jason's face. Sure, he liked the idea of trying to get his attention, even try and make him a little jealous but maybe this was pushing it a bit too far. Plus, he doesn't want Devon to get the wrong idea, to think this all might all lead somewhere. Because no matter how nice the guy is Clay's not convinced that he really wants to sleep with him, well not so soon after his night with Jason.

"You wanna play? Darts I mean" Clay asks, his thinking to get away from the table open up the space and take the pressure off anything happening between him and Devon

"Yeah sure." Devon gets up. He smiles, leaning his hands-on Clay's shoulders and massaging deep into his muscles before openly running his hand up Clay's neck. He smiles, his cheek against Clay's ear whispering "Hey, just relax. No one's looking at us, they're all just going about their business, they're not interested in us."  
  
He grins as he walks to the dart board and collects the first three arrows he'd thrown into it "So, Clay.." he smiles, he can see the now awkward look on Clay's face "..how's things, with you and Jason ? You go all the way yet?"

"Um... " Clay looks around nervously. Afraid someone might hear and unsure how much he really should say, even to Devon."Not good really!" He coughs trying to put on a brave face "We err... we did um... you know, the other night." He shifts from foot to foot awkwardly covering his embarrassed blushes "But now ...well now he's acting all cold and I don't think he wants it to happen again." he sighs as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Well that's Jason all over. Leads you on, then dumps ya, just cos he can't handle it. Me personally, I think he's mad. I mean who wouldn't want that body of yours, again and again."

Clay feels uncomfortable and he bites his lip. He wonders if it was a good idea to open up to Devon. He can tell that Devon likes him, but for Clay, it's too much, he's too open about his feelings. This is not the kind of _friendship_ that Clay is in anyway ready for. Being out in the open, exposed is a different feeling to the intimate privacy of the bedroom.  
  
"Oh, you know, I wouldn't say he led me on as such. I mean, I knew what I was getting into. But I guess, I just wanted more than he was prepared to offer me"  
  
He shrugs throwing his darts and as he walks back from collecting them from the board he stares over to the bar. He can see Jason sitting with Sonny and he smiles at him, hopefully, but he's wasting his time as Jason just looks away.  
  
Clay sighs out loud "You know what you were right, we're wasting our time here. Why don't we take Sonny up on his offer and go to that club?"

Devon smiles this huge grin " Now, we're talking. I'll just go to the men's room. Why don't you grab Sonny, tell him the plan."?

As Clay approaches the bar Jason gets up to leave "Need the men's room, catch you in a minute"

"Something I said?" Clay sighs watching him walk away "So Sonny, what you say, we go catch last drinks at that club? Devon's up for it too. "

"Yeah sure man. I'm ready, there's nothing much happenin' in here tonight. Hey Clay, before we go, what you think to this Devon guy? Does he seem, a little _over friendly_ to you?"

Hes' okay I just think that's just his way. I guess he's a hands-on guy being a masseur, right?" He laughs.

"Yeah, yeah I guess you're right. Never thought about it like that "

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Jason enters the men's room. He looks around and sees Devon by the sink, washing his hands. "Alright?" Jason stands behind him looking at his reflection in the mirror.

"Jason!" Devon smiles watching him without turning around "Yeah, yeah I'm good, and you?"

"Yeah good. I was um... surprised,to see you here. Didn't think it was normally your scene, a bar like this?"

"Oh, I don't know, it kinda has some attractions. I mean there's a lot of muscle and testosterone in here. Some of it's blonde and well... very cute!"

"You know you um... you caught Ray's attention."

"Yeah well, Ray was always a party killer!"

"He's worried. About you hanging around Clay and Sonny."

"Really? So, what you worried too Jason? You worried about me being around Clay? or perhaps you're jealous, hmm? Question is, who...who you jealous of? Is it me, cos I get my hands on your boy or maybe..." he smiles " it's cos Clay's gonna get what you don't?"

"Listen Devon, what happened between us, is a long, long time ago. We were both in a messed-up place and it's never happening again. Get that!"

"Messed up place? Is that you tell yourself? Is that how you justify sleeping with me all those times? That it was just some _issues_ you needed to work through. Cos if it is, then how do you justify sleeping with Clay? Oh yeah he told me. I mean how to you square away sleeping with one of your team Jason." he gives a huge smug grin "That's pushing boundaries, even for you, wouldn't you say?"

"Leave it Devon, alright! Don't involve Clay in this, between us. If this is about me and you then leave Clay out of it. Do you understand me?"

"Oh, get over yourself Jason, this isn't about you. Mind, I don't say no to a threesome if that's what you're thinking?" he laughs, as Jason glares at him.  
  
"You back off from Clay! Leave him alone! He's not ready for _your_ type of thing. He's not ready for what you're offering. You treat people like toys and he's not that"

"How do you know what I'm offering him? You worried cos I'm not all warm and fuzzy like you. I don't like being soft and gentle. No, I admit I don't. But I can show him how _real_ men fuck. You know guys like us, some rough and tumble. He's a big boy and he's certainly got the physique to rough it up a little. Oh what?" he laughs "You worried he might enjoy it more?"

"He won't enjoy it; I know him too well, it's not his kinda thing. Devon, I'm warning you... don't go near Clay, otherwise .. .." Jason stops. He coughs awkwardly as someone enters the bathroom, then with no more opportunity to talk he looks up and glares.

Devon smiles, a huge smug grin "You know I have to go. Your boy wants to go out and play. Don't wait up!" He blows Jason a sarcastic kiss "Hey and Jason, don't worry, I'll try not to be _too _rough with him. Let's catch up soon, hey!"

_Fuck! _Jason sighs scratching his head. He stares at himself in the large mirror, taking a deep breath while he thinks.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Hey guys!" Devon' back beside them at the bar. He places one arm around Sonny, and one around Clay's shoulders. "So, we ready to P.A.R.T.Y?"

"Hey....Sonny Quinn is party king, he's always ready to party!" Sonny makes a sound like a wolf howling "Show me where the ladies are!"  
  


Just as they're leaving, Jason catches Clay in the exit doorway "You off?"

Clay looks at him, staring him in the eye "Yeah, maybe.Though what it's gotta to do with you I don't know."

Jason sighs. "Clay don't be like this. Please let's just talk"

"Look, we're just going to that Club okay. It's Sonny's idea. He wants to see if those girls are there again. Supposedly they like to party!" He smiles "You know, I thought I might get myself in on some of _that_ party action too!"

Jason takes a deep breath in." Clay don't do this . Don't go with him. Trust me when I tell you to stay away from Devon. He's not what you think."

"Yeah, so you said before. Well, he seems pretty cool to me. And he's not afraid to say what he wants. No hang ups!"

"He's not afraid to _take_ what he wants either. Clay please trust me, don't go there. Not with him" Jason sighs "Alright, look fine if you must, then make sure it's what _you_ want. And stay in control, cos if not, then.... then he'll take it whether you're ready or not."

"Listen to yourself! Who the hell are you .." he looks around and hushes his voice "..who the hell are you to lecture me about anything. You know, I can handle myself. And I'm not as naive as you think I am. I know what he wants. And I know what I want. No one is leading me astray here. Just cos you can't handle how you feel about what we did, it doesn't mean I can't. Now if you excuse me I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow Jason."

Jason looks dismayed as Clay leaves with Sonny, and Devon. He sighs. _Well don't say I didn't warn ya! Just do what you like, as usual._  
  
"Hey," he pushes his empty glass toward the barman "Can I get another JD in there!"


	16. We both know what you meant

As they enter the club, the strobe lights hit their faces and the sound of the thumping music is deafening. The beat vibrates hard in Clay's chest making his heart pound. The mixed scent in the air of peoples sweat and perfume stirs memories left over from last night. Making him feel like he wants to heave.  
  
When Blackburn said the mission had been pushed back this morning Clay couldn't have been more pleased, mainly because it meant he could sleep off his hangover, but also because being near and around Jason was uncomfortable and so the idea of being stuck on a mission, for a few days, with the way things were between them was, he considered, going to be unbearable.  
  
As he walks down the steps onto the dance floor the sweaty smell of clubbers hits his nostrils. It makes him retch a little as memories of just how drunk he was last night flood his brain.

They weave their way through the throng of moving bodies to the back bar, and its quieter sanctuary. Clay's really starting to wonder why he decided to come, because it certainly wasn't somewhere he wanted to be right now. If he was honest, he only really said he would come to spite Jason, and now stood here, it seems like a really stupid idea.

"I’ll get us some drinks" Sonny shouts out over all the noise.

"We'll find a seat!" Devon guides Clay to the first empty booth that's available.   
  
As they sit down Clay notices how much presence Devon has. Sitting down he fills the whole bench seat. He spreads his legs wide, leaning with his really thick set arms in a crucifix position on the back of the benches. Clay watches him for a while not saying a word. Devon’s eyes closed absorbing the beat of the music his head nodding along.   
  
Clay hadn’t really taken in before just how big Devon was, his arms looked like he must work on them daily, the huge biceps and the thick muscles in his thighs, remembering how firm but also how gentle he could be when he was massaging him.   
He almost looked too powerful to be that light with this touch. He certainly wasn't a clumsy guy, not like Sonny could be. No Devon was more in control, but Clay knew he really must've been a force to contend with when he was a seal. He certainly wasn't someone you'd want to get in a fight with.   
  
"You okay?” Devon smiles seeing Clay looking at him.   
  
Clay nods, giving him an anxious grin in return "Um... yeah. Yeah I’m good. You know actually, I probably shouldn't have come. I still don't feel great from last night"

"Nonsense. What you need is to relax. Enjoy being yourself. Clay, no one in here is judging you. You can be what you want._ Like_ who you want, right. In here anything goes"   
  
Devon leans forward reaching across to where he's sitting, and he rubs his hand up and down Clay's leg. His large strong hands are groping at the top of his thigh, and around near his groin and Clay looks around, nervously watching Sonny at the bar "Yeah, I’m not sure I really can. I mean...." he nods behind him.

"Oh hey, I’m sure Sonny's cool, right? I mean he's your friend and I don't think he's one to judge. He's probably seen a lot of weird stuff in his life. You liking guys, as well as girls... nah he's not gonna bat an eyelid. So, just relax."

"Yeah well.... you know, I’d rather you didn't make it obvious, not in front of him. I’m not sure I'm ready for that, or to be honest, if he is. It's not something we've really discussed."

"Oh, well looks like Sonny's gonna be occupied anyway."   
  
Devon nods over his shoulder, watching the two girls from last night approaching the bar. Both he and Clay can hear their whiney sounding voices as they get closer. And they smile watching the white blonde one putting her hands all over Sonny, while the other hangs off his arm.

They're at the table now. Joining Clay and Devon they sit down. Sonny places the tray of shot glasses on the table and one of the girls puts the bottles of beers down beside it.

"Hey, how you doin?" she smiles as they push their way in, sitting either side of Sonny.   
  
Clay smiles as Sonny winks at him. "So, ladies, what you say, we do some drinkin, some dancin then back to mine for some partying?" Sonny smiles leaning his arms back against the seat as the first girl, Abbey, leans against his chest kissing him   
  
"Sounds a good plan to me. You know how much I enjoyed _last_ night. Hey, are your friend's gonna join in tonight?" she smiles, wickedly teasing him.

Her friend, Lisa, smiles, her eyes drop flirty as she sits watching Devon who's moved himself around to sit closer to Clay on the red, leather, covered seat opposite her. "So, you two a couple?" she asks innocently.

"Um.. no! No um.. no, no way!" Clay frowns stuttering awkwardly. He sits himself up straight and moves his hand into his lap, so he doesn't look like he's touching Devon.

"Why? Would it bother you if we were?" Devon winks and flashes her a bright white, sexy smile.

"No! No, not me. In fact,...." she bites her lip smiling, her voice dropping to a husky whisper   
"I think you look cute together. Really sorta sexy. You're both so _manly_ looking, perfect bodies. So, you just gay or... you know, you up for girls too?"

Devon leans forward and smiles at her licking his lips staring her right in the eyes "Oh I’m up for anything honey!"

She smiles crossing her long legs, her skirt rising even higher up her thigh, almost showing her panties "Well then... " She picks up one of the shots and knocks it back in one glug " looks like we're in for a great evening then, aren't we?"   
  
She leans back in her seat. Taking a deep breath in that pushes her huge cleavage, that she's managed to someone how squash into the little red dress, out towards them.

Sonny shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He frowns looking at Clay, who's trying not to look at anyone. He just drinks his beer, his eyes wander, gazing around the club. He's so regretting coming now and he's trying to think of an excuse to leave .

"I'll go get some more shots then. What you say Sonny, we partying at yours?" Devon flashes another huge grin.

"Um.. yeah, yeah sure. Whatever you want."  
  
Sonny says it but deep inside he's a little apprehensive. He's not really sure what kind of _party _Devon means. Yes, sure he likes the guy, and he definitely likes the girls, and even the idea of a threesome crosses his mind.  
But Sonny's mind is still ticking over. The kind of three way he's interested in doesn't involve anything happening between him and Devon, or Clay for that matter. But he's not so sure that Devon's ruled it out. He can tell he defiantly swings both ways and now Sonny looks at Clay wondering if there's something between the two of them.   
  
Sonny sighs, then to take the edge off his concerns he knocks back a couple of the tequila shots. _Accck!!_ "Jeez man what the hell! Cheap tequila! That stuff is gross." He smiles watching as the girls both knock back some more "You not havin' some Clay?"

"Oh no, no not for me. You know I think I’m gonna go soon. I’m not really feeling it tonight"

"Awww!" the girl sitting across from, Lisa, pulls a pouting face as she moves over to fill the position on the seat left by Devon, rubbing her hand on the top of his thigh.  
  
"You know I was so looking forward to some action with you, and your friend. I um..." she bites her lip in a sexy, teasing way "..I find two guys together hot. I mean...really, really hot!" She leans against Clay's chest running her hands on his muscles, brushing her lips against his. While he tries desperately to not to get turned on. "So, you not up for this party tonight then?"

"Yeah Clay..." Devon smiles as he returns from the bar "the lady wants to know if you up for it?" He places the tray,with more shots, on the table in front of them. Taking one off he hands it directly to Clay "Here drink! It'll liven you up. Make you more up to partying!" he smiles

"Oh, you know I’m well... well I'm okay thanks"

"Oh, shut the hell up, Clay. Just drink it!" he turns around and hands one to Sonny "Kids these days, they got no stamina for anything."

Sonny smiles, though he still very unsure about Devon and he's not convinced if Clay's really gonna be up for anything. He can see how anxious his expression is.

"You wanna dance with me Sonny?" Abbey takes his hat from his head, placing it on her own as she teasingly runs her hand over his face. Her fingers raking through his hair while she squirms her groin on his lap that she's now sitting across.   
  
He smiles, now forgetting all about Clay, placing his hands on her hips and she begins to grind as if she's giving him his own personal lap dance. He smiles more, remembering some of her moves from last night, and now he can feel a tightening hardness growing in his pants "Oh yeah baby!" he groans totally losing himself in the feelings "Work that, yeah c'mon let’s dance!"

Clay laughs, smiling as he sighs shaking his head. _Sonny! _

"So, you wanna dance too?" Lisa asks

"Um.. no, no I’m good! But thanks. Dancing's not my thing, sorry"

Devon smiles running his hand up Clay's thigh, massaging the area between his leg and his groin "No sorry honey, but Clay's still hungover from last night. Here get this down ya, you'll feel better soon!"   
  
Clay takes the glass as Devon thrusts it into his hand, but he stands it back on the table "I'll drink it in a minute. I don't feel so good!"

"Oh well still you feel really good to me!"   
  
Lisa watches them, licking her lips as she smiles at Devon. The both of them keeping eye to eye contact. Devon can see the spark in her eyes as she watches him rubbing his hand in Clay's lap. "So, what’s your name?"  
  
"_Lisa!_" her tone is almost breathless as she speaks

"Well _Lisa,_ you wanna party with me and Clay?"

"Umm Humm!" she smiles "I sure do."  
  
"You ever done it with two guys before?" he smiles smugly

"Uh uh! No normally, it's me and Abbey with a guy, but ... _mmmm _I like the idea of it, especially with two guys as sexy as you pair!"

Then before Clay can even think about what's going on Devon puts his hands around Clay's head clamping them to his cheeks, pulling him sideways towards him then he forces his tongue into his mouth. His eyes fixed the whole time on Lisa. He knows exactly what he's doing and that he's turning her on.   
  
She smiles watching them kissing and fidgets in her seat, Devon's right it is turning her on. She's squirming against the red leather seating, she can feel herself getting wet just watching these two really fit guys in action with each other "Mmmm!" she groans, biting her lip, her clit pulsing at the thoughts of being sandwiched between this pair of them in bed "God you two are so hot!"

"Come, sit here with us." Devon sits her between him and Clay.

Clay sighs out loud. He's not sure if he’s relieved or even more concerned that she's sitting between them. He wasn't expecting Devon’s forceful kiss and he's not sure what he's supposed to do with this girl sat between them now either. Tonight, is definately not going how he expected, and as he looks around he glances at Devon, who now, has his tongue wedged deep inside Lisa’s mouth.   
  
He takes at deep breath watching as Devon opens his eyes, staring over her shoulder, while he continues to kiss her, looking deep into Clay's blue eyes.   
  
Clay can tell he's smiling, and he can also feel Devon’s large hand is on this groin massaging firmly against his cock, trying to bring it to life. Clay's willing it to stay down. Not wanting to seem like he's encouraging this in any way. And apart from that, he doesn’t find the girl attractive. And certainly, had no intentions of a three way with her, and anyone.   
  
He's worrying now about going too far with Devon. It's not something he wants and if he's really, really honest, he's missing Jason. Missing his touch on his hardness, on his body, on his lips. He closes his eyes trying to imagine the feeling, but he can't because Jason was softer, more tender with him. Devon's just rough, he is almost hurting him, as he feels him squeezing at his balls now.   
  
"Um..." he jumps up suddenly. "You know, sorry. I need the men’s room!"

Devon sits back and smiles "You need a hand in there?"

"Um.. no. No I just need to pee!" He blushes, he's not exactly sure why he said it like that. He just wanted to get away " You know .. " he frowns at the girl as he looks at Devon "..you know, I’m not sure this is my thing. Sorry. I just ...well it’s not something I really wanna get into"

"Okay!" Devon smiles "I know, you prefer one on one. I understand totally."   
  
Devon frowns at Lisa, he can see her look of disappointment. Devon could see from the off that she had a huge crush on Clay, and he was the reason she was putting herself forward for the threesome. "Hey Baby, why don't you go find Sonny and dance. And ... well, I’ll be right there in a minute. I'll see if I can change Clay's mind for ya, just give me a minute with him alone."

"Okay" she pulls a sad face running her hand across Clay's chest as she gets up. Sliding herself over his lap, brushing her breasts against his arm. Then she squeals as Devon slaps her, really hard, across her ass cheeks.

"Wow!! I wonder if she's as tight as her ass is. I'll bet she's not as tight as you are though" he smiles leaning into kiss Clay again.

Clay puts his hand against Devon's chest making the gesture of holding him back. It's the first time he's felt his body and he didn’t realise how taut and tight his chest muscles were. This guy is seriously strong.  
  
"Um... look, you know ..." he sighs "I think I’m gonna go home. I’m not sure I’m in the mood to be here. I rather some peace and quiet if you know what I mean"

"Oh, don't spoil it. It's early. Look, you're not into the threesome that's fine. We just can palm her off on Sonny later. Don't worry about it. She'll be so drunk in a while she won't know who she's fuckin or givin' head to"

Clay frowns wondering how Devon can just think like that. Does he really not care if he fucks her, him or both of them? It’s not a feeling Clay likes "Look, I'm sorry, she's just not my type I mean ... that sort of thing. It's not me."

"Okay, I told ya it's fine. So, we'll ditch her. Not a problem to me, I was only going along with-it cos I thought she might help you unwind." He pulls at Clay's hand forcing him back down into the seat "But that's okay. Cos, I can help you unwind all by myself. If one on one is what you prefer?" he bites at Clay's lip "I mean I know how you've been giving me the come on since we left the bar. So, you wanna ditch the party and go back to yours?"

"Um... "Clay smiles awkwardly "Sorry, I think ... look I don't .. um.. I didn't realise I was giving you signals ; you know I didn't realise..."

"Oh, c’mon Clay, seriously? You didn't realise. What the way you’ve been giving me the flirty eyes in the bar, the little gestures, touches. Kissing earlier. It's plain for everyone to see how you're begging for it."  
  
He slowly moves his hand between Clay's legs forcing them apart and his fingers finding Clay's balls, sitting nestled in his tight jeans _Mmmm_ "God you feel good, but you're enjoying being a tease aren't you! Playing all innocent. I get your game. But don't worry I like it, but don't play it too long, cos I get frustrated."

Clay takes a deep nervous breath, he feels ill. He's been trying really hard not to lead Devon on, but he wonders how he's let him manage to mis read his signals. How does he now think Clay's been playing the tease?  
  
He has to concentrate his mind hard as he tries really hard not to get turned on now because he doesn't want to give any false signals. But Devon is so good at massaging him, his cock is responding all by itself to his firm grip and rubbing his balls together. And even if he doesn’t want it, he still has to admit it feels so good.   
  
_Mmmm_ he lets out an unconscious groan watching as Devon smiles There's nothing he can do as his body keeps responding to the forced touches.

"Awww see" Devon smiles . He can feel Clay's near full hard on "Such a tease you are!"

"You know I need to go!"

"Not yet!" Devon pushes him back in the seat, stroking his cheek with his large hands. He's so much bigger than Clay and he struggles underneath his huge body trying to hold him back as he gropes his hands over Clay's chest.   
  
Clay's eyes dart around the room, frantically hoping someone will see that he's not willing in this and that someone will help stop it. But he realises that in here, among all the writhing bodies he's gained no one’s attention because all around him are couples in similar positions, kissing and groping. To the outside world they just look normal two guys having a kiss and fondle.

"Um... we shouldn't, not here!” Clay finally surfaces for air.

"Not here? Okay, so how you wanna do this? You know the way you’re turning me on Clay you gonna have to give something. How about a blow job in the men's room? Just to calm me down because I’m hot to explode all over you baby."

Clay smiles awkwardly trying to think what it is exactly he's doing that's turning Devon on because it really isn't his intention.  
  
Devon sensing his apprehension backs off "Tell you what, I’ll get us another drink You want a JD? You want cola with it ?"

"Um.. yeah, yeah sure!" Clay sighs relieved to have some respite desperately trying to think how to get out of this situation. _Where the hell's Sonny? _Clay sighs as he leans back in the chair rubbing his hands over his head.   
  
Devon at the bar gives him a breather from the groping and the snake like feel of his tongue. _Shit! Jason might have been right. I can't handle this!   
  
_Now he's worried, not so much for what they're doing, but more about Sonny seeing them. He really doesn’t want him to think there's something going on, or even worse it getting back to Jason.

"Hey Clay... what's happenin?"  
  
Sonny suddenly appears behind him with both of the girls at his side. Clay notices how sweaty they look and how Abbey's breasts are nearly falling out of her dress now. Sonny continues to massage his hands over them while he kisses into her neck. Clay can see he’s already made several red bite marks. And as she turns around her make up's all smudged from the sweat of the dance floor  
  
"Clay you gonna join us? " she smiles

Clay takes a breath checking the bar " You know what Sonny; I don’t feel so well I’m gonna go!"

"Oh, oh, okay! Where's Devon he's not going with you ?"

"No! No um...he's at the bar I’m gonna go on my own." He stands up rapidly making his mind up that he wants to leave "Tell him I'll catch up with him later. I just need to go. You know um... my heads dizzy, I feel sick I can't be doing this again tonight"

Devon's back from the bar "So where's Clay?"

"Oh um..." Sonny shakes his head, trying to focus as Abbey's all over his face "..he didn't feel so good, so he left. He err... he said to tell you he'd catch you later!"

"Oh okay..." he smiles watching Abbey as she dry humps Sonny as he sits there "You know you two need to get a room. I'm almost tempted to join you!" he smiles

Sonny frowns "Here you may as well have Clay's drink" Devon hands him the JD and cola and then leans back watching them "No please continue. I really enjoy watching you. Lisa, come sit here!" he spreads her legs and gets her to sit straddling him "You were getting left out, can't have that can we" he forces his fingers inside her panties

She groans as he flicks them on her clit "Aahhhhh!" She smiles "No don't leave me out. I wanna play too!" Hmmm she groans as two of his large fingers enter her while she sits across his lap. She can feel the enormous hard on in his pants "Seems to me you need a little light relief. Something's got you all turned on there" she leans forward kissing him "You want me to take care of that baby?"

Devon smiles leaning back as he drinks his drink and Lisa starts working her kisses around his neck "You know excuse me a minute Sonny, I just gotta take care of somethin. C'mon on then you!"

Devon takes her hand and leads her into the toilet stall. He pushes her down on to her knees unzipping his pants. "Oh take me baby!" He thrusts his huge cock into her mouth " Clay got me so turned on out there"   
  
She frowns for a minute but as she looks up from her position on the floor he smiles at her stroking her hair pulling the front of her dress down he plays with her nipple pulling and twisting it hard.

_Mmmm!_ She moans, her mouth filled with his huge hard cock. He grabs her hair and holds her as he thrusts into her mouth "Oh yeah baby.... that's good. Take all of me!"

Lisa can barely get her breath he's so fast with his thrusts she pulls back gagging "Woah slow down honey ... You're kinda big there, give a girl has to take a minute to take it"

"Shut the hell up and just get on with it!" he closes his eyes. Grabbing her hair tight in his fist and shoving himself back against her lips forcing them apart. He's imagining this is Clay and he pulls out as he cums "Oh fuck!!! Oh yeah baby!"  
  
He smiles leaning back satisfied. While she wipes his cum from her face with the tissue. She stands up and leans forward to kiss him "How about you do something for me now?"

"Sorry, I have to go. Something I need to take care of" he kisses her as he zips his pants up "Have a good time with Sonny though!"

"Hey wait ... you're not gonna join us?" She frowns pulling her dress back into place as he opens the cubicle door and leaves.

"Oh no it's not for me. I got better things to do tonight. Sorry"

She frowns as he lets the door go "You asshole!!"

Devon smiles “Yep you got it!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Abbey's all over Sonny. He can feel her huge breasts pressing against him as he remembers them from last night bouncing around as she sat over the top of him with Lisa caressing his hair.  
  
It makes him smile but now he’s thinking about just fucking Abbey again, alone this time, if Devon's gonna take care of Lisa, who seems attracted to him. Yeah as much as he enjoyed last night, he now just craves some one on one time with Abbey. Having to satisfy two women was exhausting especially when drunk.

"Hey Sonny!”

He surfaces from underneath her curvy form to try and focus on the person standing over him “Jason! What the hell are you doin’ here” he shoves Abbey to one side and sits up realising now how drunk he is "Oh man , sorry”

“Sonny, you okay?”

“Umm Humm” he nods incoherently  
  
“I’m just going to the ladies’ room. Sonny I’ll be right back” she smiles pushing her chest against Jason as she slides past him to leave, hesitating in front of him, looking up she smiles “You know Sonny, you got some good-looking friends. You reckon he wants to join us too ?”

“Um.. no! Abbey just go use the bathroom.”   
  
"Clay here?" Jason frowns looking around.

“Err… no. No, he went home. Said he didn’t feel too well. He's still hungover from yesterday if you ask me”

“Was Devon here, I mean did he come to the club?”

“Err .. yeah, yeah he’s um… he’s just taken Abbey’s friend, Lisa to um.. to…” he coughs “Well you know”

Jason frowns “So he’s still here? He didn’t leave with Clay?”

“No, not that I know of. Why somethin' happened? Something wrong with Clay?”

“No! No we just had words, I just wanted to apologize. Look you want me to take you home? You seem pretty drunk there”

“Nah .. nah I’m good me Ab’s are gonna do some more um... _dancin’_ first” Sonny winks

“Okay, well if you’re sure then I’m gonna head home”  
  


**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay's just taken his shirt off, ready to shower. He’s enjoying being back in his apartment which in contrast to the noise of the club is peaceful and quiet. He closes his eyes as he takes beer from the fridge and relaxes, leaning his head back against the closed fridge door. He takes a deep breath in thinking about the events of tonight.   
  
As he takes another sip there's a knock at the door. He checks his watch, frowning _Who the hell is that this time of night?_   
  
He heads to the door and unlocks it “Oh um… Devon?!” he frowns confused and surprised “What can I do for you? You know how late it is?”

“Oh, you know…” he smiles “Sonny, he gave me your message… _see you later_?” he winks “ I knew you couldn’t resist”

"What? Oh.. um... no! No that's not what I meant I’m sorry you mis understood. That was just something I said like, s_ee you around, catch you later. _I didn’t mean…”

Clay may protest but it's too late, Devon has pushed is way inside and his hands-on Clay’s cheek “Oh we both know exactly what you meant. Don’t we!”


	17. This is gonna happen

Jason sighs, running his hand through his hair as he looks at the screen on his phone. _  
Do I call Clay or to not? _He closes his eyes taking a moment to think . _  
_

_Shit! _He sighs again. Pulling his pants down his legs, before taking them off and dropping them over the back of the chair in the corner of the bedroom. He's left wearing his tee shirt and boxer shorts as he throws back the quilt on the bed and climbs in.   
Laying his head back against the pillow, hands tucked behind his head, he stares at the ceiling, quietly contemplating and reflecting on the situation with Clay.  
  
Another long ,loud and frustrated sigh unconsciously escapes his lips, and five minutes later he flicks the bed side lamp back on. _Shit!_ He looks down, checking at his phone again. _  
Clay Spenser, my god you are so damn annoying! _

Getting up out of the warmth of the bed covers, he wanders around the apartment. Taking the milk out of the fridge, he drinks it straight from the carton while he continues to to pace around the room.   
  
All he can think about, as weaves his way back and forward across the room, is the way he behaved this morning. _  
You know, I really should apologise to Clay. But why, why should I? _He's having the same argument with himself over and over. Telling himself he owes Clay, owes an apology for the way he spoke to him, the way he treated him after the night before.

_Yeah but will Clay even accept an apology? You know what he's like. No, wait, just sleep on it. You know him, he wont appreciate you doing it tonight. Go to sleep. _

Jason gets back into his bed, laying his head down, feeling the comfort of the soft pillows before switching out the light. He lays there, in total darkness, his eyes looking up but unable to see ceiling. He's still sighing and still unable to sleep. He turns over, checks his phone. He brings up Clay's number in his contacts and his thumb hovers over the call button. _Shit! What is he doing to me?  
_

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay backs away, pushing Devon's hand off of his cheek "Look you should go. It's late and I need to sleep. I have work tomorrow and you.... well, you know this really isn't a good idea"

"Oh, but I think you're wrong. I think it is, a good idea." Devon smiles continuing to stroke his fingers on Clay's cheek "Oh c'mon Clay, seriously? Are you still playing hard to get. You've been teasing me all night, begging to get to this point. You know this is gonna happen, right?"

"No, no, sorry you need to go, right now!" Clay turns the lock on the door pulling it ajar slightly. Unfortunately Devon's not only much stronger, but physically taller too.  
  
He puts his hand over the top of Clay's head and slams the door shut. He now has Clay trapped between the door and his body. He smiles "C'mon Clay, stop playing around now. Just give in to it. You know, you can make this easy or hard but either way, this is going to happen tonight"

"No! No see, no it's not. This is not what I want. I don't want you. I'm sorry"

"So what? You were just playing with me? Using me, trying to make Jason jealous. Is that it? Cos you know, I don't take kindly to games like that." he takes a deep breath in trying to calm himself "Let me tell you something Clay, about Jason. If he told you no, then it's no. He doesn't do this, this clingy, needy stuff. Nor does he get jealous. So, you need to wake up, cos you're only fooling yourself if you think it's going any further. But that doesn't mean that we can't have some fun, right? "   
  
Devon smiles as he lays his hand on Clay's bare chest, running it gently over his muscles then down his abs before trailing back up over his biceps. "You're a good-looking guy Clay. Why would you think I wouldn't want this? I mean you spent all evening leading me on"

"No!" Clay ducks under his arm. He's too quick for Devon as he backs away towards the couch "Just go! Please. I don't want this. Maybe...maybe I thought I did, but I don't"

_Hmmm!_ Devon frowns "Well it's too late. You shouldn't tease so much. You should think more carefully how it will affect people. I couldn't have made it any clearer that I wanna sleep with you. So, what makes you think I'm just gonna let it go now? I mean after all, no one actually knows that I'm here, do they?"

Clay swallows nervously, he can feel his heart beating hard in his chest. He doesn't know what to say but this brain is asking himself, _Why the hell didn't I listen to Jason earlier? _Jason knew this guy, he warned him. _But no, no you had to be clever. You had to prove a point. Maybe I did encourage this?   
  
_ "Just go please!"

"I don't think so. You know I'm surprised that those shots you drank, didn't have more effect on you tonight? I mean you were pretty wasted last night"

"I only drank one, so why would they?"

Devon smiles "Oh well, never mind. So, you gonna show me the bedroom or would you rather we do it, here on the couch?"

"We're not doing anything. You're gonna leave." Devon steps forward and Clay finds himself once again trapped between him and the breakfast bar. "Just go!"  
  
"Oh, I'm not going anywhere, at least not until the morning" Devon now grabs his head in his hands, forcing his mouth onto Clay's, his tongue thrust deep into Clay's throat.

Devon's so big and strong, but Clay summons all of the strength in his body and pushes him back with force. "Get the hell off me!"

"Oooo!" Devon smiles "Feisty! You know I like that in you. You wanna play rough? That's good, I like rough!"

Clay takes a breath, looking around for anything he can use as a weapon. But then he hears a sound, it's the stupid ringtone he has on his phone and they both turn, looking at the source of the noise. Clay remembers this phone is on the kitchen worktop, and he can see the white of the screen flashing with Jason's name. He wills it towards him but there is no way that he can reach it from where he is.

" Oh, I don't think so." Devon smiles

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

Jason sighs as he puts the keys in the ignition of his truck then starts it up. He sits for a moment letting it idle, listening to the humming sound of the engine while he thinks. _Oh, God damn you Clay! It's one am. For god sake answer the phone. _

Jason's spent the last hour tossing and turning in his bed and now he's decided that he really needs to tell Clay what's been on his mind, for most of the day. But as is normal, anything Clay related, is not easy. _Why won't you answer the damn phone? For fuck sake! _Jason punches the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. _Why do you have to be so damn annoying ? Urggghh! _  
  
Frustrated, angry and annoyed he's determined that he will be heard, tonight. He puts the truck in drive and pulls out of the parking lot .

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"You know, I'm probably getting spun up" he lies "I need to go!"

"I don't think so!" Devon laughs "You know I did that job for long enough. I know how it works. You get a central text, not Jason calling you personally, for a spin up. No matter how close you are. Anyway, forget him. I told you, you and him, you're going nowhere. He won't mess with his team. He's too precious about it. Crossing that line, it's something he can't handle. Remember if he can't handle it then it'll be _you _that's looking for a new team. That's the way he works. He'll cut you off"

Clay swallows nervously, trying to keep Devon talking so that he can distract him, keep his hands from touching his body. "It's not like that. He cares for me; I know he does"

Devon laughs, stroking his fingers down Clay's neck and gently running them along the lines of his chest muscles, and then over his nipple. "I don't think so. Jason doesn't do that. Not with his men. Hell, he can hardly maintain that kind of relationship with a woman.So, you have no hope"

"You're wrong. I know you are." Clay desperately looks around for his phone "Just cos he wasn't like that with you, it doesn't mean he can't do it with someone else or with me!"

Devon laughs. But this time its an angry, annoyed and frustrated laugh. Then suddenly Clay closes his eyes. He feels like he's going to pass out, as something hits him hard across the cheek.  
It's the crunching blow of Devon's hand, as he slaps him hard across the side of the head., knocking him sideways onto the floor. _  
  
Awww! _He grimaces in pain. His jaw aches and he can taste blood on in his mouth _Fuck! _"What the hell?"

"I told you. I like to play rough. You know, I told Jason this was gonna happen, but what did he do about it? Nothing. Nothing, cos he didn't care."

"You told him that you were gonna sleep with me?"

"No I told him I was gonna fuck you but.... but he didn't seem bothered. He certainly didn't try to stop me. I mean, you'd think if he was so _into _you, then he'd have at least done everything to not let this happen" he smirks "He knows how I like it, sex. That I like to play hard and rough but I'm up the challenge, I like to work for it."

Now Devon's on the floor beside Clay, his weight laying on top of him. Forcibly holding his hands against the floor his knees pinning Clay's legs apart, as he licks his tongue down his cheek.

"I said get the hell off me!" Clay pushes his body forward, resisting against his grip "Just stop it! This not happening."

"Oh, c'mon Clay relax. You know what, I should have really done this yesterday. I mean, I had you right where I wanted you, but stupidly, I got greedy. I wanted you to know what happened between us, Shit! That was stupid. I should have just taken it then."

"You . .. you spiked my drink didn't you?"

"Hey!" He smiles " What can I say, just wanted to loosen you up a little. Don't worry it was just supposed to just relax you. I mean you're so uptight all the time. I wanted you to enjoy it, not to hurt you too much. You know I have a reputation for being a big guy" he smiles trying to kiss Clay's mouth again.

Clay forces his head to turn, pulling away from him. "Get the hell off me, I'm warning you!"

"You're such a good-looking guy, Clay. I'm surprised it's taken this long for Jason to even think about it. Mind, in my opinion, he always has to think things over too much. He can't just make a decision and do it. He has to think it all through, all the pros and cons, before he acts"   
  
Devon now forces his lips against Clay's. Clay kicks out, struggling against his grip, pushing away from the heavy weight of Devon laying on top of him.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Jason sighs as he sits in the parking lot outside Clay's apartment.   
  
_Shit! What the hell am I doing here? Look at the time. Oh, this is stupid. I should just go._

_H_e leans his head back in his seat, then hits call on the phone again. Part of him wants to see how well received his presence will be, before he makes a fool of himself.

The phone once again goes to voice mail. _Shit! Clay, why they hell are you ignoring me? Just pick up the goddamn phone. We need to talk.  
  
_ He bites his lip as the bleep to leave a message blips in his ear "Look Clay, it's me... I'm...I'm here,in the parking lot, downstairs. If you wanna see me , then call me back."

He sighs, cutting off the call. He leans his head back again, grinding his teeth in frustration.  
  
_What if he does sleep with Devon? How's that gonna feel? Especially if you don't say what you need to say? Oh c'mon, you know Clay, he'll do anything to go against you. Shit! Oh, this is so dumb. Why the hell are you just sitting here? Go upstairs, or go home!  
  
_He gets out of the truck. Then standing beside it, with the door open, he looks up the building to the windows of the floor that Clay's apartment is on. He's almost physically willing him to call back .  
  
_ No, no this is stupid. You don't need to apologize to him. What happened, happened, just leave it there. He was the one who was being the ass and you warned him, about Devon, what more can you do? He'll have to find out for himself! _   
  
He sits back in the truck the keys back in the ignition slot. He closes his eyes. Fuck!   
_Oh godammit!_ He opens the door and again he gets out. _Fuck! _

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay struggles under the weight and force of Devon's grip. Managing to get one of his hands free he connects a punch with Devon's jaw. There's a loud cracking thud, the sound of his fist punching out, hitting his cheek bone.   
  
For a moment Devon lets him go. Holding his hand to his cheek. Crunching his jaw around trying to ease the pain "You ... fuck!" Devon laughs. He's impressed by the power of Clay's fist "Oh, I'll give you that one. Nice shot"

It's just enough of a lull in Devon's attention for Clay to get out from under his grip. He hauls himself up to a standing position and now he's ready to fight back. But again Devon lurches towards him this time grabbing Clay's fist, as he throws another punch. It allows Devon to twist Clay's arm behind his back.

"Awww fuck!! Let go!" Clay cries out in pain. The force Devon uses makes Clay afraid that he's going to break his arm "Get the hell off me !"

"No way, not now! I like the way you punch though. I mean, like that you fight back. But I've had enough of messing around now. You owe me, and I'm taking my payment."

"No!!" Clay finds himself crashing down onto the ground. His face hitting the floor. He feels likes he's going to black out and though he hasn't got his eyes closed there's a burning pain in his forehead "Fuck!" he screams out "Get the hell off me!"

Devon smiles. Clay can feel him pulling at the zip on his jeans "NO!! No, GET OFF!!!"  
  
  
Devon's pulling at the material trying to force them down over his butt. Now he can hear the sounds of Devon grappling with his own belt. Undoing the clasp.   
  
Clay wriggles and fidget's underneath him trying desperately to pull away. But the force Devon has on his arm is making it impossible. The more he moves and pulls, the more Devon struggles to hold him and undo his fly at the same time. _Shit! _"Keep still! Relax and just make this easy on yourself."

"What? You seriously think I'm gonna let you do this?" They both end up grappling on the floor Clay doing everything to get from under his grip.   
  
Then Devon's laid against Clay's back, pinning him to the floor. The air feels like it's being squeezed out of him. Then suddenly the both stop.  
  
They lay still and silent. Frozen to the spot on the floor as they hear the loud knock on the door. It's Jason. He decided he had to say what was on his mind and he's now waiting, pacing the hallway outside the apartment. _  
  
He's probably asleep. This was stupid, coming here. He's probably ignoring you for the sake of it. Fuck!_

Actually, the fact that Jason thinks he's being ignored is infuriating, and he knocks even harder on the door this time. _  
  
You know, who the fuck do you think you are, Clay Spenser? You think you can just ignore me until you choose. _"CLAY... open this fuckin door up!"

_Shit!_ "Jason." Devon frowns

Clay breathes a sigh of relief. But then suddenly he can't breathe at all, as Devon's hand covers his mouth. He tries to fight against it, but in the position he's in with Devon on top of him, his arms pinned back. He can't move.  
  
_Mmmm! Mmmm! _he groans, trying to bite at Devon's hand.

"Shut up!..... Shhh! Be quiet. You're only gonna make this worse for yourself"

"CLAY!!! Clay open the goddamn door, or I'm gonna break it down. Who the hell do you think you are, ignoring me?"Jason sighs and then walks away from the door.

Clay almost laughs as he can hear Jason. He but he's concentrating on trying to breath. _Mmmm!_ He kicks out, trying with every ounce of strength to push Devon off. He twists around, just enough to get his mouth free "Jason!! ....HELP!!!"

"Fuck you Clay. This is the last time I try to apolog...." Jason stops, mid sentence. Standing still as he hears a noise in the apartment. He stands quiet, listening. He walks back toward the door, putting his ear to it  
  
"Clay?" he frowns " Clay, you in there? Clay... are you alright?"

"Shit!" Devon pulls a firmer grip on Clay's arm.   
  
It's hurting to the point that Clay feels like a bone might snap soon with the force he's using. Awww!" he cries out. 

His cries, though muffled, are loud enough for Jason to hear it. "Clay! ....Clay, open this door now! Seriously, open it or I really am gonna break it down."

"Shit!" Devon thinks fast about what to do. He looks down at Clay pinned underneath him. His shirt off and his boxer shorts exposed "Oh what the hell!" he smiles as he pushes Clay's head tight against the floor. Clay can barely cry out now He can feel Devon using his free hand to continue undoing his belt.

"NO!! No!" Clay cries into Devon's hand that's wrapped around his mouth.

Jason's outside. His brain ticking over, wondering what's going on inside then he realises something might be wrong "DEVON !! Devon are you in there?" He sighs, his ear back tight to the door, listing to the sounds from inside . He bangs hard on the door "Clay.... what the hell's going on in there?"

"We're fine! Go away Jason, this is nothing to do with you. We're just, you know, fooling around. Clay, didn't wanna tell ya, but it's better you don't know the details."

"Jason!!!!! .....Help!! " Clay musters all his strength and manages to call out.

Now Jason's concerned. He barges his shoulder against the door, but it doesn't give. _Fuck! _  
"Clay! One of you open this door, right now!" he frowns frustrated, slamming his hand hard against the door "Devon, I don't care what's going on, open this door up, right now!"

"Trust me Jason, stay away! Better you don't see what we're doing."

"Devon, I'm warning you. Open this fucking door right now! "

"Sorry I can't. Your boy needs teaching a lesson. He shouldn't fool around, not if he can't handle himself. Leading me on. Using me to try and make you jealous. You caused this Jason. You brought him and dangled him in front of me. Now you both learn a lesson."

"No!" Clay struggles as much as he can. He can hear Devon pulling down his jeans, his knee on Clay's back,holding his hands.

"Shit!" Jason barges the door again and again, but no movement "Open this door!!"

"Mmmm" Devon smiles "God Clay, you're gorgeous."  
  
Clay takes a deep breath he can feel Devon's touch on his back "No! Get the hell off me. Jason HELP!!!"

Jason closes his eyes. He's trying to think how to get in there. "Devon you stop right now. Right now or ... or...or I'm gonna call Alex !!!"

Devon stops. He doesn't move. Laid on top of Clay, holding his hands tight together in his hand "You wouldn't fuckin dare!"

"Oh I would. You open this door, you've got 3 seconds to open it, or I call!"

"Fuck!" Devon's wondering if Jasons' bluffing, can he take the risk, dose he want to?

"Don't test me Devon! .... ONE!!!...... TWO!..... Th...."

Devon's up off of Clay. He's at the door, unlocking it. "Stop!"   
  
They both stand in the doorway, face to face, staring at each other. "You wouldn't really, right?"   
  
Jason gives a sly smiles as he holds up his phone, the name Alex on the screen his thumb hovering over the call button. " Oh, wouldn't I ?"

Then there's almighty crack, as Jason's fist hits Devon full in the face, filled with angry force. It's so hard that it knocks him backwards. Jason's fist hurts, his hand covered in blood as Devon stands holding his bleeding nose. "Fuck you Jason! What the hell was that for?"  
  
"You know exactly what it was for!" 

Devon angrily lurches forward, grabbing Jason's waist, pushing him over. There's another loud thud as Jason punches again, followed by the crack of Devon's hand hitting back at Jason's jaw. It's now a full on scrambling fight on the floor between them, until there's a loud bang and a sound like pottery breaking.   
  
Clay's up on his feet, his jeans still undone loose around his waist, as he hits Devon over the head with the side table lamp.

"Fuck!!!" Devon rocks back from the shock. Staggering until he falls backward on to the floor. There's blood trickling down the side of his face. For just a few moments he's stunned, the pain in his head throbbing.   
  
While he has the chance, Jason scrambles to his feet, rubbing his jaw he picks up his phone from the floor. He's taking deep breaths, frowning "You alright?" He looks up and he can see the bruising on Clay's face "What the hell is going on here?" 

Clay's taking anxious breaths as he holds his head. He can feel the cut where he hit it earlier when he crashed down on to the floor. "Yeah" He nods "Yeah, I'm okay! I'm fine "   
_Shit_! He's wondering how this all got out of hand so quickly. His body shakes involuntarily as the adrenaline starts to subside. Shaking, he realises how much trouble he was in.  
  
Devon's still holding his head in his hands He smiles wryly looking at Clay "Guess it was Jason to the rescue this time..." he turns back to Jason "instead of Ray!" He laughs

"You just need to get the hell out of here. Then you stay the hell away from me, stay away from him. You stay away from my team, full stop or I will make that call! Are we clear?"

"Fuck you Jason! Listen to you" he laughs "You were the one started this, cos you couldn't stay away, could you? No, you had to show off your new toy. _You _were the one trying to make _me_ jealous. You brought him to me for the massage. You knew what might happen."

"No! That was me being naive, I wasn't thinking. The last time I spoke to you, you said you had everything in control now, that you were better. I just needed somewhere safe to....to come. It was stupid it was me wanting to have him. I shouldn't have done it, you're right. That was my fault. But it was never anything to do with you, it was about me. About me get gratification because I wanted him too much. I should never have crossed that line. Now you need to get the hell out of here !"

Devon looks around and glares as Clay "You listening to this? I hope so, cos you know he'll hurt you, just like he did me. He'll never give you what you want, he can't. He can't admit what he is, what he likes."

"Yeah like you'll never be what Alex wants you to be. You need to sort that out. You need help. Ray was right, you're an animal and you shouldn't be around people until you get it in control. But I am to blame too I should never have brought you into Clay's life. Just go! Go home and then get some help Devon."

"You two make me sick, know that. Don't talk about me needing help, you need to look at yourself first. I'm going but don't worry, but this isn't the end of this!"

"Yes it is! I told you, you stay away from Clay, or you'll regret it!"

"Oh, I'll stay away from Clay, don't worry. He's too needy for me, and I thought for you too. You use to be more of man, Jason" Clay swallows nervously as Devon gets up. He smiles at Clay, pushing past Jason as he leaves 

"Oh shit!" Clay bends squatting down, head in his hands "Shit!.... Shit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I should have listened when you warned me about him"

"No! No, I'm sorry. I should never have let you go with him. Honestly I thought he'd changed!"   
  
_Awww! _"Clay I'm so sorry". Jason bites his lip as he stands in the doorway. He's looking at Clay, stood there half-dressed and he feels guilty for what nearly happened "Clay I'm sorry." Jason takes a deep breath, his nerves making him shake"It's late, I should go. We'll talk tomorrow"

"Wait!" Clay frowns "You came here for something, and now you're gonna go? After all that, you're just gonna leave?"

"I'm sorry I have to. This, this proves why we can't happen" 

"Jason ......wait, stay!"

Jason turns looking at him "Clay I can't... "


	18. Party at yours

**WARNING NSFW Chapter**

"So, what? You're just gonna leave." Clay frowns, he's angry as he watches Jason who's holding the front door open.

"Clay, I'm sorry,I can't stay. What happened here, that was my fault. And oh my God that could have ended so badly! I'm just glad I got here in time. But me staying, that won't make it better. I'm sorry."

Clay's watching him, biting his lip while he quietly thinks about what happened "So, what, cos an ex of yours can't control himself, you now think you should leave? That I won't still want _you_" he's exasperated "Jason, how the hell are you responsible for what he chose to do?"

"I told you. I can't stay. I came here to talk, and now, well now what I had to say, it doesn't matter"

"Jace, please, don't go." Clay takes a deep breath in "And you didn't just come here to talk. So, that's bullshit!"

"Yeah I did. Clay, I'm sorry but I do have to go." he sighs "I told you before, me and you together, it crosses way too many lines." Jason closes his eyes; he can feel a tight knot of emotion building up in his throat "I put you in danger and I don't want that. If we take things further between us, then that's exactly what I have to do. Every single day, every spin up we're on, I have to put you in danger. I don't think I can do that, not if we get closer. Not without someone seeing how I feel about you"

Clay laughs "Jason, I'm gonna get spun up whether we sleep together or not. And you're still gonna have to watch that happen. So, what difference will that make?" He sighs looking at him "What? You think you won't feel anything, for me, if we don't fuck? You know that's a lie. The only difference is, we don't get the good stuff, the stuff when we come home. We don't get to comfort each other when things go to shit, and we don't get to have great sex "he smiles, tilting his head as he watches for a reaction from Jason "I know which I'd prefer"

"Clay, stop it! I told you, this, us _can't_ happen! I know you want it, but sorry it can't and that's my final decision."   
  
Jason turns around opening the door a few inches ready to leave but there's a loud banging sound. It's the sound of Clay's hand forcefully slamming the door shut. He slams it so hard that it takes Jason by surprise. "No! No. Who the hell said you get to decide? No, I don't think so!"

"Clay c'mon..." Jason turns and looks at him "please, don't make this worse. Just let me go"

"You know what Jason" Clay's angry now "shut the hell up!"   
  
He forcibly pushes him back against the door, before taking his head in his hands, forcing his own lips against Jason's. His tongue invading the whole of his mouth, while pressing his bare, naked chest tight against his body. After the initial intensity of the kiss dies down, he releases, pulling away. Just standing there staring at him "So, you still wanna leave?" Clay unlocks the door and opens it "Go then!"

Jason stares, watching him. He smiles.   
  
This sudden forceful attitude of Clay taking control, it stirs something in his groin. His eyes glance downwards, over Clay's topless chest. The soft tone of his naked bare skin, the curve of his toned pec muscles and the small tight bud of a nipple sitting there, willing him to touch. He's so tempted. Then slowly and gently, he lightly runs his fingers over the shape of it. A smile breaks out on his face as he looks Clay in the eyes "No! No, you know I don't wanna leave"

"Good!" Clay smiles "Then don't. Stay the night with me" Clay leans forward, his hand on Jason's cheek, his fingers feeling the stubble on his chin. Then placing his mouth over Jason's he kisses him. It's a long, deep, passionate kiss. It has a real want, a need and desire behind it. He enjoys the feel of his tongue against Jason's as they taste each other.   
  
Jason's hands work their way around his back, stroking gently across his firm muscles, his fingers graze gently down his spine. The feel of his warm skin under his hand is comforting and he wraps his arms around him. He wants Clay so much now, his hard on growing and groaning against the groin of his pants. He has a desperate longing that he wants to fulfill.   
  
Clay feels the same way too. He holds back, smiling. Jason only inches from his face. Rubbing their noses against each other he grins "Lock the door. We don't want any interruptions do we."

Clay undoes the rest of the buttons on his fly, pulling his pants down, taking them off as he heads towards the bedroom doorway. Jason leaning against the front door watching him. He's admiring his toned, almost, naked body. Clay, wearing nothing except for the tight white boxer shorts, which cling to his growing hard on, straining to hold it in.   
  
Clay grins. He knows the effect he's having on him "Are you coming to bed?" He smiles as he disappears into the dark of the bedroom.  
  
Jason hesitates looking at the door. _Shit!_ He rubs his hand through his hair as he puts his hand to the lock. Taking a deep breath. Just for a moment he wonders if he should still leave, then looking back to the bedroom doorway he smiles and drops the catch on the lock. He takes off his jacket, and pulls his grey tee shirt over his head, taking it off and throwing both items of clothing onto the couch.   
  
He lets out a loud sigh of relief. Looking around at the mess he frowns but then he ignore it and follows Clay into the bedroom.

o-o-o-o--o-o-o

Sonny and the girls are so drunk. They're all really hot and sweaty from dancing. Sonny's switching his kisses between the pair of them.

"Sonny, are we going back yet?" Abbey whines, tired "We could carry this party on at yours?"

Sonny kisses her "You wanna party at mine?" he smiles

"Well I do!"  
  
Lisa looks around, staring face to face with Devon. He's leaned over the back of the seating, watching them. She frowns "Oh look, Mr Asshole is back! What the hell do you want?"

"Yeah um... look I'm sorry. I owe you an apology. About earlier. Look, I just needed to sort something out. Turns out I wasn't needed but, well it doesn't matter. What you say, can we start again? Be friends. "

Lisa smiles as Devon runs his hand over her butt and kisses her "So, Sonny is she right,about taking this party back to yours. I'm up for it, are you? "   
  
Sonny turns frowning. He's had way too much to drink to make rational decisions "Yeah, yeah sure I'm up for it. But how 'bout some more tequila first?"

"Yeah" Devon smiles "Yeah sure. You know what, I'll get it. You stay there. Let's make it a night to remember!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay's leaning over the bed, he's still wearing his boxer shorts and they stretch tight over his butt, while he organises the quilt on the bed.

Jason smiles, placing his hand on the curve of his ass, His hand feeling the shape and then his fingers finding their way into the waistband. He smooths his finger, teasingly along the inside edge. His other hand working down along the curve of Clay's spine and massaging gently over his back.   
  
_Mmmm!_ He moans, taking a deep breath and filling his nostrils with the scent of Clay's aftershave. It overcomes his senses, a sweet mix of perfume blended with sweat and testosterone from the fight earlier. He groans, pushing his hardened groin against Clay's butt. Rubbing it, teasing both of them. Clay feels a sudden pulse in his cock and it twitches in his shorts. Pumping and filling with blood, the erection stretching the tight cotton.   
  
He groans too, the firm touch of Jason's hand, feeling its way into the crease of his ass. Jason's fingers now inside his shorts, touching and teasing him with a promise of more. Clay tempts and teases him in return by subtly pushing his ass back towards Jason's groin.   
  
Trying to turn around from the bed, he wants his mouth on Jason's again. But Jason doesn't let him, instead he takes control. Holding him in place so he can't move. Forcing Clay to drop his hands onto the mattress to support himself as Jason loosens his shorts.   
  
Now he's tugging them down, exposing the hard toned body beneath them. They're awkwardly at his knees and Clay uses his foot to push them down before stepping out of them. Now he's completely naked, positioned, bent over the bed.  
  
Jason smiles looking at him there. He runs his hand softly up his thigh, continuing up his hip and then gently snakes around over his stomach. His fingers softly drawing the lines of Clay's abs as the hand smooths over his navel and then follows a line straight down to the hard of his cock. It's firm, gasping, waiting and longing to be touched.   
  
Clay closes his eyes, his lips part in anticipation of the sigh of pleasure that he's about to give. And when Jason's hand finally does wrap itself around his hardness it throbs against the touch. He keeps his eyes tight shut and his senses have to work harder. He's enjoying the feeling of Jason's palm stroking in long firm movements down the full length of his cock.

Jason can't help but smile, how solid it feels in his hand. A firmness like the rest of Clay's muscles. and though he's never said it, he now longs for it inside him. For him to experience the pleasure of Clay fucking him. But he shakes off the thoughts, concentrating on the pleasure he's going to give Clay.   
  
Leaning his bare chest over Clay's back, and nuzzling his nose into his neck. He takes another deep sniff of his testosterone filled sweat and Clay's back pushes his body, up and down against Jason's chest, he can feel how hard he's breathing with anticipation of their fuck.   
  
Clay wants this so much, his hips thrusting, forcing his cock back and forward against Jason's hand. Willing him to tighten his grip, to dominate him. But instead knowing it sends him wild Jason toys with his senses by removing his hand and moving it up his chest, tweaking his nipples. Pulling and twisting on them. _  
  
Mmmm!_ Clay groans to each touch of the hard tugs and squeezing . As Jason plays with them the more Clay mumbles his pleasure.

Changing it up Clay collapses on to the bed, turning over on to his back so that he can look at Jason.He puts his hand up stroking his face. Jason putting his hand gently on Clay's, the back of his fingers smoothing gently over the large bruise on his cheek. He's trying to will it away, wishing all the hurt and what happened earlier could be gone. "I'm sorry!" he sighs

"Hey..hey Jason, it's fine. It's not your fault. Just forget it. Come here!"   
Clay's hand reaches forward, grasping firmly on his neck. He parts his lips, his tongue licking teasing Jason's mouth. Snaking his arm around his shoulder as they continue to kiss.   
  
Jason's the first to break the connection. Working his tongue down Clay's neck, tracing a line over his chest. The firm muscles twitch under the flicking motion of his wet tongue. Jason's mouth hovers then takes his nipple. Sucking and biting.   
  
_Mmmm! _Clay groans as his hips involuntarily buck forward in pleasure. Clay breathlessly sighing._ Oh fuck! _His cock twitches and his pre cum starts to leak. He just can't contain how horny he's feeling right now. He opens his eyes smiling, his hand grasping to find Jason's nipple before twisting and pulling gently the small peaked button between his thumb and finger.   
  
He wants more than kissing it's not enough to satisfy him now. He untangles himself and helps to unbutton Jason's pants. While Jason pulls them down his legs, taking them and his shorts off Clay rummages in the side drawer of the bedside table. He takes out the bottle of lube, and packet of condoms he threw in there when he tidied up earlier.

He finds them and throws them down on the bed. Jason smiles looking at him in the dim light of the bedroom "Someone's feeling horny?"

"Only me?" Clay questions as Jason stares at him

"No!" Jason laughs " No, not only you!"

Clay licks his lips, leaning back on his elbows to sit himself up, watching as Jason stands between his thighs looking down on him.   
  
Jason can see Clay's full naked glory. It's laid there waiting for him to touch and he absorbs every inch of his skin. It stiffens his cock looking at this beautiful sexy guy waiting and wanting him.   
  
Clay gets the full view of Jason's naked body, only inches from his own. His huge cock standing out proud. Clay sniffs in the smell of Jason, the scent of his sex and smiles at this guy who he wants so very much. He gently reaches his hand out, stroking up Jason's stomach, lightly with the tips of his fingers as they exchange smiles.

Jason takes a deep breath as he continues to look at Clay ._ Everything you said you wouldn't do! Now you're gonna fuck him again when you said this had to stop! _He berates and argues with himself in his head.

Clay must be able to tell the conflict going on in his mind "It's okay. Jason. This, it's okay. I know what we're doing. I know how it has to be. Out there... I know." he smiles "But in here, it's just me and you" He reassures him.

"Yeah" Jason sighs ". Yeah you're right. We can handle this"

Clay smiles wickedly teasing and before Jason's knows what's happened Clay has hold of him, throwing him on his back, down onto the bed. He's now pinning him down. Straddling his legs over his waist. His mouth is back locked on Jason's lips. His tongue plunged deep and wanting into his throat.  
Jason gasps for air, he can't get enough of him, his fingers tugging at the curls on the back of his head, looking at his naked body sat over the top of him _  
  
"Oh fuck Clay, you're so hot!" _Jason groans. He can feel Clay's groin grinding against his own. It's an intense feeling that messes with his mind and his senses. He almost feels like he could cum right here he's so on the edge of his orgasm. He thrusts forward pushing their hips together.   
  
Clay's tongue is now mirroring the moves on Jason , that he just made on him. Working his way down to his navel. Jason's hands locked tight in his hair gripping and pulling as he thrusts against the warm feeling of Clay's mouth wrapping and slurping around the stiffness of his cock.   
_  
Mmmm!_ he lets out a long groan _Oh fuck!!! _The pleasure is intense. He continues fisting his hair. Pushing his hips forward to fill his length into the back of Clay's throat. Clay's mouth taking all of him right to his balls.   
  
It's such wild feeling that Jason gasps pulling out suddenly. "NO! Fuck no! Not yet." He can see Clay's game. Trying to make him cum first, but Jason's not playing. He grabs at the bottle of lube "Come here!" he beckons with a firm commanding tone.

Clay leans forward and their mouths find each other. Clay straddled across his chest, kissing his mouth down hard on his lips. Jason grabs at his ass, kneading his cheek muscles firmly. "Keep still!"   
  
Clay nervously holds position, hovering slightly over his body. watching as Jason rolls the condom down the length of his cock. "I said come here!" he beckons him up his body further.

Clay watches as he squirts a large amount of lube on to the ends of his fingers then lifting Clay's butt he works the creamy liquid in between his cheeks. Massaging it in deep around the entrance to his body. probing him inside with his lube covered finger.   
  
_Mmmm!_ "Oh, that's good!" Clay groans closing his eyes. His cheeks clench in pleasure around the intrusion _Mmmm_! He continues to moan as Jason carries on working the cream in. Coating him inside and out, taking it further by inserting a second of his fingers inside him.   
  
_Mmmm! Oh god...Oh yeah! _Clay loves the feeling and moans continously against the scissoring action Jason's makes. Stretching and playing with him. _Awww!_ he grinds moaning against Jason's hand.  
  
His nipples peak and Jason watches him sat over his body, grunting against his touch "You ready?"

Clay hesitantly nods as Jason slowly withdraws his fingers and Clay makes a grab at Jason's cock. Lifting himself up hovering ready over his hardness. He slowly lowers himself down onto the thickness of Jason's dick. Jason pushing his hips forward, he's not giving Clay a chance to back out of the commitment now.   
  
_Oh god!!!! _Jason grinds his teeth as his cock sinks tight into the soft firmness of Clay's ass. It's so intense "So good!" _Oh fuck!_ He thrusts hard. His hands-on Clay's hips forcing his apprehensive body down against him until Clay's sitting, firmly rooted against the full length of his hardness. It fills him with an intense burning pleasure. The entire length, ball deep inside him.  
  
_Awww!_ He breaths out breathless. It's much more intense than he remembers. _Mmmm!_ He continues to moan as he adjusts. There is pain but it's slowly easing. He rests, taking a moment to get use to the full feeling. Jason smiles watching him, stroking his hand down Clay's back "You okay?"   
  
Clay nods silently, while his body relaxes then Jason smiles as he lifts him up. Then he pulls him down fast and hard against his erection. _Awww! _ Clay cries out. First with some pain then in intense pleasure as Jason's cock hits his prostate.   
  
"Oh my god!" He smiles at Jason. This time lifting himself up. He wants that feeling again, Jason can see it and he smiles. He can see the pleasure in Clay's eyes as they start to bounce and thrust bodies against each other. 

_Awww! FUCK!!! Mmmm_ Clay groans, he doesn't shut up as Jason thrusts harder and deeper.  
  
They're both sweating as he grips Clay's hips firmly, grinding him tight against his condom clad dick. "Ride me Clay!"

Jason smiles, relaxing, putting his hands behind his head on the pillow. Only using his eyes now as Clay rests his hands-on Jason's chest using it to push himself up and forward riding Jason's dick hard, and fast under his own control.

Both of them are smiling as Clay's ass slams hard against Jason's length down to his balls. _Mmmm!_ He groans the rhythm just right for jerking Jason off with ass while his cock massages at Clay's prostate.

Clay thinks he might explode soon, and he looks up almost asking for permission to cum. Jason smiles and then closes his eyes concentrating. He runs his hand over Clay's chest _FUCK!!_ "I'm gonna cum!" Jason sighs

Clay's head goes back exposing his neck and Jason sits forward kissing it as he feels himself fill the condom with warm creamy spunk. _Mmmm!_   
  
Clay feels it too, the warm in his ass and with that his cock explodes all over Jason's chest   
  
"Oh hell! Sorry!" Clay smiles apologetically at not holding out longer. His legs shake and he collapses forward completely wrung out. _Fuck! _

Both sweaty and covered in cum. Jason smiles at him. Kissing his lips as he rolls off and goes to the bathroom. Returning after cleaning himself and disposing of the condom, he comes back with a towel to clean Clay. Then cuddling him, wrapping him in his arms. Clay lays his arm over Jason's chest and his leg over Jason's thigh as he closes his eyes. His head resting against Jason's shoulder he looks up and kisses him.   
  
Then they rest laying tangled in each others bodies and Clay sighs wistfully

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. But I ... I just wondered"Clay hesitates "I just wondered why did Devon back off so quick, when you said you'd call Alex?" he frowns

"Clay,just leave it alright. Let's not do this now. Forget about Devon. He's history."

"No, I need to know." He leans up on Jason's chest looking him in the eyes "Tell me. Who's Alex? Does he have a boyfriend is that why ?" Clay takes a breath "Wow! He acts that way and he has a boyfriend at home. Who'd think it" Clay sinks back into Jason's arms

"No, No, Alex isn't his boyfriend" Jason sighs, hesitating " Alex is Devon's wife"

Clay takes a sharp intake of breath before sitting upright in the bed "His .. WIFE?! Oh, my god! He's married?"

Jason nods "Yeah. Long story"

"Well tell me" Clay frowns "Jason, tell me. You know she doesn't deserve that!"

"They were married when he was a SEAL then they broke up. You know... when she found out he liked guys. She couldn't handle it for a while and he went off the rails shortly after. That's when things with me and him, they got intense. Then after everything, he got help and I thought he'd sorted himself out"  
Jason sighs holding Clay tight against his body " I heard they got back together last year and that's why I thought he'd conquered his demons. The aggression, his anger. You know he never took it out Alex. He always took it out on the men. Maybe cos he couldn't handle that he liked guys, I don't know" 

He sighs closing his eyes, kissing Clay's forehead "Any way, he contacted me a few months ago said he'd got his life in order. They had a baby!" he looks at Clay "That's the only reason I went there, took you there. Cos, I thought he was back on the straight and narrow I thought he'd finally got his happiness. Boy, I was wrong."

"So, what about Alex? You gonna tell her? About what he did."

"I dunno. No, not if he stays away from you. I guess it's between them to sort out. Look this life, this double life we lead. You know we have to have, allsorts secrets. Any we have to keep them. Secret. Hell, I mean I can't judge. Not doing what I've done."

"Hmmmm" Clay sighs laying his head back on Jason's chest, his fingers circling patterns on his skin. "So, you gonna stay, the night?"

Jason smiles "You want me to?"

"What sort of dumb question is that?" Clay smiles as he kisses his lips. Stroking his hair looking him in the eyes "We're gonna be alright, you know that? This will work out. We just... we just keep it the way it is"

_Hmmm!_ "Yeah I guess" Jason sighs closing his eyes "Now shut up the hell up and go to sleep!"


	19. The Morning after

_ **WARNING this Contain M/M Adult themes so if not your thing then please don't read. **   
_

_Awww! Jeez!_ Jason groans. Blinking and squinting at the bright sunlight that's coming in the room through in the gap in the blind on the window. Slowly, he opens his eyes and reaching his hand across the empty space in the bed. He frowns confused, expecting to feel Clay lying there next to him but instead all he can feel is the smooth of the sheet.

  
He sits upright, propped against the pillows behind him. Frowning he looks towards the end of the bed where he can see Clay pulling a grey shirt over his head, rolling it down over the bare flesh of his chest, covering his naked body. "Hey!"  
  
"Oh, morning" Clay smiles "You sleep okay?

Mmmm "Yeah not bad."

"Well there's um .... juice, and coffee in the kitchen if you want some when you get up "

Jason sniffs, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, as he checks the time on his phone "Clay it's six am where the hell are you going? Come back to bed"

"Oh no sorry, I thought I might hit the gym early. Get a workout in before training this morning." he smiles " Don't wanna let my boss down by not keeping my fitness levels up."

"Oh, your fitness levels are just fine, believe me." Jason returns the smile "No but seriously, you're not going to the gym, right?" Jason frowns feeling confused as to why Clay would want to leave so early "You know I thought, seeing as you got me to stay over, that we might have breakfast together."

"Oh really?" Clay frowns shaking his head "Yeah, well see no. No, I thought I'd get to the gym before it gets busy" He points his hand gesturing out of the door.   
  
As he turns back to face him, Jason can see that he's not wearing any underwear yet and as he comes around the side of the bed to get some from the drawer, Jason grabs hold of his hand. "Wait!.... Clay...just stop! Are you serious? You're really gonna go to the gym?"

"Umm hmm! Yeah why wouldn't I ?"he shrugs

"Well you know..."Jason smiles biting his lip teasingly. " I kinda thought we might, you know, work up an appetite for breakfast"

"Oh...oh, did you now. Well whilst that's an interesting offer Mr Hayes..." Clay pulls his hand away from Jason's grasp "I'm sorry, I need to get to the gym. C'mon I need to work on these abs" Clay lifts his shirt slapping his hand against his stomach. As he shows off his naked torso, it's not his toned taut abs that Jason's looking at. No, as he lifts the shirt up, Jason's eye is drawn to the semi stiff hard on he has.

"C'mon Clay" he strokes his hand gently up his thigh "Seriously, you really wanna go to the gym? So, what as the point in asking me to stay over, if you're gonna disappear as early as this" The tone in his voice is now getting snippy. It's obvious he's not happy that Clay's going.

_"Ohhhh!_" Clay smiles, watching the serious expression on his face. "Are you pissed with me?" He struggles stifling a laugh until he can no longer hold it. His face filling with a huge beaming smile "Oh, does Jason want me to stay, and play?" he teases

Jason frowns watching as Clay continues to laugh "Are you messing with me, Clay Spenser?" He sighs watching the look on Clay's face, a teasing, flirty glint in his eye. It makes Jason smile and as he rubs his hand higher up Clay's thigh the tee shirt lifts exposing Clay's, now, full erection.

"Maybe?!" Clay smiles, licking his lips, leaning forward. His hands resting on the mattress as he drops a soft kiss against Jason lips "What? You didn't really think I was gonna go to the gym and leave you here alone?" He stares Jason directly in the eyes and smiles "Not a chance in hell!"

"You asshole!!" Jason frowns pulling him down on to the bed, playfully punching him before he wrestles him onto his back" Yeah..." he kisses his lips then down on to his neck "yeah I really thought you were seriously gonna go."

Clay laughs loud. Jason kissing his neck, pushing the material of the shirt up, exposing the firm naked flesh of his body underneath allowing him to snake more kisses over his skin.  
  
Clay takes hold of the hem of the shirt, then tugging it up and over his head he takes it off throwing it on to the floor.   
  
Now completely naked he sits himself up in the bed, his hand stroking slowly up and over Jason's hip "No way! Anyway, who needs the gym when I have you laying here to work out with" He smiles, dropping a kiss on Jason's lips his hand stroking his cheek while his fingers massage his stubble. "No" he laughs " I just wanted to see what you'd say"

"Oh really, you did, did you. And what if I'd said go?"

"Well then I'd have been pissed with you. I'd have gone to the gym and then not spoken to you for the rest of the day" he smiles. The teasing twinkle in his gorgeous blue eyes sends Jason's pulse racing. His fingers clawing at Clay's sandy, slept in, curls. Then firmly grabbing the back of his head, he pulls his mouth against him, while he continues massaging slow firm strokes up the inside of Clay's thigh.   
  
The feel of his touch on his skin makes Clay shiver with pleasure and he moans softly, encouraging him to continue. Jason now silencing his groans by forcing his tongue deep into his mouth. Their tongues massaging against each other, the wet of their mouths grinding together.   
  
Jason's getting turned on. A huge firm hardness growing between his legs. _Hmmm!_   
  
Clay sighs "You want breakfast then?"

"No!" Jason answers bluntly "No, I want you instead." He grabs hold of him, forcing him down onto the bed, on his back. His strong hands working their way in slow firm strokes over the curves of Clay's chest.   
  
_Mmmm _Clay groans as Jason's fingers tug at the small hard bud of his nipple, while his tongue draws patterns down his neck. Working his mouth in a trail to replace his fingers and he kisses and sucks on the nipple. He bites softly against his muscles, tasting his flesh, gently and carefully making sure not to mark it with his teeth.  
  
His free hand caressing its way over his abs, grasping at his waist and then finally, his fingers wraps around the hardness between Clay's thighs. Clay moaning loudly as Jason gropes at the soft of his balls. He can feel them expanding and swelling as Jason's fingers work their way around them, continuing the gentle massage  
  
_Aahhhhh! Mmmm!_ He sighs in hushed moans and groans "Oh god!!" Clay smiles, watching as Jason's lips come back to his. He can't get his tongue far enough inside Jason's mouth. The want he has for him is so great.   
  
They pause the kissing, now their eyes locked, staring passionately at each other. Clay stroking his hand over Jason ass, kneading his fingers into the firm flesh, griping and pulling at it, while Jason strokes, back and forward, along the length of Clay's cock.   
  
He's still staring at Jason "I wanna fuck _you!_" he gasps breathlessly, whispering as he bites softly on his ear lobe.

For a moment Jason's taken aback "What do you mean, you wanna fuck _me_?"

_Mmmm hmm! _Clay nods, smiling at him "That's what I want. I wanna fuck_ you!_"

Jason hesitates, unsure. It's been a long time since he's trusted anyone enough to allow their cock inside him. Although he knows this, being with Clay, is different to anyone else he's been with, he's still hesitant, still unsure. He still wants to think it over. "Why don't I fuck you first, then we'll see"

"No!" Clay frowns pushing him back, holding him way from his body so that he can look him in the eyes. "Please. I wanna be inside you. Jason, I wanna be close to you. Let me do this."

"Clay I .. I can't, not yet" he sighs

"Hey!" Clay grabs at his cheek, holding it, forcing him to look at him "I want you so much" he kisses his lips "Let me do this. Just trust me."

Jason sits back on his heels, pulling away from Clay as he runs his hand through his hair thinking "I don't know, Clay. It's just..." he sighs, placing his hand in the back of his head he pulls at Clay's curls tugging them in his fingers.

"What is it? That you wanna be in control. You don't want me to have power over you. I get it. That with what we do, our places in the team but Jason, you were the one said that we leave it at the door, right? What we do here, doesn't spill over out there. So ... I want you, and I wanna show you how much. It's not about control or power it's about you trusting me"

Jason's still hesitant "Look, I'm not sure this... it's all movin too fast for me. Maybe we need to slow it down. Maybe this is too much after last night"

"Hey no!" Clay suddenly panics that Jason's wants to stop and they won't end up making love "Okay, it's fine. I get it alright. Let’s forget it for now. Come here" He smiles kissing him. Jason's still apprehensively pulling back "Jason, I said come here. Look, I'll wait. It will happen. But I know you're not ready right now. That's fine. Now come back here .." he smiles, pulling at his neck, forcing his lips back to his mouth _Mmmm!  
_  
Jason smiles, he lets out a long groan. He can feel the warmth of Clay's willing body underneath him and he's so hard thinking about how much he wants him. He smiles "I'm gonna give you the fucking of your life Clay Spenser for teasing me like this"

"Oh, I hope so." Clay grins, his hand finds Jason's hard cock. Pulling and tugging at it, he starts to jerk him of.

"Oh god! No, don't do that! " Jason stops him, taking his hand away, pinning it to the bed "You know I'm not gonna be able to hold out and fuck you if you do that."

"Guess you better get on with it then" Clay's smile is infectious as Jason forces his leg back against his chest, pushing his knees up "Hold it!" Clay holds both his knee exposing the entrance to his body and Jason gets the lube from the side table, taking another condom from the pack. Then sitting back on his heels, he rolls it slowly down along the length of cock.   
  
Clay's watching, the whole thing is making him want to cum already. Then he can feel Jason's fingers massaging the lube around his ass, dipping and coating his insides with the creamy fluid. _Mmmm_ He groans over and over at the sensation of Jason's fingers pushing deeper inside him. He closes his eyes enjoying the experience. Jason's free hand massaging his stomach as he holds his legs out of the way. "Oh god!!" _Mmmm!_ "Oh, make me cum, Jason"

"Hold on there Blondie" Jason smiles as he probes deeper, it's turning him on too. He's not going to be able to keep away from Clay much longer "You okay?" Jason checks with him, smiling he can see the absolute look of pleasure on Clay's face as his fingers probe in and out of his body.  
  
Clay gripping his legs tight. Totally exposed in this position. He rocks back and forward forcing himself against Jason's hand, then Jason ups the pleasure level by entering a third digit and pushing deep inside, while stroking his hand softly against the skin of his thigh, making Clay groan even more loudly _Awww! Mmmm_   
  
Jason's enjoying watching as Clay squirms against the added extra pressure "You like that?" he breathlessly teases him "Oh you do, I can see it!"

_Mmmm! "_Oh yeah!" Clay moans he's hardly able to speak as Jason fucks him with his fingers "I wanna take _you _though." Clay pleads with him.

"Soon. Soon I promise." Jason pull out then leaning his body between Clay's clenched legs, his naked chest rubbing against Clay's he kisses him. Clay's able to feel the hard pressure of his cock against his lubed entrance as Jason prepares to enter him. And the for just a moment there's a sharp intense pain that makes Clay gasp, then it eases as Jason slowly enters him. The feeling of his own hard cock pressed against Jason's stomach nearly makes him cum.

Jason can feel him clench, resisting "Clay, you alright?" he checks with him, looking him in the eyes , stroking his hand along his thigh, soothing him.

_Mmmm hmm!_ Clay smiles, as he tries to relax. There's always this moment of pain and he wonders if that will ever get better. It's not unbearable and over very quickly, replaced by an intense pleasure as the tip of Jason's hardness pushes past his entrance, forcing its way deep inside him. Clay grips tighter at his knees. He's totally vulnerable and exposed.  
  
Jason has the control over his pleasure, and he smiles, loving the fact that Clay is so willing and so wanting. He looks gorgeous, his skin smooth under his touch as he runs his hands softly over Clay's ass cheeks and along, up the back of his thigh. Listening to every groan each time he thrusts inside the tight warmth, the feeling overwhelms Jason's senses. _  
  
Oh, fuck!!!_ He grunts as he continues thrusting " _Clay!_..._Oh yeah!_ That feels so good!"   
Jason grinds further forward, controlling the strength that he's using against Clay's body. Moving slowly, but he wants this to feel really great. He wants to give Clay what he said, a good fuck. And so, he stops, withdrawing himself, much to Clay's confused disappointment "Jason, no don't stop!"

"Patience" Jason smiles, as pulls Clay's body to the edge of the bed.   
  
He's standing firmly grounded his feet on the floor and he slides his hands under Clay's butt, pulling him to the edge of the mattress, then he pushes his knees back, getting him to hold them closer to his chest. He fingers him again spreading the lube massaging it in, making Clay wet. Then with his hands firmly griping Clay's hips, he pulls him fast and firmly against the hard of his cock. Impaling him against his body.

_Ahhh!!!_ "Oh god!! Clay cries out. His legs shake and he can't speak. His head spins there's a moment of pain then he's overwhelmed as a pulsing shock of pleasure surges up his body.  
  
Jason smiles the tip of his large cock resting inside against Clay's prostate and he thinks he might cum right there " _Oh shit!!!_ Oh my... _Clay!!!_ Oh, oh .... _Clay_ !!... _Clay_" he grunts breathlessly the muscles in his own body spasm, and he can't get his breath.

Clay lays silent. He's unable to make a sound as he's lost in the feeling of pleasure, which is obvious from the look on his face. Jason smiles as he continues to fuck him "Oh yeah!! You really like that, don't you? Yeah I can see... that's good right?" Jason's face beams at what he's doing "Hold your legs, tighter now, I'm gonna cum soon"

Jason begins to thrust back and forward. Clay shuts his eyes tight. His cum starts to leak, his cock ready to burst.   
  
Jason's balls swell as he pounds against Clay body, the friction he can feel against the sheet on the bed causes a satisfying sensation. Then Jason closes his eyes shutting out Clay's beautiful body to just concentrate on just fucking him. He wants him so much and he wants to show him that. He thrusts forward, fast and hard. Burying himself deep. Grunting with each inwards stroke and gasping each time he comes out.   
  
The sensation is amazing, and he concentrates. Holding off his orgasm, he doesn't want this pleasure to end. He leans forward, forcing his tongue into Clay's mouth slowing his pace, holding back. Then resting deep inside Clay's body taking all of him _Oh fuck!_ "This feels so good!" he smiles stroking Clay's face.   
  
Clay grasping at his neck. His legs aching "Cum inside me, now! I want you!" he gasps over and over

Jason doesn't need asking again and he stands back, giving a final frenzy of short, hard, fast thrusts and then he cums. He groans, the warm fluid filling the condom inside Clay.   
  
"_Ahhh! _He gasps, smiling as he watches the white of Clay's cum spill from his dick all over his stomach. He relaxes his legs, Jason managing to stay just about stay inside him the angle he has as he lifts his butt and with Clay's feet on the edge of bed supporting his weight.  
  
He strokes his thighs, massaging the muscles that he can feel pulsing under his hands. Then taking a breath he steps back "Wow! Well, that was a good early morning workout"   
  
He smiles as he pulls out. Tying the condom, which he drops it in the trash can on the floor by the bed and then they both schooch back up into the pillows.   
  
Jason's lying flat on his chest, Clay lays beside him making circles with his fingers on his shoulder and down his back. He leans his face against his arm. Then Jason turns on his side putting his arm over Clay's back while they both rest "Hey you okay?" Jason frowns "What's wrong ?"   
  
"Nothing really, just wondering... . will you ever let me fuck you?" he sighs wondering why he can't be satisfied with what they have. He wanted this for so long but now he yearns for more .

Jason looks him in the face. He smiles stroking his cheek "Maybe! Just give me some time. Let's just take it slow" He kisses his lips messing his hair up, more than it is already. "C'mon, let's get cleaned up. I'm starving now "

"You wanna shower with me?" Clay smiles his hand running down over Jason's spine and up over the curve of his butt

"Yeah why not" he looks at the time on his phone "We got a while yet before we have to be in"

"I need to pee" Clay taps his hand against Jason's shoulder, indicating for him to release his weight from his body so that he can get up but before he lets him go, Jason strokes his curls back from his face, raking his fingers through his beard and kisses him  
  
"You know, I will give you what you want. It's just I need some time. Get my head around all this. It's complicated, we're complicated, and we're gonna have to find a way to navigate this. Because no one can find out, right! Never. But I mean it, I will let you. But you just have to be patient"

"So that means we're gonna do this again? " Clay smiles, dropping a kiss on his lips "Cos you know, I can't wait for that." Clay stands up, he uses the shirt that he dropped on the floor to clean up the cum from his stomach, throwing straight into the laundry pile.   
  
Jason smacks him hard across his ass which makes Clay groan._ Owww!_ "What the hell was that for?"

"Just because." Jason laughs "You know that ass of yours should be listed as a dangerous weapon. I've got so that I can't resist it." He smiles, sitting up, stroking his hands over the smooth curve of it "Look, I'm gonna grab a coffee. You get that shower running "

Clay sighs contentedly as he checks his phone. Missed call._ Sonny! Sorry you'll have to wait. _  
  
He won't call him back right now, because right now, he doesn't want anything from the outside world to disturb this time he has alone with Jason.


	20. Thank you

**WARNING AGAIN this is NSFW material M/M sex content. Look away if you don't like that sort of thing :) (please continue and let me know what you think if you do!)**

Sonny wakes. _Awww!_ He groans stretching his arms high above his head towards the ceiling. He blinks but physically can't open his eyes yet, the light in the room far too bright for his now delicate head   
  
"Oh fuck... what the hell happened to me?!" Rubbing at the ache in his side and turning over, he puts his hand to his head rubbing his temples, then he frowns._ What the fuck?_ He listens to the sound of groans coming from the other side of the bed next to him and finally he forces his eyes to open.   
  
He takes a breath, sighing as he looks over at the shape of a body next to him and he smiles. He can see the shape of his Texan cowboy hat sticking out from under the quilt cover "Well hey..._hey_ there!" he smiles, well as best he can with his head is aching the way it is. _Awww!_ He moans again thinking that he doesn't _ever _remember having a hangover like this.   
  
Then despite how queasy he feels, or how heavy the lead feeling in his head, he manages to reach his hand across the bed feeling the body under the covers, next to him. He frowns and he takes a deep breath as his hand feels the naked flesh lying there   
  
"What the hell!!?" He gasps, panicked. Instead of the soft curves of a woman, one of the girls he, thought, he brought home being next to him, he feels the solid, hard body of a man.   
  
_Shitttt!_ "What the FUCK!!?" Sonny sits bolt upright in the bed shocked.

"Oh...hey there stranger!" Devon smiles from under Sonny's hat that he's still wearing "Hey... Sonny calm down!" he frowns looking at his face "Hey brah! Don't look so worried" Devon runs his hand through his hair "Oh...oh my god... my head" he frowns again as he continues to stare at the mouth open Sonny. "How's yours? God... how the hell much tequila did we drink last night?"

"What the fuck!!! What the hell are you doing here?" Sonny can't get his words out he's so shocked. He has no idea of how much of anything he drank last night and in his panic he jumps out of bed. Then realizing he's stark naked he picks up the pillow covering his cock with it.  
  
Fuck!!! "How the hell ?!...I mean what the fuck!!! Where the hell are the girls ?" Sonny can't breathe, his heart beating fast, his head sweating, his stomach churning over.

"Oh um... " Devon sits up he too is naked and Sonny can't help but look at his huge muscles and toned physique. He looks away as Devon notices and smiles at him "Yeah I um... I got them a cab. I think they were bored. I mean .. when you couldn't ...you know perform, then they wanted to go home"

"And you? Why are you here? What were you doin ?"

"What?" Devon smiles "Oh what .. you don't remember. " He laughs "Well we um... we you know.. we continued to party! You know ....tequila ... good time!" he grins at him as he looks over at Sonny standing there by the side of the bed.

"What the...hell. I mean did we um...I mean I don't I... don't this ... I um.. I'm not.... Oh god why don't I remember. What the hell..." He frowns ".. did we do somethin' ? Oh my god ..how much did I fuckin drink last night? I mean my god I don't remember anything. I just feel like I passed out. I lost a whole night and I don't remember what the hell happened. I never get this drunk!"

"Well you pretty much summed up the night right there, yeah" Devon laughs " ... with few bits in-between but, .. hey you don't wanna go there right!" He smiles "Look I'm err.. I'm gonna grab a quick shower if you don't mind then I need to go. Hey are you okay?" Devon frowns as he gets out of bed and Sonny looks at his large naked body, his huge cock semi hard as he stretches himself.

"Oh man!!" Sonny sits down and rubs his head "Fuck!!"

Devon smiles, taking the hat off his head he leans over and places it onto Sonny's "Hey Cowboy.. don't worry ... I mean you were great!" He winks as he heads to the bathroom

Sonny drops down on the bed his head in his hands "Oh fuck!! ...Fuck! " He rubs at the ache in his head before checking the time and messages on his phone. Looking down at his naked flesh he's trying to work out _What the hell happened?_ He doesn't remember a single thing from last night. and he puts his hand on his thigh then around to his butt cheek. Trying to think if anything feels different. Trying recall something .. anything about the night just gone.   
  
"Shit man!" He picks up his phone again from beside the bed. He looks at it, taking a moment, and a deep breath and then he hits call on Clay's number. "Shit c'mon Clay... Clay c'mon answer the goddamn phone!"  
  
The after sitting there for he doesn't know how long, trying to recall the events of last night, he looks up as he hears the sound of the door lock click and Devon leave.  
  
He leans back against the headboard, sitting between the pillows on the bed. He closes his eyes _Fuck!!! _"Oh man what the hell did I do last night?"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

The shower is on, the running water turning warm and the steam from it already filling the room. Clay's brushing his teeth at the sink and as he looks up, staring into the mirror he smiles.   
  
There stood in the bathroom doorway is Jason. He's sipping from his coffee cup as he watches Clay at the wash basin. He smiles. Sipping more coffee, he seductively licks the warm liquid from his lips and Clay smiles as he watches his tongue flick across his mouth. The mouth he wants to kiss, the mouth he wants against his own again.   
  
He's impatient now "So, I thought you were joining me, in the shower, or are you um... just gonna stand there watching me all morning?"

"Oh um.. I haven't decided yet. You know I quite like watching you but I ...I guess I need a shower too. I'm a little dirty from last night" he smiles. "So,I could join you I suppose, if that's what you want"   
  
He smiles again, watching Clay rinses his mouth out. "Oh yeah... I definitely want" Clay smiles. As he surfaces from the basin, his piercing blue eyes stare over at him from the mirror reflection.

Jason dark eyes are also busy, working their way slowly over the whole of Clay's body. Following around the outline of his perfect muscular torso stood in front of the wash basin. He's completely naked, feet slight apart with his back to Jason, he looks great.  
  
_Hmm! _Jason sighs. He's enjoying looking at the smooth curve of Clay's pert ass, his tight calf and thigh muscles and Jason can't hold out now. His cock's already stirring with longing from inside the white cotton shorts he put on when he got out of bed earlier. He places the now empty coffee cup down on the worktop beside the basin and positioning his body behind Clay's, his hands either side of Clay's waist he leans pushing him against the work surface.  
  
Now they're just standing there, staring at each other's reflections in the mirror. Jason likes this, it means he can look at both sides of Clay's body at the same time. His perfect chest physique reflected to him in the mirror and then the muscular toned smoothness of his back and ass.   
_  
Mmmm!_ Jason groans placing his hands against the firm ass cheeks he's looking at, smoothing his fingers gently over the soft skin.  
  
Clay tries to turn around. He wants to face him, kiss him, put his mouth on him again but he can't.   
  
Jason forcefully holds him in place where he is "Don't you dare move!" he groans "I wanna look at you." he whispers, brushing his teeth teasingly over Clay's ear. The warmth of his breath on Clay's neck.   
  
_Hmm!_ Clay sighs almost instantly turned on by the feeling of Jason's body against his. His cock stiffens as Jason grinds against him, pushing him forward forcing his hardness against the side of the cold work top. _Mmmm! _He continues groaning as Jason works gentle kisses along the base of his neck and over his shoulders. Slowly working his firm lips along each muscle, his stubble scratching gently at his skin as Jason's fingers follow down the curve of his spine. Jason's dick is also hard now.  
  
_Mmmm!_ He moans. His large cock straining as it presses against the tight fabric of his under shorts. He rubs gently up and down against the crack of Clay's ass _Oh god!!! _How much he wants to force himself between those two firm cheeks again. To fuck him right here in front of the mirror. He smiles. He wants to but he won't.   
  
No, he won't because he wants to tease and also he's decided he wants to give him something he hasn't given him before. He wants to suck Clay off. But he wants to do it in the water because he knows under the warm shower water the stimulation will be much more intense. He wants to see the look on Clay's face when he does that. He smiles watching Clay close his eyes and he knows what he wants.   
  
Watching him in the mirror the taut sectioned muscles of his abs, his toned chest. _Oh yeah!_ Jason is turned on by him, more than he ever thought he would be. His hand follows a line around his waist. He can see himself touching and stroking, his fingers searching and finding the hard length of Clay's ridged shaft   
  
_Oh fuck!_ Clay grins, flinching against the touch to his cock. He thrusts his hips forward wanting Jason to take hold of him, but Jason just smiles and stops. He takes his hand away and smacks Clay hard on the ass making him cry out "Jason!!!" He frowns " Oh no, no don't stop now. Hey c'mon I wanna fuck!"

"Oh, do you now, do you?" Jason smiles looking at him standing naked in front of him. He grabs his waist pulling his groin against this own, rubbing them together. The sensation makes Clay groan and his pre cum leaks onto the front of Jason underwear. Jason smiles again "Oh you really do want it don't you. You know Clay Spenser..." he kisses his him full on the lips "... you're a greedy boy"

Clay smiles, beaming as he grabs Jason firmly by the waist. Placing his lips wantonly back onto Jason's mouth "No it's you. You're taking advantage of my weakened state!" He looks him in the eyes. "You know... I really wanna fuck you, so bad!" He grabs at Jason's head, forcing his tongue between the soft of his lips, pushing it deep inside his mouth. Oh, how much he'd love that to be his cock inside Jason's ass. "But I'll wait!"   
  
Breaking their embrace Clay steps under the water in the shower and taking the body wash from the shelf he pours some into his hand then lathers it up over his body. She soaps suds bubble on his skin the shiny wet highlighting the tone and curves of his muscles more. He has this glint as he watches Jason looking at him. Then he takes hold of his cock in his hand stroking it slowly while Jason continues to watch him from outside the cubicle.

_Oh fuck!_ he sighs. Smiling as Clay puts on a show for him. Massaging his hands over his own chest and down his thigh, the white creamy lather covering his golden body.   
  
He leans back on the wall "You don't want this?" he grins teasingly

_Mmmm!_ Jason groans nodding. Then quickly he slides his shorts down his legs and steps under the water with him. "Oh I want it!" His breathing's heavy as he tries to control his excitement. His hand sliding over Clay's skin, massaging the creamy frothy soap over his chest. Clay teasing him by flexing each muscle as he touches it.

_Oh fuck!_ He sighs again he can feel his rigid hard cock pulsing as Clay drops to his knees in front of him. Wrapping his mouth around Jason's swollen full twelve inches of hard he mouths his tongue along his length. Jason thrusts forward pushing it right to the back of his throat and closes his eyes to enjoy the sensation.   
  
_Mmmm!_ Clay slurps, trying not to gag as it fills the whole of his throat. Holding Jason's hips as he bobs his head back and forward. Jason's fingers pulling tight in his curls   
  
"Oh fuck I'm gonna cum!" Jason frowns he didn't realize just how much Clay had turned him on and pulling at his hair he holds his against his length and fucks deep against his mouth until its not long before he sprays his lips with his creamy taste.

"Wow! That was fast" Clay smiles at what he's managed to do.   
  
Jason closes his eyes and sighs _God this boy gets to me!_ Taking a breath, the look on his face changes as he suddenly forces Clay back against the tiled wall "You think you can do better?" he smiles teasingly, kissing his lips, tasting himself on Clay's mouth.  
  
"What ?" Clay frowns confused by what Jason's asking him.

"I bet I can make you cum faster!" Jason laughs, running his hand over his nipple and tweaking it.   
  
Clay's still frowning, still unsure about what's about to happen. But before he can speak, think or say a word he groans. _Mmmm! _and he finds he has Jason's mouth wraps softly around the hard of his cock. He begins to suck _ Oh fuck!!_ Clay takes a sharp intake of breath. _Mmmmm!_ He groans. _Oh god Jason! _He really wasn't expecting this and he smiles, a little unsure about what to do, where to place his hands, as Jason's tongue works its way down the length of his hard dick.  
  
_Oh fucckkkk!_ he closes his eyes, his hands fisting at the back of Jason's neck. He takes a deep breath in, there is no way he's going to be able to hold out because this is exactly what he'd been waiting for. Jason giving to him, him being the submissive one, except he isn't, he isn't submissive at all.   
  
Clay knows when sucks on Jason's cock it's still Jason that's in control, but now, now it's still Jason in control even if he's in the supposed to be the one in the submissive position, the one giving the pleasure. Clay has zero control over this and as Jason's tongue makes one more circle of his bulging head, Clay's unable to hold, shooting his warm wet load straight onto Jason's chin.  
  
_Oh fuck! Shit!!_ .. "Sorry! Oh my god... I mean, I wasn't expecting .. oh, oh that was intense!" he's breathless, totally wrung out. His legs shake, that orgasm was incredible. He smiles as Jason kisses him. The water cleaning them as they stand wrapped in each other's arms, the warm water cascading over their naked bodies.   
  
"Thank you!" Clay smiles stroking his hands down Jason's back.

Jason nods at him and then steps out of the shower, taking a clean towel from the rail to dry himself .

Clay turns the water off, he's still beaming. Knowing how good that was he wants to do it again. He sighs as he wraps a towel around his waist. 

They're in the bedroom finding their clothes and dressing "So am I gonna see you again this week?" Clay questions as he checks his phone and the new missed calls from Sonny. _Hmmm!_ he sighs.   
  
Just as he throws his cell down on to the bed it bleeps and looking around, over the other side of the room, so does Jason's. _Oh shit!!_ He frowns pulling his pants up "Looks like we gotta go!"

Clay checks his phone too _Shit!_ He sighs, disappointed. He realizes that until they can find some time alone again that this is all he's going to be getting for now.

Now dressed they both stand at the doorway ready to leave "Wait!" Clay pushes the door shut and grabs at Jason's waist. Then putting his lips to his he holds him, staring him in the eyes "How about the weekend? I mean, to get together again."

"I um... you know I'm sorry, I can't. Sorry but I got Emma here and we're gonna drive up to see Mikey. He's got a game this weekend and I promised I'd be there"

"Okay so... so when? Jason I need to see you again. I don't wanna wait."

"I don't know Clay ... but hey c'mon we'll sort something, right? I promise."

_Hmmm!_ Clay sighs, disappointed "I just ... I just wanna be with you"

"We're getting spun up" Jason smiles kissing him "You're gonna be with me" he sighs "Look um...I know this is hard right, but we'll find some time. I promise. Now get your gear we need to go"

"You promise? I mean, that we'll get some time together, soon" he sighs "Oh god this is gonna be so damn hard, you know that. Being with you, but not being able to touch you"

"Clay... c'mon, you knew this from the start. I warned you" he sighs "Clay, this is why I said we shouldn't happen." He frowns watching him, his hand stroking against his cheek " Now come on get it together. We got work to do!"

"Yeah ...yeah you're right" he smiles "Hey...come here." he puts his lips on Jason's and his hand on his cheek. "Thank you! I had a great time"


End file.
